


Wicked Game

by Inmyownidiom



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Scenario, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Bendemption, Dammit Hux, Enthusiastic Consent, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Gratuitous Smut, Humorously Awkward Sex, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, I actually wrote a full-on fight scene you guys, Inappropriate Use of the Force, Kylo Ren Needs a Hug, Light BDSM, Light Bondage, Light Dom/sub, Made Up My Own Characters, Oral Sex, Post-Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Redeemable Byronic Hero, Reylo - Freeform, SO MUCH FLUFF, Sex, Sexual Tension, Shameless Smut, Smut, Spoilers, Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Star Wars: The Last Jedi Spoilers, The Author Regrets Nothing, Throne Room, all aboard the smut train
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-04
Updated: 2018-03-30
Packaged: 2019-03-13 15:53:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 43,077
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13573854
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Inmyownidiom/pseuds/Inmyownidiom
Summary: After Snoke's death, Rey and Kylo Ren have teamed up to fight in one of the more exciting Star Wars battles. In this alternate take on the fight's aftermath, they do a bit more than just yell at each other and storm off--and in the weeks that follow, they do *much* more. Shameless smut, a little silliness, and a tiny bit of plot; but let's be honest, it's mostly shameless smut.





	1. Chapter the First

**Author's Note:**

> Hello there, gentle reader! Thanks for taking a peek at my star-porn. I've written smut before, and I've written fiction before, but this is my very first smutty fan-fiction. (I have to admit that it's actually a freaking blast.)

The red-clad bodies slumped across the shining floor. Embers of what used to be pivotal life-support systems floated cheerily in the air.

Supreme Leader Snoke’s rule had fallen to pieces. Literally. Two of them.

Rey faced the hulking, panting, sweating man who stood in front of her. A chunk of his black hair hung in front of his eyes. Should she brush it away, or would that be too intimate? Not that intimacy seemed that far off at the moment. Their fight had been like a dance; they had moved against each other, with each other, sensing the other's body and breath and even thought. The space around them felt electrified, or maybe that was just the failing life-support.

Kylo stretched his hand out to her.

“Join me,” he said. His black eyes flickered. Reflections of the fires, or something else?

“I can’t,” Rey whispered.

His hand didn’t move, though everything in him tensed as if he was expecting a laser blast to the gut.

 _Please_ , his body seemed to scream.

She shouldn’t reach for him. Her mind clamored at her to grab her lightsaber and hold him at a distance, distract him so those dark eyes could stop distracting her. Yet her hand drifted towards his anyway, seeming so small compared to the wide stretch of his fingers.

He started to tremble. The lock of hair fluttered against his eyelash and he blinked rapidly. Without thinking, she brought her hand up to brush the hair out of his face and his skin burned under her fingertips.

Before she could pull back to the safety of her side, he had grasped her fingers.

“Join me,” Kylo said in a harsh whisper. He moved closer to Rey. “Right now. On the floor. I want to have you.”

His low words made Rey’s pulse leap under her skin. She wasn’t expecting him to say it like _that_. Brusque and to the point. But this was Kylo Ren, after all. The new Supreme Leader. He didn’t have the time to lightly step around his intentions. He didn’t really need to state them, either. He was looking at her mouth as if he was set on devouring it. Rey felt a fluttering low in her belly.

Well, why shouldn’t she? Despite all of her training, she still felt adrift in the galaxy; no family, no lineage, no blood calling her to a purpose. The only sense of place she experienced came along with her connection to the Force, though she was finding even that wasn’t enough. The friendships she had formed seemed true, but would her friends still be her friends without the power she wielded? The thoughts were incessant and disheartening, and they plagued her constantly.

Here was a chance to escape those thoughts. But the man extending the offer was her enemy; he was everything she feared becoming and a dire threat to everything she believed.

 _Please._ His voice was soft in her head, the barest brush of a whisper, a tickle of air against her buzzing mind.

Rey’d had enough of rationalizing. _Live a little, you must_ , as Master Yoda would say. She had never met the legend, so there was no reason he would have said such a thing; though that also meant there was no reason he _wouldn’t_ have said it.

She fisted Kylo’s cowl in her hands and shoved her mouth against his. Despite all of his bravado, he must not have been expecting her to lunge. His full lips parted under her own with a gasp of surprise.

Kylo only froze for a second. One of his gloved hands dove into her hair and the other pressed against her back, crushing her against him. Sweet demigods, this man was enormous. And strong. She felt a solid wall of muscle against her torso, from her breasts down to her hips.

His hot mouth moved to her neck and he let out a groan. The vibrations from it sent sparks skittering across her skin. Her knees felt weak. She wanted to blame it on the battle that had happened mere moments before, but that would be a lie. It was not the fight. It was the way this broody, dark man was nuzzling her pulse, dragging the tip of his tongue up to her ear, scraping her earlobe gently between his teeth.

A moan escaped her throat. She didn’t intend it to, but it snuck out and burst in the air. Kylo’s response was swift. His hips ground against hers and she felt the solid ridge of him, firm against her stomach.

Boldness moved her limbs, and she relished the way he jumped when she pressed her hand against his groin. Rey paused. Frowned. She pressed her hand against him again.

“Kylo…”

Kylo grunted, lips trailing over her jaw.

Rey removed her hand and took a step out of his arms.

There were those that thought Rey to be innocent, and in several ways, that was true. Yet however lonely she had been on Jakku, there were always those who were willing to make the cold nights a little less cold. So she knew very well what lurked underneath a man’s belt, as it were. This was...different. She recognized most of it, but what felt like a thick ring of metal gave her pause.

Kylo was staring at her again. He reached out for her, but she held up a hand to halt him, then pointed a finger to his robes.

“Tell me what that is.”

One corner of his mouth twitched. It could have been a smile, but it was gone too fast to know for sure. It was like a flash of light in a blackened room. That brief glimpse of what a Kylo smile could be pushed on something deep inside of her. She wanted more of it. But there were other pressing matters at hand. Pressing metal matters.

“If you need telling,” he said after a glance down at his groin, “we are going to have problems.”

Rey leveled an unamused stare at him. She couldn’t think of any reasonable explanation why one would have metal in that area. Though Vader had...no. No. Metal limbs were nothing like a metal penis. Dread hammered in her chest. If he had done that, done the unthinkable to his own body, could she bring herself to…

Her hands twisted in the folds of her clothing as her thoughts hurtled wildly from one horrible idea to the next.

And then, shock of all shocks, Kylo Ren looked uncomfortable. He shifted his weight from one foot to the other and couldn’t bring his eyes to hers. It was startling, like seeing graffiti on a battlecruiser, or a droid in a ballet costume.

Kylo’s hands fidgeted with the clasp to his pants. He drew the material open slowly and winced as his cock sprang free from the fabric.

Rey choked back a yelp. Shock mixed with relief. Strange, but not _that_ strange. Still. She leveled a stare at him.

“Do tell me what that is,” she said. A metal ring as long as her thumb adorned the base of his penis.

“It’s a...crgknng,” Kylo mumbled.

“What?”

“A ckrng.” He looked intently at the floor.

Rey dragged a hand down her face. “A _what_?”

He clenched his jaw. “ A cock ring!” he blurted.

“Oh,” Rey said. “But...why?”

A light blush spread up his neck. He looked almost sheepish. Almost. “It was for you,” he muttered. “I was told it would make me,” he cleared his throat, “more imposing.”

“Awfully presumptive of you,” she said. Her eyes were fixed on it. She tried to focus on more neutral ground, like the broad slope of his shoulders or the redding hue of his ears, but her eyes seemed to be blatantly ignoring the command.

“I like to be prepared,” Kylo said. “And...part of the First Order training is meant to make you feel...inadequate. In every way.” He seemed to struggle with a sudden hatred. “So you’ll fight better and claw your way up faster. So yes, I wore this...thing...to…” He swallowed harshly before finishing, “to please you.”

The arrogant jut of his jaw was a delightful contrast to the flustered crimson of his neck.

“You don’t need it,” she said, and meant it. He was as thick as a jungle root and longer than anyone she’d been with before. “You really don’t.” She took a few steps until she was close enough to smell the sweat and the spicy scent of his skin.

His dark eyes flicked up to her, and the hopeful look on his face nearly undid her right then.

“When did you have time to put it on?” Rey said.

“When your pod docked.”

“And you’ve been, er...up...since then?”

Kylo pressed his lips into a thin line. “The fight made it worse.” His cock bobbed as if in agreement.

Rey mentally tallied. “But that’s been--”

“Almost three hours,” he finished, his voice a strangled groan.

The amount of thought he put into all of this hovered around ‘sweet,’ but didn’t have the correct docking connections to make contact, so it instead landed on ‘naughty.’ Rey had never been involved with anything ‘naughty’ before. It was very exciting.

“Take it off.”

He reached down and fumbled with it. And kept fumbling.

“There’s a latch,” he grumbled. “My gloves…”

“Here,” she said, and knelt to the cockring’s level. It was a precisely-made piece of machinery: minute clasps, bolts, and surface wires designed for who knows what sorts of possibilities. But it was still a machine, and Rey knew machines. Her fingers prodded and poked, felt along seams until, with a clink, the device landed on the shining floor.

“That’s done it,” she said proudly, and looked up. Kylo’s lips were parted and his breath came in ragged gulps. His pupils were so blown that his eyes were like inky pools.

She blinked up at him. What in the world could he…

_Oh._

She was kneeling in front of the new Supreme Leader, and his cock throbbed inches from her face. From her mouth. His hands were balled into fists at his sides.

Her eyes fixed on his length. One hand drifted up to it and as the tip of her finger touched his velvety, rigid skin, he let out a guttural bark. Rey smiled up at him, but torment showed in the knit of his eyebrows. She pulled her hand back. It must not have been what he’d wanted.

“Please,” he groaned. “Do it again.”

Touch him again? That was an easy order to follow. One of her fingers traced the veins under his skin as a shining drop of moisture beaded at the tip. He was fascinating to look at. She let out a huff of wonder. The warm puff of air tossed the hairs at the base of his cock and his ensuing cry could have been one of pleasure or of pain. His hips jerked forward into her hands. She used both hands to stroke him, relishing the gasps and pants above her.

But that puff of air from her mouth had given her an idea. She licked her lips and looked up at him. He must have seen, must have known what she wanted to do.

“Rey...”

She opened her mouth and leaned towards him.

“Stop,” he said. It wasn’t the command of the new Supreme Leader. It was a plea, an order that cracked partway through.

“You don’t want me to?”

He scrunched his eyes closed. “I do. Very much so. But if you take me in your mouth--” he sucked in a rattling breath, “then I will lose control.”

Rey rolled her eyes. “Because you keep such a close rein on yourself normally.”

Kylo opened his mouth to respond, but she darted forward faster than his words could protest. Her tongue dragged up the bottom of his penis. His shouts were incomprehensible. His hands flew to her head, gripping and snaking through her hair. Energy raced through Rey and coiled between her legs. In this moment, she might be kneeling before him, but he was under her command. She controlled him. The power was extraordinary. She could see how someone could crave it.

She wrapped a hand around the base of his cock and sucked him into her mouth. His whole body shuddered and his hands tightened against her scalp. He let out a low moan, and then he began to thrust into her mouth in wild, jerking, erratic bursts that shoved against the back of her throat and rocked her entire body. She let out a muffled yelp. He filled her so completely that she couldn’t breathe. She grasped at his thick wrists, at his corded forearms, but he was in his own world, his eyes shut, his head thrown back. Rey reached out with her mind, and felt it brush his, then pushed every thought into him, every feeling, the thrill but also the fear.

He stopped immediately and pulled out of her mouth with a wet pop.

“I’m sorry,” he gasped. “I’m sorry.” Kylo sunk to his knees as Rey gulped in the air. He bracketed her face with his hands.

“It’s all right.” She coughed. “You did warn me.”

He leaned in and kissed her. “I’m sorry,” he said against her mouth.

Rey leaned back. “Show me,” she said.

Kylo frowned in confusion.

“Show me,” she said again. “How sorry you are.”

“Ah. Certainly,” he said, understanding.

His lips moved so gently against her mouth she wanted to melt. How could someone so rough and brutish kiss like a damn hero? It wasn’t fair, to anyone.

Keeping his lips on hers, he cupped one hand behind her head and lowered her carefully to her back. Locks of black hair, softer than she thought they’d be, tickled her cheeks. The floor was cold, but his large, heavy frame radiated warmth. She grabbed a handful of his clothing and pressed herself against his broad chest.

And then the hero was gone. With a groan, he angled his mouth and caught her lower lip between his teeth, biting down until she gasped. His tongue passed over the spot before flicking into her mouth. Strong fingers clutched her waist as he ground against her pelvis. This kiss was harsher than before. He besieged her, ransacked her, took what he wanted without any regard to what he left behind.

They were both panting by the time he lifted his head. Heavy-lidded black eyes stared into hers. Rey’s body thrummed with exhilaration. Oh, but she wanted more.

“Go on,” she said, her voice light and breathy.

He smiled for her, then. It was a small one, just a curling of one side of his lips, but it made her shiver.

Kylo shifted his weight to one arm. His free hand hovered over the ties of her pants and with the slightest shift in the air, the fastening laces lifted and untied themselves. Cloth shifted and slipped over her skin.

“You couldn’t do that before?” she said breathlessly.

“When?”

“With your...ring.”

“Oh, I could.”

His gloved hand dragged down her belly and slipped under her pants. It seemed unnatural, somehow, for their skin to still be seperated. She felt the glorious pressure and the electrifying surge of pleasure as he rubbed her, but not the heat of him, the texture of him.

Even still, when he swirled one finger around her entrance, her back arched so suddenly that her shoulder popped.

“So why didn’t you?”

His finger swirled again. “Why didn’t I what?”

Rey slapped at his shoulder then gripped it as a tremor shook her body. “You could have taken it off yourself.”

Kylo bent down to suck on her earlobe. “I knew you were going to help me with it.”

She gasped in affront. “You’re terrible.”

He leaned back on his elbow and looked at her in disbelief. Scoffed. “Of course I am.”

Rey had something very intelligent and witty to say to that, but when he pulled his hand out of her pants, brought it to his mouth, and licked the very finger that was wet from her own body, all of the words fled from her brain. His teeth snagged the glove and pulled it off his hand, finger by finger, then tossed it away.

“Little Jedi,” he rumbled. “You seem to be forgetting.” His bare hand pushed back down into her pants. Fingers played with her, rubbed her, rolled her flesh between thumb and forefinger. She writhed beneath him, her nails digging into the layers of fabric on his back and shoulders.

“I am Kylo Ren,” he said into her ear. His finger dipped inside her and she moaned. “I am the Supreme Leader of the First Order.” He pushed deeper and withdrew. She clutched him tighter as his blunt finger moved in and out, again and again. “I am one with the Dark Side.” Another finger joined the first. They stretched her, filled her, pushed her to the edge of some joyous cliff. “I’m more than terrible.” His thumb rubbed her clitoris and a wail ripped from her lungs.

He rose above her and pinned her eyes with his. “I’m evil.”

What a dick.

Everything she had learned thus far; the training, the dreams, the lessons on Ahch-To, all clamored within her. There was only one response a true Jedi could give to such a statement by someone so consumed by the dark side.

“Get inside me,” she panted.

That wasn’t it, but frankly, she couldn’t care less.

Kylo raised his eyebrows.

“No,” he said.

Rey prepared to assault him with a full barrage of curses, but he waved a hand and her clothes unraveled and scattered. She was completely naked in front of a man who looked ready to consume her. And she had never been more turned on in her life.

Kylo trembled with some hidden effort. His eyes roamed over her as if he was etching the vision into his mind, focusing longer on her breasts. Her nipples puckered under the intensity of his expression. The air left him in a choked wheeze as he watched. He looked down at his hand, at the fingers that filled her, and wheezed again.

“You’ll undo me,” he groaned.

“Good,” Rey said in a whimper.

And then he dove down and covered her clit with his mouth.

Sensation spiraled through her with every flick of his tongue and every unrelenting push of his fingers. He reached up and toyed with her nipple, cupped her breast, dragged his fingers over her ribs. She could feel the cliff approaching swiftly and curled her hands through his hair. He groaned against her and the thrum of his voice pushed her into the void.

She threw her head back as her hips bucked but he didn’t stop, his groans simply came faster.  When it was over, she had to glance down and make sure she hadn’t transformed into a quivering puddle.

Kylo lifted his head and looked at her in amazement. His lips glistened and the knowledge that the moisture was all from her made her shudder.

“I felt it,” he said. “Just the edge, but...I felt you come.” His voice was laced with wonder.

Before, when she had touched his mind, she had opened the door to her thoughts just a crack, letting him peek through. It must have happened again. He’d seen the riot in her body. Rey gave him a spacey smile.

He pulled his fingers from her and growled. “You’re so damn wet.”

“Are you going to do something about it, your evilness?” It would have been more suave if she hadn’t stopped in the middle to catch her breath.

She helped him as he tugged with his clothes, pulling the closures open with flicks of the Force until he was just as bare as she. Her hands couldn’t stop touching him. They traced over the lines of muscle on his broad shoulders and dragged down the ripples of his chest and stomach.

He braced himself above her. The sheer size of him was astounding. His body blocked out the flickering light until all she could see was the glistening sheen of his sweat, smell the heady scent of man and lust, feel his breath hesitant on her skin.

“You could still push me away,” he whispered.

Rey shook her head. She wanted him to lose control with her.

“If you’re so evil,” she said, “why did you stop earlier?”

He nuzzled her neck. “When I was fucking your mouth, you mean?”

She didn’t think it possible, but it felt like she grew wetter. “Yes, then.”

Kylo lifted his head and looked at her, black eyes drifting over her face, his expression serious.

“I may tease you, and toy with you, but I would never want to be the cause of your pain. Or your fear.”

There was only one response to this, and she knew it was the correct one.

“Get inside me, _now_.”

He obliged.

They moaned into each other’s mouths as he glided in and out of her. Every motion sent a ripple of ecstasy throughout her, so heady and thick she could practically ride it.

“Join me,” he rasped into her ear.

She looked down to where their bodies met and blinked rapidly in a show of mock innocence. “But I am.”

“You know what I mean.”

She let out a little sigh. “I won’t. I can’t.”

“We can rule together. Everything. Join me.” He moved within her in slow, languorous thrusts, filling, stretching, igniting little fires under her skin and throughout her body.

“It’s not going to work, whatever plan you’re...planning. You can’t make me do it.”

“I can make you do quite a lot.” His lips quirked into a devious smirk.

“No,” she began, but her voice ended on a squeak as he pushed deep into her. And then he eased himself out. And stayed out.

She didn’t know how much she could want him back inside. There was an emptiness now, a nothingness, where before there had been warmth and movement and a feeling of being gloriously filled.

Rey reached down to fix this atrocity, but there was a twinge in the air and invisible shackles closed around her wrists and pinned them over her head. Kylo’s smirk spread.

_You womp rat bastard._

His large fingers traced lines over her stomach. Her hips, the traitors, tilted up to him, silently pleading.

She mewled in frustration. It was almost shameful how pathetic it sounded to her own ears. But he just stared at her, black eyes and heavy lids.

“Please.” Her voice cracked and ended as a whimper.

He reached down and nudged at her soaked self with the tip of his cock.

“I can make you beg,” he said, devious smirk tilting with a heavy dose of self-satisfaction, and then shoved deep inside of her.

She let out a quavering cry. He worked in her hard, the muscles in his arms straining and flexing. She longed run her hands over him, to feel his strength, to wrap around him and urge him on, but her wrists stayed pinned. He angled his hips and drove deeper. Another cry, lewd and keening, burst from her throat.

Kylo slowed and chuckled against her skin. “I can make you scream.”

 _Evil man_.

She clenched the muscles around his cock, and his breath came in a choked gasp. She smiled sweetly up at him. A little bit of revenge was never out of place. But then he leaned down and bit her neck, and she lost all sense of fairness.

Leaning back, he looked her right in the eyes. “I can make you come.”

“You already--” Rey broke off as the little cluster of nerves in her clitoris fired. Her head lolled back, then snapped up. She could feel him reaching out...with his mind. She stared at him open-mouthed. If his smirk had been devious before, it had now crossed over into downright wicked. He wiggled both sets of fingers like a magician before a trick. _Look, no hands._ The nerves lit up again, sizzling her limbs.

This was wrong. This was so very, very wrong. The Force was lightness and darkness. It was the unending cracks in the universe and the unbreakable cord that held those cracks together. It was life. It was death.

It was not for diddling one’s nemesis.

_But...oh._

Tremors shot through her body. With every pulse of sensation, she clenched and writhed. He was focused on other things at the moment, so when she wrenched her arms down, the bonds snapped like they were made out of brittle candy. Her hands scrabbled at his massive shoulders as her shuddering body pressed against his and she wrapped her legs around him, heels digging into his buttocks. He kept moving inside her, painfully slowly, each thrust pushing her closer and closer to that delicious precipice. Their sweat-slicked bodies glided smoothly against each other.

She was almost there; she could feel every nerve crack and fizzle. This time she flung the door of her mind wide and welcomed him in. His hand drifted down and his thumb flicked at her gently, then pressed against that clamoring bud of nerves. That was all it took. The universe reared up over her like a wave and then crashed down, driving pleasure through every inch of skin and bone. The words that left her mouth were no longer words, they were primal shrieks and screams that ricocheted through the air. His own groans rose up and met hers as his hips pistoned furiously into her, fast and hard and bruising.

“Are you on a preventative?”

She hardly heard his grunted words, and when he repeated them, her mind was incapable of processing them.

“What?”

“A prophylactic. Something to--ngh.” The sentence ended on a groan of frustration and something that sounded like, ‘never mind.’

There was a moment after he withdrew that she felt the need for more, but then his own wave of orgasm buffeted her further; his rush of pleasure, his shout, and his tremors were hers as well.

“Rey.” His voice seemed to echo in her head, muffled and distant.

“Rey,” he said again.

Her eyelids felt like they weighed a thousand pounds, but she opened them anyway.

“We should get down,” Kylo said.

One of her hands reached up to push hair off her face but it only made it to her chest before going limp. Sex had never been like this before. Every other time, she had always been able to leap from the bed (or towel, or rear seat of a speeder) with her limbs fully functional and a believable, articulate excuse about why she needed to leave suddenly.

“Why get down when we already got off?” She giggled.

Kylo frowned. “That makes no sense. ”

Rey looked around through the fog swarming her body, and his words clicked into place.

They were floating.

Only a few feet above the metal floor, but still, floating. So were the clothes, the lightsabers, and Snoke’s throne.

“Oh,” Rey said. With a little focus--which was more difficult than she expected--they drifted back to the floor, with Kylo beneath her. She lay there, her head on his chest, and listened to him breathe. Her gaze roamed around the room. The fires along the wall had blown themselves out into flickering embers. Clothing lay in a pile, light and dark draped over and around and inside one another. Kylo’s heart was a steady thrum under her ear.

What was this? Was she experiencing...peace? With Kylo Ren, the self-proclaimed villain who had helped destroy most of the Rebellion, who had killed his own father, and who was now absentmindedly twirling a lock of her hair around his finger?

Kylo’s head jerked up without warning. “Someone’s coming. We can’t be found like this.”

“Naked and sweaty and tangled up?” she murmured against his skin. He was so warm. Her tongue darted out to taste the sweat on his chest.

“No,” Kylo groaned around gritted teeth and rolled out from under her. The moment her skin made contact with the chilled floor she snapped back into reality. When she looked up, Kylo was fastening his lightsaber onto his belt, already fully dressed. He waved his hands and her clothes snaked up her body and secured themselves.

“Go,” he said.

They paused for a minute before throwing their bodies at each other, lips frantically grappling and hands boldly squeezing.

“Go!” Kylo said again and this time Rey listened. She sprinted from the room as she tried to ignore the tug seeking to pull her back. The homing device on her wrist flashed and she bolted to the docking bay. Footfalls clattered behind her and shouts rose up from the destroyed throne room.

Soon enough, she was back on the Falcon. Her pulse throbbed with more than the excitement from the narrow escape.

 _Until next time_.

His voice trickled into her head and she straightened.

 _Next time?_ she sent back.

An image flashed into her head. Kylo’s fingers digging into her hips, her palms pressed against a control panel, his breath hot on her neck, teeth nipping her shoulder.

She let out a quiet cry.

Chewie bellowed at her, but she waved him off.

“I’m fine,” she said to him. “I...I must have bruised something.” She rotated her wrist in front of him for show.

Chewie turned back to the controls as Rey settled into her chair with a grin. Who said long-distance relationships were boring?

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I know--there’s nothing here to explain Luke’s broken lightsaber or all of the other bits and pieces of the movie that don’t mesh with this star-porn. But...maybe you could suspend your disbelief for a moment? I mean, suspend it more? No, even more. Keep suspending. There you go.
> 
> Huzzah!


	2. In Which the Force is Again Used Inappropriately

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It wasn’t a very nice asteroid, Kylo Ren decided. It could do with a few more pockets and nooks to hide fell space-beasts. But it would work for what they needed.

Kylo Ren was in a mood.

He was always in a mood, really, but this one irritated him more than the rest. His leather gloves creaked as he gripped the back of an empty console chair, eliciting several worried glances from various inconsequential drones. The current mood ranked slightly worse than “having to talk to Hux”, but still better than “being called ‘a child in a mask’ by someone wearing a glittering robe."

It had been two weeks since Rey had run from the throne room. Two weeks since he had fought a hologram on a wonderfully-colored salt planet, let the entire Rebellion get away, and made some promise about ‘destroying’ Rey. Had to keep up appearances, and all that. He couldn’t slip up and let anyone--from either side--know that while Rey had been in the _Supremacy_ , he had been in her.

He groaned at the memories that trickled through him: the feel of her strong legs around him, her sounds, her smells, the way she scrunched her nose and bit her lip, how her breasts seemed like they had been perfectly sized for his hands (or maybe it was that his hands had been perfectly sized for her breasts).

The chair creaked in alarm as his grip tightened.

They could--and had--visited each other in dreams and in thoughts, yet Snoke’s death had put a halt to any skin-to-skin contact via the Force. The former Supreme Leader might have been a deformed man in a glittering robe, but he had been a _powerful_ deformed man in a glittering robe. As they were no longer in the same room and aided by proximity, Kylo had to satisfy himself with just speaking to and watching his lovely nemesis. It wasn’t the same, though. As much as it thrilled him to order Rey to touch herself and make herself come, and then send her all sorts of images about what he wanted do to her once she finished, it wasn’t _enough_. Not nearly.

Therefore, Kylo Ren was in a mood of extreme, painful, infuriating sexual frustration.

“Supreme Leader…” The voice punctured his thoughts like a spike hitting a gas tank.

“WHAT?” he roared. The back of the chair snapped in half. Kylo whirled around to bite the head off of whoever decided to bother him when he so obviously had his “Don’t You Fucking Bother Me” glower pasted onto his face.

Of course.

Fucking Hux.

Kylo set his glower to ‘stun.’

Hux shook a little, as if Ren was a wolf and Hux was a rabbit in a First Order uniform.

“Supreme Leader,” Hux started again. “Your, er, battle plans are here.” He held out a flat case and jumped when Kylo snatched it from him.

His plans. What glorious, wonderful plans they were. He smoothed a glove over the sleek metal. Hux sniffed beside him.

“I hope they will prove useful,” Hux said, obviously curious why this case required such security.

“They will,” Kylo snarled. He made sure that his cape smacked Hux in the crotch when he whirled around to stomp in the direction of his chambers.

Only when he had sealed the door and locked it behind him did he open the case.

The smell of fresh electronics rose to his nose. A single sheet of holo-film lay at the bottom, made rigid by a metal frame. He lifted it and turned it on. Passages of text appeared on the thin surface and he read it voraciously.

He had called them ‘battle plans.’ It wasn’t a complete lie.

When he and Rey had been together, most of what he had done correctly he had done purely by chance and surreptitiously scanning her thoughts. Kylo had no opportunity to explore the mysteries of womanhood in his Jedi training with Luke, and after the joining the First Order, he was too busy trying to impress Snoke and disappoint his parents. He’d passed by living quarters that emanated certain sounds in the evening, and one of the Stormtroopers had once left a tantalizing magazine on a table that Kylo had hidden under his robes and poured over in his bed, but when it came to the physical act itself, he had discovered that there was much to learn.

After the majority of repairs had begun on the _Supremacy_ , he had sent an expendable Stormtrooper on a mission to Forex-9--a notoriously rowdy planet famous for its texts. Not texts that discussed battle strategies and leadership methods, but texts that discussed what exactly a ‘labia minora’ was, and how to use it to one’s best advantage. Some of the texts he’d received didn’t use the exact anatomical descriptions, but Kylo was positive that he could interpret some of the more flowery language. ‘Throbbing, turgid warrior’ could only describe so many things, as could ‘glistening petals of womanhood.’

Still, he was learning. Combined with the information he gleaned when he watched Rey pleasure herself, he had plenty of ideas for next time.

His head tilted back and he closed his eyes. _Next time_ , he had told her. His body thrummed with anticipation. Next time, he would be slow. He would be deliberate. He would kiss every inch of her skin, relish the sun-warmed taste of it, then lie her back on the soft tufts of grass and make her come until she couldn’t stand up. She would cry his name to the clouds as they coupled and moved together underneath the bluest of skies, and their hearts would pound as one rhythm, one soul, one--

A circulating fan kicked on with a tinny whirr.

Kylo blinked rapidly as the sound drew him back from the sun-dappled meadow and into his own dark, metallic chambers. A red light pulsed in the lamp by his bed. His hands still gripped the holo-film, though they trembled.

Well now, that was strange.

The fantasy was a new one. And not one that should be in the mind of a leader of the Dark Side. Hearts, and souls...Kylo scoffed.

No. What a load of nonsense. He glanced at the holo-film in his hands.

_Probably should cut back on the texts._

Rey’s voice filtered into his mind, as soft and alluring as a finger trailing down his spine.

 _What texts_? she asked.

Kylo jerked upright. Shit, he hadn’t meant to think so loudly.

 _Nothing,_ he sent back and tossed the holo-film away, in case she was peeking in on him. It spun across the floor and thunked to a stop somewhere underneath his bed.

 _You’re lying._ He could hear her tinkling laugh and gritted his teeth against a wave of arousal. Kylo would give anything to hear that laugh in person, to feel her soft breath against his skin. He growled low in his throat as his cock pulsed. It had been at the ready from the moment he had received the holo-film, and now it strained against his pants, desperately seeking her. Tension locked his limbs.

 _I need to see you._ The thought escaped from him before he could hold it back.

 _You can see me right now, if you wanted._ From the purr in her words, he was almost certain that she would be naked. He pushed away her images even as his cock twitched in frustration.

 _No_ . _In person._

Her silence struck a sudden anxiety in him. What if she didn’t want to meet? Was this all she required--a series of stimulating exchanges? A bodiless complement to her own desires?

Her voice pushed into his mind. _Where?_

Relief flooded through him instantly.

 _I don’t know,_ he sent. _Anywhere. A closet, or a deserted hallway, or a--_

_An asteroid?_

_Sure._

Coordinates filtered into him and he scrambled to type them on a screen. An image popped up of an asteroid belt halfway between the planets Ynnr and Aenora-20, and one lump of rock was highlighted. Large enough to have its own gravity but small enough to be insignificant if anyone cared to look for them. Perfect.

_When?_

_Now?_ He hoped he didn’t sound too desperate. Supreme Leader Kylo Ren, bent into a quivering husk of a man because of a little scavenger. And the little scavenger’s body. And her voice. And her lips. Both sets of lips. Which probably could be grouped with her body, but he felt that they needed extra mentioning. And why wasn’t she responding?

Finally, her voice came through. _If I get a ship that can jump to lightspeed, I can make it in half a hour._

_Done._

_Done._ He could tell she was smiling. Lightning coursed through his bloodstream.

Now, to get rid of his erection long enough to get to the bay and board a ship.

 

#

 

It wasn’t a very nice asteroid, Kylo Ren decided. It could do with a few more pockets and nooks to hide fell space-beasts. But it would work for what they needed.

Hux had been suspicious when he was told that the Supreme Leader would be gone from the ship. It was to test out the new techniques, Kylo had said. What use was a manual if you couldn’t try it first? He left without waiting for Hux to stammer something about protocol, or how traditionally the most important person in their empire wasn’t supposed to fly off to who-knows-where to practice who-knows-what.

He angled the controls of his TIE fighter and began his descent. Engines whined as it lowered onto the rocky surface. Landing protocols engaged, switches flipped, and comms disconnected. The engines dropped to a soft murmur and then cut completely. It seemed far too quiet. Quiet and empty. Her ship was nowhere to be seen.

Kylo’s stomach cramped and his palms felt damp. There seemed to be too much saliva in his mouth and when he tried to swallow, his throat locked.

What the hell was happening to him? Hux must have put some poison in the air supply. Or had poisoned him before he had left. Dammit, Hux. The creature had the absolute _worst_ timing.

 _Almost there._ At the sound of her voice, he relaxed and every cramping, sweating sensation fled.

Kylo frowned.

Not poison.

Nerves.

The ruler of the galaxy was _nervous._ To meet a _girl_. He frowned more deeply.

Then he saw her, drifting through the black and the stars in some boxy, outdated transport shuttle. It landed directly beside his as if it was the finest piece of machinery.

 _Show-off_ , he sent to her.

He felt her modest shrug. _Your place or mine?_ she asked.

Kylo glanced around at his ship. Everything was shining and chrome and black expressionless surfaces.

 _Yours_ , he said.

The oxygen mask felt much more vulnerable than his helmet. His former headpiece’s confining pressure had meant detachment, and security, and peace. No one could read your feelings if they couldn’t see your face. The wide sheet of clear material was hardly an adequate replacement, and he was more than happy to remove it once her shuttle’s airlock decompressed.

The door opened to the single-roomed shuttle, dimly lit and cozy. The walls were made of rows of rusty cabinets. Twin seats faced an arced console and a wide window, through which he could see the grey rubble of the asteroid and the twinkle of stars.

And there she stood.

His breath caught and he cursed himself for it. She excelled at surprising him, even though she looked the same. Loose hair, dishevelled tunic, unlaced boots. She had forgotten her arm wraps. The muscles of her shoulders tensed underneath a smear of grease.

When he met her eyes, his nervousness trickled back. Those lovely eyes were wide and startled. Her hands fidgeted at the sashes by her sides and she worried her bottom lip with her teeth. He didn’t have to touch her to know that her pulse fluttered like that of a cornered bird. Who was she seeing? The monster who allowed the murder of billions? The tortured son of two of her heroes? Or the man that had licked her into orgasm and then fucked her until she couldn't think straight?

Kylo took a hesitant step forward. “You aren’t...scared of me, are you?” He shouldn’t have asked. He couldn’t bear to hear it if she was.

Rey must have heard the pinch in his voice.

“No, no,” she said hurriedly. “Of course not. I just forgot how, er...large...you are.”

He stepped closer with a wolfish smirk, all anxieties behind him. “You seemed to be happy with my size last time.”

She let out a yip of laughter and quickly swallowed it behind the back of her wrist. A blush spread over her cheeks and down her neck. Kylo fought a smile. After all they had done together in the throne room, and all they had seen of each other after that day and all they had done in the weeks after, had he...embarrassed her? It was adorable. He had never used the word in a thought before; there had never been the opportunity. But in this situation, it fit just right. Here was a woman who fought like a spitfire, who had wrestled power to the ground and dominated it, who had welcomed him between her legs with the greed of a vulptex fox in heat, and who was embarrassed by a dick joke.

Adorable.

Rey cleared her throat. “I meant the size of your body,” she said. They were standing close enough that she had to tilt her head to look up at him. “You didn’t seem so imposing when we were...horizontal.” Her words came out in a breathy rush as her cheeks turned a darker pink.

Blood rushed to his groin, almost making him dizzy. His gaze locked onto her mouth: her soft lips, her white teeth, her tongue that darted out to moisten her lower lip. A wave of lightheadedness passed over him as more blood traveled south. Everything in him clamored for him to take her mouth under his, to grasp her body and press it against him, to tear off her clothes and have his way with her ferociously on the shuttle floor.

The promise he made to himself rung out in his thoughts. _Slow, deliberate._

He pulled off his gloves and let them drop to the floor. A frown tugged at her mouth for a second before disappearing.

“Did you want me to keep them on?”

“N-no,” she said. But she licked her lips again and her brown-green eyes drifted to the gloves.

“Your thoughts betray you.”

Kylo didn’t want them on, though. After two weeks of waiting and wanting, he needed to touch her skin and _feel_ it.

He reached for her hand and took it in his own. Fingers danced along her thumb and the light pulse at her wrist, brushing the calluses on her palm and tracing the delicate veins around her knuckles. Their breathing was soft. He could hardly hear it above the low drone of the air supply. His hand spread and opened hers, so they were palm to palm. A continuation of their first touch in a hut on an island. Like he had in that moment, he marveled at the difference in their sizes. His blunt fingers closed around her small, nimble hand and she sucked in a breath.

“I wasn’t sure you wanted to meet me again,” he murmured.

Her brows creased. “Why wouldn’t I?”

He took her other hand and started to perform the same ministrations. “I’m the new Supreme Leader. I represent everything you hate.”

“Yes, but you’re also…” Her sentence drifted off as she narrowed her eyes in thought.

“Tall?” Kylo offered.

Rey scoffed.

“Handsome? Muscular?” He kissed the back of her hand. “Well-endowed?” Winking didn’t come easily to him, and his attempt at it made her laugh. Ah, that laugh. It quieted his nerves and spurred his heartbeat all at once. He was so wrapped up in trying to figure out why the hell he was thinking in impossible metaphors that he almost missed her whispered word.

“Mine.”

Kylo blinked. She thought of him as...hers. As belonging to her. He should have been appalled. Furious. Livid that any person could think they _owned_ him.

Instead, he captured her hair and crushed her lips under his. Desire overwhelmed him in a rush. It burned his skin, singed his veins, took over his mind and his body. His tongue snaked into her mouth and his other hand pressed against the round curve of her ass. Rey moaned into his mouth, grabbing at his chest as he walked her backwards until she was pushed up to the wall. He ground his hips into hers and with every movement he could feel the heat of her through their clothes.

With a snarl, he lifted her off the floor and pinned her, hooked his hands under her thighs and spread her legs so they wrapped around him. Breathy whimpers burst from her as he angled his hips so his erection rubbed at her core.

“Wait,” Rey gasped.

Kylo grunted in displeasure, but stilled his motions and lifted his head.

“I had...I had something else in mind.” Her eyes were glassy and her lips wet and flushed. “Here, let me down, just...oh, ah.”

He eased her down, though that last jerk of his hips had been completely involuntary. At least that’s what he told himself.

Rey tucked a lock of mussed hair behind her ear.

“You made me beg last time,” she said.

“I remember.” Oh, how he remembered. He dreamed of it nightly. And sometimes when he napped. And sometimes when he stood at the helm of the _Supremacy_ and stared into the void of space.

“I want to hear it from you.”

The truth was that he _had_ begged. He’d said ‘please’ more than once, and meant it. But he kept the memory to himself. This little game intrigued him.

Kylo raised an eyebrow. He opened his mouth to tell her how hard she would have to work for it, but she raised a hand and pushed him against the opposite wall. He tried to move his arms, but they were pinned at his sides.

Rey flexed her fingers and a blanket flew out of a cabinet and arranged itself on the floor. She flexed again, and Kylo found himself following the path of the blanket.

His instincts told him to fight back. He was lying at the feet of his enemy, immobilized and helpless, forced to into stillness as she literally undressed him with her thoughts. It was an entirely new sensation, this vulnerability, and he realized that it wasn’t an unpleasant one.

Clothes unfastened and unzipped and slithered to the floor around him. He was naked soon enough, and intensely aware of every patch of skin under her roaming gaze. Wherever she looked, goosebumps followed.

She straddled his legs and sunk to her knees, then smiled at him. A sly smile, a thoughtful smile. It made his chest seize. And when she dipped her head down to lick his cock, it made everything else seize. She felt amazing. The wet heat of her tongue enveloped him as she pulled him in and sucked, and he didn’t think he could say a word if he tried. She looked up at him while his cock pulsed in her mouth, her cheeks hollowing, tongue flicking against the tip, and a weak groan escaped his throat. His hips tried to jerk up, to push himself farther inside, but her will was too strong. He wasn’t going anywhere.

Her small hand cupped his testicles and stroked the inside of his thigh and he was almost there; he could feel the tingle in his balls and the tensing of his muscles and--

And then she stopped.

Kylo let out a bellow of frustration and bared his teeth at her. Rey wiped her mouth on a corner of her wraps and gave him a coy bat of her eyelashes.

“Say it.”

“No.” He wouldn’t let himself give in. He couldn’t.

Her head dipped and she welcomed him back into her mouth, pushed his cock to the back of her throat, moaned around the head until he nearly reached his climax...and stopped. Again.

“Jedi witch!”

“Say it.”

“...No.”

His pride as Kylo Ren kept him from saying the word. Even through the ache in his groin. Even as she pulled off her clothes and dropped them to the floor. Even as she stood at his shoulders, staring down at him and smiling, and then dropping to her knees to straddle his face, inches from his mouth. Even as she hovered over him and he could see the glistening proof of her own arousal.

“Say it.” It was obvious that she wanted this almost as much as he did. She was teasing herself as much as she was teasing him. Her breath hitched, her skin glowed a rosy pink, her legs trembled.

“No.”

He wrenched his arms against her invisible bonds, but they held fast. What he would give to reach up and clamp her hips, direct her where he wanted. As much as he hated to admit it, Rey was the stronger one, and she had him in her grasp. She dipped so that she was inches from his mouth, paused, and then pulled away.

Kylo bit back a curse.

“Say it,” she whispered as her hips strayed lower once more.

“No.”

She pursed her lips in a pout and lifted out of his reach.

Her will held him to the floor, yet...nothing was holding on to her. Kylo reached into the void and the universe and found her body, and with one swift motion, pulled her down to him.

Her surprised yelp quickly turned into a moan as he licked and sucked at her, twirling his tongue around the ridges of sensitive flesh. Her hips bucked and she started to ride his mouth. Fingers twined into his hair and gripped his head as she used him for her own pleasure. His nose pressed into her soft curls and he breathed in the scent of her. Kylo peeked into her mind as he knew she had been doing to him and when he saw the wave of her climax approaching, he grabbed her body with the Force and lifted her from his face. She hovered on her knees, gasping and panting and glaring at him.

One of his eyebrows lifted and he wiggled a shoulder in an attempted shrug. _Fair’s fair_.

When she lurched to her feet, he had the sudden thought that perhaps she would leave him like this, pinned to the floor of a transport shuttle like a bug on a collector’s board, hers to do with whatever she liked. At the moment, a good percentage of him wouldn’t mind.

But she stepped around him and straddled his head once more, so she faced his toes.

“Say it.”

Pride and lust battled viciously for a long moment.

“No.”

And then she was lowering herself back onto his face. Oh stars, she was so wet. The salty taste of her was all through his mouth. He sucked on her clit, tongued her pussy, relished each jerking shudder. A sudden heat on his cock made him pause, but before he could be properly surprised, she had closed her mouth around him.

No feeling had ever been like this. Nowhere in his imagination did he ever think that pleasure could be like this.

Pride be damned, he wanted to feel the wetness of her orgasm against his mouth. He sucked her clit past his lips and rapidly flicked his tongue over it. Her moans grew faster and higher and every time she made a noise, the vibrations traveled up his dick to his stomach and his spine. She was nearly there, he could see it in her mind. He sucked harder. And then she shattered, releasing his cock, screaming into the air. Heat spiraled through his balls, and as he pushed deeper into her mind, he rode the surge of her orgasm, feeling the tingling ecstacy come closer and closer.

“Oh don’t you dare!” she shouted and even as he reached in to pull out the last crumbs of her pleasure, he bounced off of the walls suddenly erected around her thoughts.

Kylo fell backwards from the precipice, defeated once more.

“Say it!”

“Nrggh,” he growled against her pussy.

“Oh, sorry,” she panted and lifted off of him. The cool air brushed against the moisture on his mouth and he realized with a shock how obscenely wet she had become. From him. For him.

His frustration mounted, so harsh and violent that it could destroy entire star systems.

Fine.

“Please,” he rasped.

Rey stepped away from him to the middle of the shuttle and waved her hand.

It took a second for him to move, to realize that he could move. He lifted his arms slowly, tentatively. He was free. Free, with an erection that could probably punch through metal.

Rey looked at him with an odd expression on her face: part anticipation, part lust, part doe suddenly finding herself in a locked room with a ravenous beast.

Kylo felt like a ravenous beast. In a smooth motion, he rolled to a crouch on the balls of his feet, then rose and stalked towards her. She backed away, but a little smile of delight plucked at her lips. She wanted to be caught.

He lunged for her and pinned her against the console chair, ravishing her mouth. His hands roamed over her and took in the softness of her skin, the calluses and the puckered scars, her pebbled nipples and the soaked curls between her thighs, the lush mounds of her ass, the soft hair damp against the sweat of her neck. She writhed and wriggled against him and let out little gasps and moans.

If he waited any longer to get inside her, he would probably explode.

He spun her around and bent her over the chair, one hand pressing her down and the other rubbing his cock against her slippery entrance. Her wanton cry of ‘yes’ was all he needed.

He pushed into her and began to pound into her drenched, tight body. With a hand wrapping around her hair, he reined her in as he rode her. Throaty moans rushed out of her in rhythm to his thrusts.

The reflection in the window was better than any holo. He watched her, bent before him, her brow creased, mouth open, hands gripping the arms of the chair, her whole body moving as he railed her from behind.

Something raw and primal rose up in him then and urged him to claim her, to mark her. He bent to the soft skin where her shoulder met her neck and bit down. Hard. She screamed and he paused for a brief moment before realizing it was not a scream of pain. The walls of her pussy clenched around him and she shuddered. He moved to do the same to her other shoulder and when his teeth grazed her skin, her words bounced off the shuttle walls and slammed into his ears.

“Oh, Ben, yes!”

Kylo froze, skin prickling.

“What did you say?” He looked up and their gazes met in the window’s reflection. Her eyes were wide, her lips parted, her face paling.

“What did you call me?” His voice was as flat and cold as a lake on Hoth.

“Ben.” It came out as a whisper.

He eased out and then pushed deep into her.

“Say it again.”

“Ben.”

He started to thrust again, the prickles under his skin heating and sending sparks rocketing through his limbs.

“Again.”

“Ben.”

Every time she said the name, for that one second, all of the pain and the sadness and fear scattered. He was not a ruler or a murderer or a savior. He was just... _him._ Ben. Just Ben.

And the lover of ‘just Ben’ was about to come like a freighter.

With a palm against her throat, he pulled her upright so their eyes met once more in the reflection. He cupped her breast, then reached out and sent tendrils of the Force twining about to flick at her nipples, strum the nerves of her clitoris, toy with her mouth. He licked and then nipped the back of her neck. With that last touch, her eyes scrunched shut and he felt her shudder and spasm, her cries coming fast and loud, her pussy clenching around him as she drenched him with her orgasm. Her tremors surged through his mind and his body He was close, so dammingly close.

“Are you...are you taking...” he panted. Why couldn’t he ever think of asking her about child prevention in advance? Bad move, Ren.

“Are you on...a...on a pro--” He felt it as she reached into his mind and plucked out the rest of the sentence.

 _Yes,_ she said in his thoughts.

“Could I...is it all right if I…”

She did it again.

_Yes. Oh, yes._

Thank the stars.

His hips pistoned in a jerky staccato as the fiery tingle curled in his balls and shot through his shaft. He shouted her name as he came, still thrusting, curling around her, taking her to the blanket with him. They lay there, both panting and gasping as if they had sprinted for miles.

Silence grew in the shuttle as sweat cooled and dried. Their bodies stretched alongside one another, touching from shoulders to toes.

So much for slow and deliberate.

“That was good,” Rey said with a lazy smile.

“Nothing floated,” Kylo said, looking around in disappointment.

“That’s also good. This shuttle is delicate enough as it is...oh, are you...are you _serious_ ?” She looked at him in disbelief. “You think that the ship not floating itself apart means that _that_ sex was inadequate?”

“I suppose not,” he said slowly.

“If things float every time we have sex, we’re bound to eventually space ourselves or end up crushed underneath something.” She patted his shoulder, then squeezed, then ran her hand down his arm appraisingly and made a little “mmm,” as if she approved of what she found. Not moving her hand, she closed her eyes and let out a little contented sigh.

A bubble of pleasure burst in Kylo’s chest. ‘Every time’ and ‘eventually’ meant that she wanted more. She wanted to keep doing this, whatever _this_ was.

The flush in Rey’s face was fading, though pink splotches still showed on her chest. She had a small mole along her ribcage and Kylo fought the urge to press his lips to it. Her breathing was slow and even and her lashes lay against her cheeks. He’d never noticed, but a small scar raked over her eyebrow. What was it from? An accident from her days of scavenging? Or had someone done it to her intentionally? Anger simmered inside him. If it had been intentional, he wanted to throttle whoever dared to injure her.

A thought came upon him that perhaps that someone had been him. They had fought more than once, after all. He absently traced the scar on his face. Was it strange that he liked having it?

Yes, he thought, yes it was.

Kylo shook his head and almost laughed at himself. Damned hypocrite.

He brought his focus back to Rey. The skin on her neck nearly undid him. It was softer than silk and warm as sunshine. His fingers trailed along her jaw to her chin. It could have such a stubborn set to it, but--

“What are you doing?”

He jumped at her words and snatched his hand back as if he had been caught stealing.

“Nothing,” he said.

She looked at him with narrowed eyes and a crease on her forehead.

Kylo cleared his throat. “You said you were taking something for child prevention?”

Rey nodded and shifted against him. “Anamenses root, since last time.”

“Probably for the best.”

She snorted and threw an arm behind her head. “Could you even imagine?”

But that was the thing. He could. He could imagine her with the smallest swell, and then heavy and round, her swollen belly making her waddle. He could imagine her dropping things and, after trying in vain to pick them up, using the Force to throw them into her hands or sending them flying to a wall in frustration. He could imagine how, later, he would massage the stress from her shoulders and the pain from her feet. The images flowed through his mind’s eye so smoothly it alarmed him. This would not be his life. Their life. Such domestic bliss would never exist for them.

His clothes chirruped, interrupting his thoughts, and he reached for the time-teller within.

He let out a groan when he saw the numbers. “I have to leave.”

Rey pushed herself to her elbows. “What? Why?”

Kylo sat up. His body felt like it had been tossed through hyperspace with no protection but an oxygen mask. He ran a hand through his hair and coaxed the largest tangles from it.

“Saying I would be gone any longer would have raised suspicions. And...I may have told Hux that if I wasn’t back in a few hours, he could be the new Supreme Leader.”

Rey let out a bark of laughter. “You didn’t!”

One side of his mouth twitched. Then the other.

She gaped at him.

“Did you just...was that a _joke_?”

“You’ll never be able to prove it.” He forced his face into a mask of indifference.

“It was! I can’t believe my ears!”  Tilting her head back, she let out a ringing laugh that flashed her teeth and crinkled her eyes.

“I can’t believe your ears either,” he said as he bent and nibbled on one. Her giggle dissolved into a breathy gasp.

There was enough time, he thought as he lay her on the blanket and kissed the gasps from her lips. Enough time for slow and deliberate.

The time-teller chirruped again.

Kylo’s forehead fell onto her chest and he let out a sigh that lowered into a growl.

_Next time._

He helped her with her clothes, and she returned the favor. Not using the Force, like before. Her hands paused a little too long at the clasps on his pants; he let his fingers roam a little too high when he pulled up her trousers. As he secured the wraps around her shoulders he brushed a kiss against that lovely neck. She let out a little sigh of contentment and leaned into him.

Kylo would give his right hand to stay in this ancient rust bucket of a shuttle for just an hour longer. Why in the hell did say that he would come back so soon?

Ah, right. That’s why.

Fucking Hux.

 

#

 

Armitage Hux frowned into space. A scrap of debris floated past the control room window and a maintenance droid chased after it. What a waste of the First Order’s resources. It would make so much more sense to scrap the brutalized _Supremacy_ for parts and build something entirely new, something entirely distant from Snoke’s rule, his outdated sense of style, and his grotesque features.

Hux heaved a sigh. He could have the most brilliant idea in the galaxy, but no one would ever listen to him. Especially Ren.

Ren. Not ‘Supreme Leader Ren.’ Hux couldn’t bring himself to say the words all together, and even thinking about saying them left a bitter taste in his mouth. In a just and fair universe, a man like Ren would not be the leader of anything; he would be a servant in a chancellor’s estate, a bartender on a backwater moon, or a peasant whose only paying job was removing animal waste from the streets.

Hux’s lip curled up in a smirk as he imagined the mighty, pompous man brought to his knees into a gooey puddle of kebler dung.

A call from one of the comm operators cut short his fantasies.

“General Hux, sir, I have request for communication.”

 _Excellent._ That would be the pilot.

“Patch him through.”

“It’ll take a minute, sir, I’ll let you know when I have audio.”

Hux sniffed.

Damn this tech. It would be replaced sooner if all of the sodding radar technicians would pull their heads out of their asses and actually _fix_ things. Damn this ship, and the damaged antennas, and...just...bloody-damn Ren.

Yet now, Ren was gone. Off the ship. Somewhere out in that inky dark mass of nothing. There was no stopping Hux if he were to say that Ren had crashed in one of his fancy maneuvers, leaving the mantle of Supreme Leader to rest on Hux’s own shoulders.

...Until Ren came back to the ship and promptly beheaded him.

Unless he _didn’t_ come back to the ship.

No, Hux dismissed that thought as soon as it began. As haughty and barbaric as Ren could be, he could still outfight any other TIE sent out to destroy him. Unfortunately.

Listen in, on the other hand…

“General Hux, I have my report, sir.” The audio crackled over the speakers and Hux gestured for an earpiece. He kicked an operator out of her chair, sunk into it, and plugged the earpiece into the auxiliary.

“Are you on the channel?” he said.

“Yes, sir, the private channel, sir.”

“Good. Continue.”

Hux listened to the pilot’s words through the device. Others on the bridge gave him curious glances, but he waved them away. It would not do to have anyone else listen in.

“Is that all?” he said after a moment.

“Yes, sir.”

“Ah.” Well, that was disappointing. “As you were, then.”

“Yes, sir.”

Hux tore off the earpiece and slumped in the chair. Worthless. All and bloody worthless. One hand raked through his hair then hastily patted it back into place.

When Ren had made that bullshit excuse about leaving, Hux couldn’t help but be suspicious. The reasoning made no sense; the excuse seemed flimsy at best. He’d coerced an expendable pilot into tailing Ren, following just far enough behind that he was invisible.

Apparently Ren had flown to an asteroid belt in the middle of nowhere. The pilot had lost him then, but managed to override the mic controls on the ship so at least he would have audio.

Nothing. Not a sound. Not even Ren’s loud breathing or the crash of a lightsaber hitting control panels.

What in the hell had he been doing? Apart from obviously not practicing battle techniques.

Someone on the bridge announced that the “Supreme Leader’s” ship was about to dock.

Hux sucked his teeth and clenched his fist.

Ren was up to something. Something that, for some desperate reason, he wanted to keep secret from the First Order.

And Hux was going to find out what it was.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What is this? PLOT?? In my PORN???
> 
> Also, it has come to my attention that Rey called him ‘Ben’ in the movie, so he probably wouldn’t have reacted in this exact way. But remember that whole thing about suspending disbelief? Yeah, keep doing that.


	3. In Which the Title of the Work is Mentioned

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Man, there’s a lot of plot in this one. But there will eventually be a lot of smut. Because, you know, balance, or something.

Rey was dreaming of Death.

Not a Force Death--that misty shroud that beckoned with promises of fulfillment and peace--but a harsher Death, an angrier Death. It dogged her steps and nipped at her heels and scratched against her temples.

 _You play with fire_ , it said in a voice that crackled like live wires. _You will get burned. You dance on glass. You will get cut._

She ran from it, faster and faster, but it swirled around her legs and made her stumble. _You drink poison, you swim in ice, you open up to the shadow and the snake and you let it inside._

It jerked her back and she fell hard on the ground. Darkness rose up above her like a churning cloud.

 _What do you think is going to happen?_ It reared back, preparing to strike, and grinned. There was no mouth to see, but she felt it--the slow stretch of splitting lips, the gnash of teeth, its excitement and its hunger.

_You know what will happen. You will--_

“No!”

Her yell tore her out of sleep and she surged upright. Every breath came in a rattling gasp and sweat beaded on her neck and chest. It took a moment for her to see her surroundings. They trickled into place around her: the worn blanket on the low cot, a pair of dusty boots kicked into a corner, her staff leaning against a wall covered in fluttering tarps, the empty tin lined with the dregs of her contraceptive tea.

No footsteps echoed outside her door and she heaved a sigh of relief that she hadn’t woken anyone. Who even knew how long it was until sunrise. Her cot creaked as she arranged herself into a comfortable sitting position and she took a slow breath, willing her heart to pull back from its galloping pace.

Then Rey felt his voice, urgent and worried.

 _What happened? Are you all right?_ He slurred a little, as if he had been fast asleep.

_I’m fine. It was a bad dream._

_Just a dream? Are you certain? I felt--_

_I’m fine. Go back to bed._ She yanked up the walls around her thoughts, but felt him shove through one of the seams.

_Do you want to talk about it?_

_No._

_Oh...all right._

And with that, silence surrounded her. She shifted on the cot and tried to empty her mind, but his disappointment and even the littlest bit of hurt clung to her like a heavy blanket.

Rey didn’t want to talk about it. What would she even say?

‘ _Let me tell you about my dream, where I get in touch with my subconscious and find out that she’s terrified of being with you, and thinks whatever we have going on will end in death. Is that what you want to hear, Ky--’_

No. She couldn’t bring herself to call him _Kylo Ren._ Not after everything they’d done. That name just reminded her of a helmet and a cowl and an uncontrolled temper. Also it was rather stupid, in her opinion. It sounded too much like ‘Kyle.’ Rey had never known anyone named ‘Kyle,’ but she was sure she wouldn’t like them.

Perhaps…

‘ _Let me tell you about my horrifying dream, Be--_ ’ Nope, that wouldn’t work either. He’d seemed to like when she’d called him Ben on the shuttle three days ago (had it already been three days?), but ‘seemed to like’ and ‘actually liked’ were two very different things.

How could she talk to him when she couldn’t even figure out what to call him? Only ‘Supreme Leader’ remained, and she would be damned if that was what she used.

‘ _Oh, yes, just...just there. Yes! Harder, Supreme Leader!’_

Rey stifled a laugh, then shook her head.

What was she supposed to be doing again?

Right. Meditating.

She shifted on the cot again and breathed deeply.

_Breathe. Just...breathe._

Luke’s words trickled viscously into her mind like that horrible green milk he so enjoyed. Rey frowned. Meditation had always been difficult for her, and that mental image made it so much worse.

She scratched an itch on her leg.

 _Breathe_.

In, out. She listened to the sounds around her. One of the tarps brushed the wall. Someone’s snore rattled from down the hallway.

The dream’s words echoed in the wind and the brush of fabric. _What do you think is going to happen?_

Nothing good, that was certain. Whatever they were doing, whatever wicked game they played, it wasn’t going to end with sunshine, a cozy home, and a pile of plump children. But it wasn’t going to disappear, either.

She had called him ‘hers.’ It had been a slip of the tongue on the shuttle, but as she thought about it, she realized that she had meant it. He was her secret, her fantasy; she had bottled up the idea of him and stashed it under a smuggler’s panel so that it was never too far away.

How long did she think she could keep him hidden?

 

#

 

It was the third meeting of the day. The first had been interrupted by a fight, the second had ended when the holo-screen shorted, and now some old fellow named Kolvin Owns was standing in front of the remaining rebellion and talking.

Rey wasn’t sure what he was talking about. She had stopped paying attention a while ago.

She focused in for a moment, just to be nice.

“--And as you can see by the particular order of these...um...of these orders,” Owns droned, “it must mean that something is happening. That there is a change of tone in what we see. Or, that is, what we are seeing is--”

Nope.

Rey drifted back into her own mind. How did this guy even get permission to speak? Looking at the edges of the room, even Leia seemed bored. Poe had fallen asleep and was drooling on the hand holding his head upright. Rose and Finn were eyeballing each other and trying to stifle their laughter.

They had been on this backwater moon for the past day and a half. It didn’t have a name yet, or if it did, they weren’t going to stay long enough to find out. The weather was comfortable at least, and the station they occupied had a roof and some tasty--if ancient--packaged food stores. Easy living for a life on the run.

The First Order always seemed to be a few steps behind, yet it didn’t seem to be a militant force obsessed with destroying the Rebellion that chased them from moon to moon. Instead, it felt as if their pursuer was a fat and lazy cat who knew it was never going to catch the mouse; it had to keep at it because that’s just what cats _did_.

The next time they talked, she would have to ask…um...

Rey pursed her lips.

Ky-Ben-lo-ren.

Several people turned to glare at her as she choked on her snort.

As if the horrendous name had called him, she felt him enter her head.

 _When can I see you again?_ His voice was dark and husky, and it made her breath catch.

 _I don’t know._ The Rebellion seemed intent on not staying in one place for long, so sneaking away again would be impossible. To have their last tryst, she had to tell Finn that her Jedi calling was pulling her to a specific part of space and she needed to go immediately, or else she would lose her powers.

Sometimes, it was nice that Finn had no idea about how the Force worked.

 _There isn’t anything you can do?_ His disappointment was palpable.

_Not at the moment. You’ll have to entertain yourself until the next time._

_How should I do that?_

Rey pursed her lips, then sent him the image of a fantasy that had been mulling about in her thoughts.

 _Oh._ She felt his shudder and his gasp. _Join me._

Rey knew what that meant, this time. She opened her mind and let it seep into his, and then his sights and his sensations were hers as well. It may have been a bad move to do so in a room filled with people.

She watched as he pulled his stiff cock out of his pants and felt the low throb as his hand wrapped around it and began to stroke.

Another fantasy shifted from her mind to his.

 _Shit,_ he grunted and his hand moved faster.

Sweat beaded on Rey’s skin. The room was too warm. Why wasn’t anyone else in this blasted meeting sweating?

_More._

Well, there was that one…

She felt herself blush even though no one in the room could see her thoughts. It wasn’t a complete fantasy, but it had all of the important elements figured out. She gathered up the images into a cohesive bundle and eased it into his mind.

 _Ohh. Fuck, woman. How did you think of this?_ He was panting and the tingle in his balls was almost unbearable. _Ungh, I’m going to--_

“--If that’s all right with you, Rey?”

She severed the connection with a yelp and straightened in her chair, trying to bring her breathing under control.

“Are...are you ill?” Owns asked as he took in her sweat-slicked skin and flaming cheeks.

“If what’s all right with me?” She cleared her throat and clenched her hands in her lap.

“The mission.”

Rey narrowed one eye.

“The mission to the _Supremacy_ to steal the plans to a First Order base.”

“Oh! Yes, that would be wonderful!”

Several people in the room frowned at her. Rey turned down her excitement.

“It would be wonderful to finally have a victory,” she amended.

The plan was simple, in theory. Sneak on to the ship in scavenged Stormtrooper armor, steal the plans from the mainframe, and sneak off. Rey could do it with her eyes closed. She said as much, as she tried to convince the room that it would work best as a solo mission.

Finn crossed his arms and shook his head. “I don’t like you going in there alone.”

“Why not? I’ve already done it once.”

“Well, yeah, but if you have a handful of Resistance soldiers watching your back--”

“It’ll be that much more suspicious,” Rey interrupted.

Finn huffed and glared at a spot over her head.

Everyone agreed, eventually. She would leave in twenty-four standard hours, after receiving some intensive protocol training from Finn. Rey didn’t think the training would go too well, with the amount of frowning he was doing. Finn was one of those people who tended to dwell. She could just imagine their upcoming meeting:

‘ _So this latch releases the crotch opening, so you can urina--...um, hmm.’_

_‘I’ll pee before I leave. It’ll be fine.’_

_‘You shouldn’t go alone.’_

_‘Ugh. Just tell me about the security codes.’_

_‘They’re changed every few days, and you shouldn’t go alone.’_

_‘Finn, look, I’ve suddenly grown four extra arms and am more capable than you and Poe combined.’_

_‘That’s nice, Rey. But you shouldn’t go alone.’_

As the meeting dispersed, she tried not to run out of the room. Twenty-four hours. That was practically no time at all. There was a strange feeling in her chest--a lightness and a fizziness that put a spring in her step and a smile on her face.

Poe’s voice rang out in the hallway behind her.

“Excited to see your boyfriend?”

Rey froze. The fizziness hardened into a chilling leaden panic and crackled over her skin. How could he know? How could he _possibly_ know? There was no feeling in her hands, no saliva left in her mouth. She whirled around to face Poe.

“What?” It came out in a tremble.

But Poe was grinning.

No. He couldn’t know. There was no way he could know and still be smiling at her like that, all smirking charm and twinkling eyes.

“Your boyfriend,” Poe said. “You’re running off to say ‘bye, right?”

“I...I don’t...it’s...um…” Rey stammered.

Poe clapped her on the back as he continued down the hall. “Don’t worry.” He winked over his shoulder. “Your secret’s safe with me.”

She couldn’t get back to her room fast enough. As soon as the cloth fluttered into place across the doorway, she leaned against a wall and sucked in deep lungfuls of air and willed her thundering pulse to become calm and steady.

“Your secret’s safe with me _,_ ” Rey repeated in a snide tone to the empty room. Poe’s secret was safe with _her_ , too.

‘Poe,’ she should have said, ‘I know you’ll keep my secret, because I’ve kept quiet about how, during meetings, you stare at Finn and glare at Rose in whatever time you’re not drooling on yourself.’

As was always the case, the proper witty response came upon her when she was alone and out of earshot of the person she wanted to respond to.

She’d probably get a chance to say it later.

Most of the adrenaline had left her veins and as she calmed, the reality of what she was doing slowly descended on her. This was not just a fling with some cute junk trader that gave her a wink and suggested she join him in his speeder later. It wasn’t just a good fuck with a handsome man. Well, it _was_ a good fuck, like a really _really_ good fuck, and it _was_ with a handsome man, but it was with the leader of the order that sought to destroy her, her friends, and her values.

What the hell was she doing?

The thoughts swarmed around her head like angry desert bees. With one more deep breath, she forced them into silence.

What was she doing? Having great sex. That’s what she was doing.

Not only that, but whenever they were together, all of her worries and fears dropped out of her brain. She couldn’t exactly wonder about her place in the universe while having the most intense orgasms of her life. There wasn’t anything more to this...thing they had. He was obviously not using her to try and get information about the Rebellion, just as she wasn’t trying to get information about the First Order.

Well, until now.

Rey gnawed on her lip. She stilled her mind and reached out into the echoing space of the universe.

 _Hey,_ she said.

He responded immediately.

_Unnggh._

Rey tensed. _Are you all right?_

 _Fuck, yes._ He groaned. _I’ve been masturbating for the past hour. I can’t get your thoughts out of my head, you dirty little scavenger._

She felt herself flush. _I think we’ll be seeing each other sooner than I thought._

_Really?_

Oh, stars. She could feel his excitement and his giddiness and even his damned smile. He was smiling. Not a smirk or a cunning twist of his lips, but a genuine, full-bodied _smile_ , and it irritated her to no end that she couldn’t see it.

 _In about 24 standard hours, I’ll be coming to you_ , she said. _Maybe we could try out one of those visuals. But I’m going to need something, so-_ -

_Yes. Yes. Anything._

_...I need some plans to a First Order base._

_Of course, of course._ He was still smiling.

Rey frowned. Had he even heard her? Never mind. She’d deal with that later.

Now, she had some white armor to polish.

 

#

 

The suit was awful. Too tight in all the wrong places and too loose in other places and just itchy everywhere else. The helmet shifted on her head whenever she looked down at the console, and the idiotic crotch plate pressed into her femoral artery with disturbing accuracy.

Rey peered at the _Supremacy_ through the helmet’s tiny view holes as the tractor beam pulled her shuttle into a docking port. Scaffolding covered huge swaths of the colossal ship and drones zipped through space carrying anything from steel girders to bundles of wiring. The last time she had seen it this close had been when she approached it in one of the _Falcon’s_ pods. It had seemed much larger, then, somehow.

She was coming back for the same purpose as before: going on a ship to see a guy. Although both were for entirely different reasons, the thought still made her chuckle.

She floated through the next moments as if in a trance. Pull into the bay, ease down, lock the systems, check to make sure she was fully contained in her armor, open the door, walk down the ramp.

The hangar wasn’t the largest, but it still had a fair number of docked ships. Officers, Stormtroopers, and maintenance droids milled about on the shining floor.

Rey almost stumbled as she saw him standing at the base of the ramp, looking taller than she remembered (why did she always make him shorter in her memory?), and then she actually stumbled when the blasted helmet obscured the step at the bottom of the ramp.

He seemed as if he would like nothing more than to reach out and steady her and she was a little disappointed that he didn’t, until she remembered that the Supreme Leader would demonstrate no such affection for one of his peons.

“The mission was successful?” he said. Oh, that voice. It was deep and heady and she imagined that it stroked her in all sorts of wonderful places, even though it didn’t make much sense that a sound could do such a thing.

Ugh, and then his eyes. Her skin tingled under his dark stare, even though she had nearly half an inch of oppressive plastic covering her.

“What miss--” she started in response.

 _Play along!_ he sent.

Oh, right. People were listening.

“Entirely successful,” she said. Trying to disguise her accent made it sound more like ‘entireeleey successfeel,’ and if they had truly been alone, based on the crinkles by his eyes and the way he pressed his lips together, she was sure he would have laughed. Mostly sure.

“Come, I will debrief you.”

Rey trailed behind him as he strode through the hangar. Officers and Stormtroopers alike ducked out of his way, although with a little less fear than she had seen the last time she had been on board.

 _I think you have the order backwards,_ she sent.

He gave her a confused glance over his shoulder.

_Come, I will debrief you? And you know I don’t wear briefs._

Before he turned from her, his face wrestled with a smile.

At that moment, Rey took it as a challenge. She wanted one of those smiles, and she would crack as many dumb jokes as she could until she got it.

They stepped together into an empty elevator, and with a cold swish of closing doors, they started to rise.

He faced her then, looking down at her as if he could see right through her armor. Those full lips parted slightly and he licked them, and just like that, with the barest peek of his tongue against his mouth, and his dark hair haloing his face and brushing against his clean-shaven jaw, and the thought that she knew exactly what lay under all those layers of black fabric, a shocking amount of warmth and wetness pooled between her legs.

Rey shuddered. She wanted to tear the damned helmet off and bury her face in his neck and take a deep breath. She wanted him to back her up against the elevator wall and shove his fingers into her while biting her neck and pinching her breast. She wanted to get on her knees in front of him and suck until his cum shot to the back of her throat.

He frowned a little.

“What’s on your mind?” he said.

_You don’t want to know._

He lifted one dark eyebrow and she quickly turned from him. The elevator must have been smaller than she thought though, for when she twisted around, her helmet smacked into the wall and shattered one of the glass light tubes.

“WHY,” she shouted.

“Don’t worry about it. A droid will clean it up.”

“These helmets are terrible,” she muttered. “I can’t see a damn thing. It’s no wonder they always miss.”

And then, right then, he laughed.

Rey could only stare at him.

It was a hearty laugh, one that shook his shoulders and bounded around the elevator. Coupled with the slightly crooked smile that beamed from his face, the crinkles at the corners of his eyes, and the stars-damned _dimples_ that puckered his cheeks, it was beautiful. There was no other way to describe it.

Rey felt undone. Gone. Completely wrecked.

She needed this man inside her immediately.

“How many floors are left?” Her voice cracked on ‘floors.’

“Too many,” he said. The afterglow of his laugh still lingered on his lips and Rey longed to taste it.

It felt like hours before they stood in front of his chambers. He didn’t even bother with a code, just held his hand over the pad and the locks swooned away under his touch.

Rey admitted that her imagination was getting the better of her, if she was thinking of swooning keypads.

As soon as the door shut behind them she grappled the helmet off her head and disposed of the armor with rips and slashes of her hands and the Force, and soon was only clothed in her own wraps and trousers.

The foolish man hadn’t even noticed.

He was pulling off his gloves and heading for the bed. Which, Rey noted with satisfaction, was enormous.

Of course, when one compared to a cot, most sleeping surfaces were enormous.

He turned to face her. “So, which--”

She tackled him. She knew what he was going to say: ‘Which fantasy do you want to start with?’ but she wanted something else, first.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really, really, really hate to stop things here, but it should be noted that my writing speed is roughly the rate of molasses, going uphill, in January, after having been given a glass of warm milk and a bunch of downers.  
> Stay tuned for the actual smut, forthcoming.  
> (Sorry! Sorry sorry! ): )  
> Also, this chapter should have been called, “In which there is a missed opportunity for an ‘Aren’t you a little short for a Stormtrooper?’ joke.”  
> As for the title of the work, it comes from the title of a Chris Isaak song. *Story tiiime* When I was first coming up with ideas for this star-porn-fic, and trying to decide if I should even write the dang thing, I passed by a couple performing live music in the airport. They were playing that song, and it was just so pretty that I had to stop and listen. You know that moment when a piece of music magically meshes with your thoughts? That happened. And sure, it makes me feel a little embarrassed that I’ve basically done that thing where you connect a song with a cheesy story about fictional characters, but, I don’t know, it just works somehow.


	4. In Which an Inopportune Cliffhanger is Resolved by Excessive Smut

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> His groan rumbled through her mouth, her throat, her chest. It rattled all the bars and locks she had placed around herself and she felt them fly open. And sure, it wasn’t the best metaphor she could think of, but when some six-foot-something man has lifted and pinned you to a wall and is sucking on your tongue and grinding his spectacular dick against your tingliest bits, try and think of something better than that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Recap after ‘cliffhanger’ of last chapter, because I am the most ridiculously slow writer: Rey has launched herself at Kylo, but she still doesn’t know what to call him in her head, so she keeps things vague. )

He careened onto the mattress underneath her as she kissed him ferociously. Their teeth clacked together and her hands gripped his hair. She wriggled around so she was straddling him, her hips bucking against his body, her tongue toying with his. It wasn’t a pretty kiss; she was under no suppositions. It was sloppy and wet and she might have just snorted, but she was wrapped around this spectacular male specimen and his powerful arms were wrapped around her, and if she kept grinding against him, she could probably come doing only this.

But that wasn’t in her plan.

Rey placed a slow kiss on his mouth and sat up.

“I, uh, wow,” he said. His surprised blinks were heavy and his eyes were glassy and slightly shell-shocked.

She smiled down at him. “I couldn’t help it.”

“N-no, I, um, I got that.”

He was looking at her with so much hope and wonder and lust that she felt overwhelmed. Time to get back in control of things.

Rey rolled off of him and lay on her side on the bed. When he tried to follow her, she pressed a hand against his chest.

“Take off your shirt,” she said.

He didn’t bother with the fastenings; he slid off the bed to stand before her and then just tore the shirt in half and threw the shredded fabric to the floor.

Rey tried to swallow and nearly choked. Not what she had in mind, but...fu-u-u-ck. She would never get tired of his chest. Or his stomach. Or his shoulders. Or the fact that he had _ripped his own damned shirt off_.

He smirked and looked down his hawkish nose at her, knowing full well what she was feeling without having to read her mind. Rey wouldn’t be surprised if her her skin was blushing the words, ‘fuck me now.’

“Andhyurr.” It came out as half moan, half squeak. She cleared her throat. “And your pants.”

His large, dexterous fingers undid the fly, clasp by clasp, at an achingly slow pace. That wasn’t how someone undid their pants: fingering each clasp, stroking the tiny metal fixtures, trailing a long, blunt finger down the length of the fly. The asshole was tormenting her.

“Not going to tear those off, too?” she said in a breathy whine. She was whining now? Really?

He kept on with that crooked smirk of his. “No. I like these pants.”

Rey thought they were a little too high and annoyingly good at hiding that delicious dip above each of his hip bones. She wouldn’t care if the pants ripped. When they fell to the floor, she let out a sigh.

Ugh, even his underwear was sexy. Skin-tight black shorts that clung to his body the way she wanted to cling to his body: right up against his skin and gently holding his massive erection.

He climbed onto the bed and on top of her with a low rumble of satisfaction, pushing her legs apart and settling between them with a look of pure bliss on his face, as if this, out of everywhere in the universe, was where he belonged.

A strange voice echoed in her head through the lengths of space and time.

‘ _Control, control, you must learn control!_ ’

The random voice probably meant that she should control these urges--the ones that raced through her skin and threatened to turn her into a fiery ball of desire and an uncontrollable need for orgasms and sweat-and-other-fluids-drenched sex--because Jedi did not give into said urges. But there weren’t any further voices providing clarification, so she took the words in her own way.

Rey pressed her hand against his chest once more. “Stop,” she said. As the bliss left that long face and made it even longer, she continued, “Take off my clothes.”

“If you insist.” The bliss returned. A hand trailed to her wraps and tugged.

“No.” She batted his hand away. “With your mouth.”

Both his eyebrows shot up. For a moment, she thought he would question her, but ever the dutiful lover, he bent his head and began.

The belt would have been the hardest, had she worn it, but Rey knew how to think ahead. His teeth fastened on fabric and pulled, and he licked, sucked, and nibbled at every bit of newly exposed skin. He made easy work of the drawstring of her pants and eased them down over her hips. The cool air against her made her realize with a start the full extent of her wetness, and she longed for him to discover it.

Control was very difficult, in more than one way.

He let out a groan of appreciation when he saw that she had forgone her undergarments. Again, she had thought ahead.

He pulled himself up and kissed her when there was no more clothing to remove.

“Make me come,” she said against his lips.

Leaning on one arm, he cocked a brow at her and sneered without the malice.

“And how would you like me to do that, your worshipfulness?”

Rey’s heart stuttered. Did he realize what he had said: that word, that ridiculous word, so entrenched in his family history?

She sucked in a sharp breath.

“However you want, Mr. Solo.”

Pain flashed through his black eyes and his mouth pressed into a flat line.

“Please don’t call me that,” he murmured. His hand traced over her, down past her belly, flicking over her clit, making her shiver and arch into him.

“Why not?” she said.

“It’s not me. It’s not who I am. Not anymore.” He stared at a point somewhere over her shoulder.

“Then who are you?”

He was still playing with her lightly, tenderly, fingers flicking over the insides of her thighs, brushing the crease still imprinted by that stupid armor, avoiding the one spot where she wanted him.

“I don’t know.” It sounded like a confession.

“Could I call you ‘Ben’?”

He focused on her then and she felt almost flayed by the intensity of it, like she had been broken wide open and he was peering right into her soul.

She shut her eyes. No. No souls. There couldn’t be any of that talk.

“I think I would like that,” he said at last. Ben said.

Then his fingers finally found where they needed to go. Rey clutched his shoulders and bucked into him as he sucked in a harsh gasp.

“Oh, _fuck_ ,” Ben breathed. She felt him shudder above her. “You’re...you’re fucking _soaked_.”

Rey dug her nails into his back as he circled his fingers, using them to spread her slickness over her clit and her labia. A pulsing warmth bloomed in her stomach and flooded up into her brain. He pressed on her clit and rolled it under the pad of his thumb. With every pass, it was as if he plucked a string that stretched from the base of her skull to her toes. A finger curled inside her and stroked.

She wasn’t even sure how he could do it with one hand. It wasn’t right that someone who could rip off their own shirt could also finger a pussy with something akin to magic.

“Dick,” she whimpered.

“Already?” Ben said.

“Not--unhh--what I meant.”

Why wasn’t he kissing her? Why wasn’t he paying any attention to her nipples? They were right there, right in front of him. Her breasts were even perfectly mouth-sized, and, again, right there.

Rey was trying to gather enough of her wits to ask why he blatantly ignored her chest and her mouth, when her eyes drifted open.

Well, that was why. He was still leaning on one elbow, watching her. Not blatant ogling, like she had done to him after the shirt ripping; not a bored stare, like she had undoubtedly done in that horrible meeting; but watching. It was as if he was looking at a spectacular landscape and was desperately trying to memorize it.

Her breath fluttered. And maybe it was how those dark eyes fixed on her with such reverence, and maybe it was the way his multi-talented fingers were simultaneously gliding into her and rubbing her exactly the way she needed, and maybe it was the feather-soft kiss he pressed to her lips, and maybe it was all of those things combined, but when she crested into orgasm, it pulled not only a scream from her, but tears. Just a few of them. They didn’t even fall; they stuck to her eyelashes and fractured the reddish light in the room into glittering prisms.

“What do you want?” Ben said, his voice soft against her cheek.

She could feel whatever semblance of control slipping rapidly through her fingers.

Might as well give it up completely.

Rey sent him that fantasy: the incomplete one, the one that had made her blush.

His head pulled away from hers, an eager smile on his face. “Really?” he said.

Rey could only nod. Words were too difficult. She let him arrange her body on the bed while she took in her surroundings.

Ben’s living quarters were borderline oppressive. The walls were black, the floor was a shining black, the soft drapes probably intended to give the room a cozy feel were black. Even his damned sheets were black. All of the lights glowed a red that reminded Rey of staring at the sun through your eyelids, but without the warmth.

She looked at Ben as he straddled her legs, his expression pensive as he perused the room. Because of the light, his skin took on a strangely pink hue. Those delicious slabs of muscle and mouth-watering dips and hollows seemed much less appetizing because of it. Even his cock, and oh, how she loved to look at his cock--thick and slightly curving up and jutting out at her like it enjoyed her attention--wasn’t nearly as majestic as it could have been.

This would not do.

Rey narrowed her eyes at the nearest lamp. She reached out, felt the buzzing electricity and the arrangement of light, and then tweaked it. She wasn’t even sure that she could do it until the light shifted from red to orange, from orange to a rich yellow. Two more lights shifted as well.

That was what the Force was for, wasn’t it, making one’s lover look more like a human? And if it looked like that human was being softly lit by candlelight, well then that made it even better.

Ben gave her a lifted eyebrow.

“You had to do that?” he said.

Rey trailed her palm up his thigh. “Yes.”

He rolled his eyes, and it made her want to laugh that the Supreme Leader of the First Order could be a complete and total brat.

His fingers closed around her hand before it could travel to his groin, then pinned it above her head.

“You’re certain?” he whispered. He almost seemed concerned.

“Yes.”

Without breaking eye contact, he held out a hand and one of Rey’s wraps flew into it. He looped it around her wrist and knotted it to one of the posts at the corner of the bed, then did the same to the other wrist. Wicked man. He could have used his shirt, or his pants, or the sheets. But, no. After today, whenever she dressed, she would have to remember this other use for her clothing.

As he worked, his body hovered over her, and she relished how small he made her feel just by proximity. Rey had never felt small or delicate before, and there was something delightful in it. She could smell the heady scent of his skin and how it mingled with the fresh fragrance of whatever soap he used. Oh, she wanted to lick this man. Everywhere. She bit her lip to stop herself from lifting up and attaching her mouth to his chest like some sort of lust-driven lamprey.

Finished with the wraps, Ben settled on his heels.

“Good?” he said.

Rey tugged at the bonds. Not too tight, nothing pinched. She nodded.

There was one more thing to do, though.

One half of his ripped shirt flew through the air and into his grasp. He leaned over her and tied it over her eyes.

The instant that darkness surrounded her, every other sense skyrocketed. She could feel the coarse hair on his legs brushing her thighs, the tiny currents of air tickling across her stomach, could hear the hitch in his breathing, the rustle of fabric.

The bed rocked as he climbed off of her, and she listened to him pad around the room before the mattress dipped as he sat on the edge.

He didn’t touch her, not yet. The absence of sensation made her shudder. She could imagine that she could feel his hands hovering over her body, and she arched up into empty air, straining against her wraps.

It was a wonderful feeling, this helplessness. Where on the shuttle, she had felt that sharp surge of power and control, now there was the thrill of handing that power over to someone else and surrendering in its void. It was all at once calming and exhilarating; she was his to do with whatever he wished, and she trusted that she was safe in his hands, just as he trusted her not to Force her way out of the bafflingly impractical knots he had tied. (Seriously, had the man ever encountered a rope before?)

When he finally touched her, she nearly shot off of the bed. Smooth fingers glided over her skin so lightly that they left a trail of tingling warmth in their wake. They seemed almost too smooth, though. And then she realized that he was wearing his gloves.

Rey didn’t know what it was, exactly, about those gloves that made her so aroused. Maybe she associated them with their first time in the throne room. Or maybe it was that strange taboo of touching-yet-not-touching, of having the weight and the pressure of his fingers but not the actual feel of them. Either way, she loved it, and almost came undone when one large gloved hand cupped her breast and the other cupped her mons.

“Please please please,” she cried, not even sure what she was begging for.

His lips closed on a nipple and over the sound of her moan, she heard the rasp as he pulled off the gloves. His mouth moved to the other nipple, not wanting it to be left out, and his hands stroked the insides of her thighs.

The room felt too warm. Would he care if the backs of her knees were sweaty? If sweat was beading between her breasts?

As if he had felt her thoughts, he dragged his mouth down her sternum and licked the salty drops away, letting out a groan.

“You’re delicious,” he rumbled. “The taste of your sweat”--he moved lower--“and the taste of your skin”--his tongue flicked at the crease of her thigh--“and the taste of your cunt.”

That crude, direct word, combined with the now-practiced dart of his tongue against her clit, and she fell apart, clenching and writhing and crying out strings of gibberish.

“Wow,” Ben said, after a moment, his tone part amazement and part shock. “That was fast.”

Rey couldn’t say much more than, “Uh huhh.” It _had_ been fast. She had never come so quickly in her life.

“Fuckin’ _magic_ ,” she slurred.

He laughed, a low throaty chuckle that shook the bed underneath her.

“But,” he mumbled against her belly, “seeing as I’ve got you here…”

Then he licked her into orgasm twice. _Twice._ One after the other, his head ducking back down even before her aftershocks subsided, his tongue swirling around her, inside her, his hands pinning her hips in place and taking it in turns to squeeze her ass and toy with her breasts. And his fingers. Those long, thick, artful digits filled her and stretched her until she begged for more. Right as she was soaring up to come for the second (or, third, as it were) orgasm, he stuffed three fingers into her and fucked her with them, even as his mouth was still working her clit like it was a honey treat. Her throat was hoarse but she still managed to sob out a rattling cry that hurt even her own ears.

By the end, Rey was certain that she had seen through space and time. She was a shuddering mound of nerves and sweat and the fluids of her own climaxes.

Ben groaned something, but her thigh muffled him.

“What?” she panted. Her voice was a croak. Oh, she would kill for some water.

He must have been peeking into her thoughts, for the bed shifted underneath her, footsteps padded away, a faucet hissed, and he returned.

“Here,” he said and she felt the cool smoothness of a glass pressed to her lips.

She gulped noisily and a thin stream of water trickled down her cheek. Of course, the complete and uncomparable asshole that he was, Ben gently wiped it away before offering her more.

“What did you say into my thigh earlier?” she said once she could properly speak.

“Um, nothing.”

If he hadn’t sounded embarrassed, she wouldn’t have pressed.

“What?” she repeated.

He let out a hesitant rumble. “I said that I wanted to fuck your mouth again.”

Lust roared in her ears. “Oh yes, please. Yes. Do it.”

The dichotomy of his personalities never ceased to throw her off guard. What was wrong with him, that he slip easily between brooding and towering and ordering and being the master of dirty talk to thoughtful and bashful and being a sensitive lover? And what was wrong with her for getting so turned on by it?

Ben paused. “With you, um, like...this?”

“Yes!” she cried.

The mattress heaved under his weight as he moved up to her head. She could feel the scorching heat of his body against her neck and the dents that his knees left in the sheets by her shoulders.

“Do you want it?”

“Ohyesyesyes.” It came out as an exhalation.

She felt him against her lips, stroking her, rubbing against the corner of her mouth. He dipped into her mouth and--

Wait.

Something was off, because that definitely was not his cock. With a pass of her tongue, she realized it; the bastard was using his _thumb_. She nipped at the fleshy pad, pulling a gasp out of him, and then sucked it into her mouth anyway. Her tongue traced along the crease opposite his knuckle and flicked over the webbing connecting it to his forefinger.

From the lack of sound above her, Ben seemed to have forgotten how to breathe. He withdrew his thumb with a groan and now, thank the stars, was about to replace it with his cock. She dragged her tongue up the soft slit and tasted the salt of his precum.

“Do…” He stopped to shudder. “Do you want me to fuck your mouth again?”

“Yes,” she moaned.

“I want you to say it.”

“Fuck my mouth again, please, please, Ben.”

His groan could almost have been a whimper. When his cock slid between her lips, she lavished it with attention.

Here she was, tied up and at the mercy of this enormous man, and all she could think of was how wonderful it felt to be making him tremble for her. She could feel the thick muscles in his legs tensing and quaking as he held himself in check. He’d learned how to control himself, since that first time. He thrust slowly, shallowly, into her mouth, his fingers buried in her hair, soft, desperate moans and curses coming from his throat.

Her body thrummed and throbbed, wanting-- _needing_ to be touched. She squeezed her legs together in a desperate attempt to ease some of the tension in her clit, but it wasn’t enough.

 _I need you inside me,_ she sent to him, seeing as her mouth was occupied.

Rey half expected him to respond with a snarky, ‘I am,’ but he pulled from her mouth and moved down her body, and as she lifted her hips to him, his already-slick cock plunged into her.

Her cry was more like a wail. Oh stars, she could never get enough of this. Again and again, he worked her body beneath him. It was rough and it was harsh and she loved it. Her hands gripped his forearms and when she felt the thick, corded muscles shake with exertion, she realized she had untied herself. Well, she’d done just fine up until then.

Rey tore the fabric from her eyes and her heart lurched. She had thought he was beautiful when he had laughed in the elevator, and handsome when they had lain together on the shuttle floor, and sexy when he had torn that damn shirt off, but now...she wasn’t even sure how to describe it. Jaw clenched, sweat beading on his forehead and and making his hair cling to his neck, staring at her with an expression that could have been pleasure and could have been agony.

She leaned forward in between his thrusts and fastened her teeth onto one of his heavy shoulders, sucking and nibbling, tasting him and leaving welts she knew would be there the next day.

Whatever he was trying to say only came out in a series of breathless grunts.

“Oh, Rey…” he breathed against her skin.

_Oh, yes._

He pulled her to the edge of the bed and stood so he could angle down into her, then lifted her ankle to his shoulder so she was opened wide to him. It was almost too much. She was falling apart. Breaking at the seams. Losing the ability to form coherent thoughts.

Rey almost didn’t hear the click from the other end of the room, and when she did, she froze.

“No...” she gasped, panic spreading through her like poison.

They had forgotten to lock the door.

 

#

 

Hux clomped down the hallway and frowned.

‘Go check on the Supreme Leader,’ they’d said.

‘We’re hearing strange sounds from his chambers,’ they’d said.

He was probably just torturing some poor innocent soul, and more the better for it. Ren had seemed very out-of-character over the past several days. The sop just needed to make someone scream, and then he would get back to his usual ornery self.

Hux wasn’t sure if he prefered this new Ren or not; before, the brooding monster was just that: brooding and monstrous, but had mostly ignored Hux. Now, this new Ren seemed much less broody, but almost depressed, as if he couldn’t bring himself to continue chasing the idiotic Rebels. And if Former Ren disliked Hux, New Ren _despised_ him. No matter what kind of Ren there was, someone had to be on the bad end of his temper. Hux wished it could be someone else.

He arrived at the door, and, sure enough, there were the screams. Hux rolled his eyes at a passing officer and waggled a thumb in the universal gesture of ‘Can you believe this?’

The officer quickened his pace down the hall, but not before turning a light shade of red and unsuccessfully hiding a laugh behind his hand.

What was so funny? Let the man torture, Hux thought.

He had to admit that the sounds were awfully alluring for someone undergoing torture. And...well, now it sounded like Ren was being tortured as well. Perhaps he _should_ make sure everything was all right…

The door wasn’t locked, so really, Hux wouldn’t be intruding, per se. He pushed the door open with a click and stopped. His jaw dropped.

Ren was fucking someone.

His broad back was to Hux, so he couldn’t see _who_ exactly he was fucking, but it seemed to be a female someone, if the shape and size of the foot slung over Ren’s shoulder said anything. His pale buttocks clenched with every thrust and Hux would have been impressed if he hadn’t been so shocked--no, no, he was definitely impressed. When did the man have time to exercise? Hux suddenly felt inadequate, especially when the female let out a gratified moan as Ren bit and then pressed a kiss to her ankle.

Then Ren saw him, threw out an arm, and hurled him against the wall opposite the door.

Hux should have expected it to hurt, but he was so distracted by the scene that he didn’t feel the pain for several seconds after the door slammed shut.

He knew what was coming next. It felt as if fingers dove into his brain through the top of his skull and sifted through his mind. He’d experienced this same thing over and over with Ren, but...but…

Now, _that_ was different.

This time, it felt like there had been a second set of hands.

Hux gaped at the door.

_No…_

It couldn’t be.

 

#

 

Ben was still inside her.

“Did he…” Rey began, but Ben shook his head immediately.

She reached out to check, just in case. Hux’s mind was an alarming bundle of nerves, unresolved rage, hatred, and worries about how his show rabbits were going to place in the Wrak System Fair, but thankfully, no knowledge of Rey.

She let out a shaky breath, though every muscle still tensed.

Ben started to move within her and she stiffened.

“What are you doing?”

“I didn’t think we were done,” he said, confused, but slipped out of her. “Were...were we done?”

Rey rolled upright and perched on the edge of the bed. Ben took a step backwards.

“How can you even think about continuing after...after _that_?” It felt as if she had just run from a sand lion: pounding heart, trembling limbs, brain in a state of panic. Sex was the last thing on her mind.

Ben scoffed. “That’s not the first time Hux has barged in on me pre-orgasm.” He shrugged. “The man is a waste. I don’t see how that affects anything.”

What was he not understanding?

“He could have seen us!” Rey cried.

“He did.” Ben frowned.

Rey clenched her jaw. “He could have seen _me._ ”

She wanted to slap the confused look off of his long, handsome, scarred face.

“What would happen if he found out about us? This” --she made a motion between the two of them-- “shouldn’t be happening. You’ve somehow forgotten that I’m the opposite of all you and your…your _Order_ stand for.” She hated how shrill her voice was becoming.

“What are you saying?” He crossed his thick arms across his thick chest when she turned on the bed to face him. Her hands squeezed into fists at her sides.

Rey wasn’t sure what she was trying to say. “What is this to you, Ben?”

His face twisted into an angry mask. “I don’t know!” he said. “Should I know? Do I have to know? And if we’re going down that road, what is this to _you_? Besides something to be horrified of, and embarrassed about, obviously.”

“Of course I’m horrified!” she said. His body jerked as if she had punched him in the stomach, and regret flooded her instantly. _Stars_ , she hadn’t meant it like _that_.

Before she could say anything, Ben’s expression stilled to the stony wall he’d used so much in the past.

“I see,” he said, voice flat and emotionless. He went to the drapes and pulled them open. Stars glittered through the small window, and the dull light of space reflected off of his skin. “Then you can leave.”

“Ben--”

“LEAVE!” His head ducked until his forehead rested on the glass. His shoulders slumped and his palms pressed against the window as if it was the only thing holding him upright.

Rey bit back her pity with a growl.

“No.” She surged to her feet with an embarrassing wobble. It seemed that one couldn’t have three orgasms and do anything in an impressively dramatic fashion.

He didn’t move, but she could feel him looking at her out of the corner of his eye.

As she approached him, she knew he was expecting her to gently lay a hand on his shoulder, to try and appeal to his sense of humanity.

Instead, she smacked him, hard, across the back of his head.

“Aggh!” he shouted and whirled around, eyes wide in surprise. “What was that--”

“Because you’re being an asshole!” Rey lifted her hand to deliver another smack, but he grabbed her wrist in his stupidly large hand.

“How am _I_ the asshole?” he said indignantly.

“I say that I’m horrified, and you instantly assume it’s because of you, and you scream at me to get out.”

“Isn’t it because of me?”

“ _NO!_ ”

His grip slackened on her wrist and she pulled out of his grasp.

“Although I might be a little horrified of you now, because you seem to have your head so far up your ass that you could nibble on your own shoulders.”

The bastard at least had the decency to blush at that.

“I’m not horrified of you,” she said, “I’m horrified of the consequences of being with you. Have you even thought _once_ about what would happen if we were found out?”

Ben stared at her feet. “No. I haven’t wanted to think about it.”

Rey dragged her hands down her face. “Because not thinking about it will solve everything.”

His black eyes flicked up to hers. “I don’t know what we have, but I know that I like it. I like _you_.”

Oh, balls. He just had to look at her like that, with that loving, hopeful expression on his face.

“I like you, too,” Rey said.

“And,” Ben continued, “I know that if we get caught there will be problems, but can’t we just...I don’t know, figure those out when--or, if--they happen?”

He took a hesitant step towards her.

“I’m sorry I yelled.” The words came out slowly, as if they took a great effort to say, and after, he narrowed his eyes as if making sure that they hadn’t caused him pain.

“Good,” Rey said, although she wished he wouldn’t keep coming closer to her, because it was doing funny things to her lungs.

“I have, um, some issues.”

“What? No.” She’d probably overdone the sarcasm.

Ben huffed a little laugh in response. “It was wrong of me to take them out on you. I enjoy being with you. In every way. If it’s talking, or fucking, or just seeing you, or telling you something dumb that Hux said about his rabbits.”

“Likewise.” She crossed her arms over her chest so that she would know what to do with her hands. She knew how to deal with shirt-ripping, smirking Ben, and even angsty, frustrating, asshole Ben, but honest, apologetic, and genuine Ben was a new creature to her. Rey had no idea how to handle this one.

He was close enough that she could feel the heat of his body radiating against her skin. “I’m sorry,” he whispered into her hair. “I don’t want you to leave.”

As if they had a mind of their own, her arms lifted and wrapped around his massive torso.

“I don’t want you to want me to leave,” she mumbled into his chest as he enclosed her in a hug.

They were hugging. Just...hugging.

For all Rey had hugged her friends, this was completely different, and not just because they were both naked. She was surrounded by him and acutely aware of his breathing, of the delectable smell of him, and of the steady, slow thrum of his heart.

Her fingers trailed up the ridges of his spine and over the broad expanse of his shoulders. The air from his sigh ruffled her hair and when he gently squeezed her, she felt it in the flex of every muscle from sternum to wrist and it sent a thrill through her veins.

She must have let out a little moan, for she felt him start to harden against her stomach. Pulling away, she saw him flinch.

“Sorry.” He winced.  “It’s not...I mean, I’m not assuming you wanted to...um, it just does...you know,” he finished lamely.**

“Ben,” she said, looking at him from under her lashes. “I want you to finish what you started.”

He stared down at her and licked his lips, then without a word, ducked his head and shoved his mouth against hers. His palms pressed against her back and her ass and crushed her body to him. With barely a grunt, he lifted her so her legs could wrap around his waist.

Rey wriggled against him, trying desperately to grind herself against his rapidly hardening cock, but he held her in place and walked to a wall as if she weighed nothing. He pinned her to the wall, hands cupping under each butt cheek, spreading her for him, watching her with such intensity that she knew if the slightest hint of hesitation crossed her face, he would see it. And it made her melt against his chest. Ben’s fingers dug into her flesh and lifted her so her wetness laved up and down his cock.

She wanted to lay herself out for him, let him take whatever he wanted, be it her body or her heart. Although really, this stupid, sexy man already had both.

He already had…

Both.

Rey sucked in a terrified gasp. “Oh, _fuck_.”

Ben froze immediately. “What? What’s wrong?”

She looked at him, into those endless brown-black eyes, into that face so filled with concern, and knew it was true.

“I think I might be in love with you.”

His lips parted and he blinked.

“Which doesn’t make sense, I admit,” she continued, “and you’re going to think it’s just because you had your angry moment and I want to make you feel better, or something”--Rey recognized that she was rambling and fought to pull it in--“but I’m not sure why I said it, so let’s actually pretend I didn’t say it and let’s ignore the whole thing and never mind, I take it back.”

Ben was smiling, somewhere between a tiny curl of his lips and that beaming, crinkling grin she saw in the elevator.

“Don’t take it back,” he said, “because I want to tell you that I might be in love with you too, and it’s much less terrifying if you go first.”

“Oh,” Rey said. She wasn’t sure if she could say anything else, because it felt like she had a swarm of lightning butterflies flitting about in her stomach and battering her ribcage, so she kissed him instead.

Ben’s tongue flicked across her lips and she welcomed it into her mouth, sucking the tip of it and letting it swirl across her own tongue. His groan rumbled through her mouth, her throat, her chest. It rattled all the bars and locks she had placed around herself and she felt them fly open. And sure, it wasn’t the best metaphor she could think of, but when some six-foot-something man has lifted and pinned you to a wall and is sucking on your tongue and grinding his spectacular dick against your tingliest bits, try and think of something better than that.

Ugh, she fucking _loved_ him. It was strange to admit it. How could you love someone who was still technically ‘evil’? How could you love someone who you weren’t supposed to love, who, was, again, _evil_?

Whelp, she thought, nothing to do about it now. Or, not _entirely_ nothing.

Ben had scooped one arm under her ass and was trying to position his cock with his free hand, but struggled with the angle of their bodies.

“Let me help you,” she said, and just like the transfer of control and power before, he handed it all over to her without a second thought. When both of his hands returned to supporting her, she wrapped a hand around him and directed him where he needed to go.

He pushed inside her, inch by desperate inch, making certain he was slick enough before going any deeper.

“Nhhn, I love your cock,” she gasped when he was in completely. She stretched around him and could almost feel the pulse of his erection.

“I love your pussy,” Ben said back. Their foreheads pressed together and their breath mingled in the space between.

“I love your huge hulky body.”

He started to move, slowly at first. “I love your vice-like legs.”

Rey squeezed them around him and he tightened his grip on her ass, moving one hand to her shoulder and pressing her body down against his thrusts.

“I”--she let out a strangled moan as he bore her down onto his cock-- “I love your-- _fuck_ \--I love your gigantic beast hands.”

He panted onto the soft skin at the edge of her jaw. “I love your damned perfect neck.”

Rey could feel the hard wall digging into her spine, but she didn’t care. Her head lolled against his shoulder.

“I love your stupid, fucking angry brain.” The words came in rhythm to his jerky, harsh movements.

“I love your shitty optimism.” It almost sounded like a snarl.

Rey didn’t really understand what was happening in their conversation, but it worked for her, somehow.

The ridge of Ben’s pelvis rubbed against her clit over and over and when she lifted her head to look at him, and he looked back at her, mouth open and pupils blown and a red flush creeping up his chest, she knew he was seeing the same thing.

And staring into him, like some sort of love-struck idiot, she came. She didn’t close her eyes, even if it was more difficult than flying the _Falcon_ with no arms and an extra foot; she just looked at him and let him see her. Her cry pierced the air as the surging tide ripped through her, and she felt herself clench around him. Then Ben, stupidly beautiful, angry, sweet Ben, scrunched his eyebrows, clenched his teeth, and let out a harsh groan, never breaking eye contact, and she could feel his warm cum as it shot into her.

Her head flopped against his heaving shoulder and his ragged breaths brushed her skin.  Rey felt like something had been torn out of her, then warmed by a fire and fed fatty foods, and gently placed back. She wasn’t sure what the hell that meant, but she’d worry about that later.

Without letting her down, he staggered back to the bed and collapsed underneath her. His cum dripped down her thigh as her hair clung to the sweat on his skin.

“ _Shit_ ,” he said, and tucked her under one arm.

“Yeah,” she agreed. She loved the way his skin prickled under the light scrape of her nails when she brushed them over his stomach.

“That was…” His sentence ended with a slow exhalation.

“Yeah.”

His fingers swirled across her back and she found her eyelids growing heavy. When he chuckled, the movement shook her awake.

“What?” she said and shifted up on an elbow to look at him.

She followed his proud stare to the lamps, the scraps of fabric, and the little electronic time-teller that all bobbed in the air.

He gave her a victorious smirk, then let his head drop back to the mattress.

“You did well, sir.” Rey kissed the smirk from him and nestled into her comfortable Ben-pillow.

After a few moments, Ben made a thoughtful ‘Hmm.’

“Yes?”

He looked down at her without moving his head. The hand that had been on her back drifted down over her ass and then reached around to the slippery cleft between her legs.

“You never mentioned why you had to come here in the first place,” Ben said. She moaned as his fingers moved over her exquisitely sensitized flesh. Her nails left indentations in his skin in a desperate attempt to pull him closer.

There had to have been some reason why she had dressed in Stormtrooper armor, and boarded his ship...

“Ohh.” Her breath fled in a quavering rush. “I don’t remember.”

It must not have been that important.

 

#

 

Rey fastened the white armor bracer on her forearm while Ben secured the straps on her shoulder.

He’d put on his pants, and hadn’t yet searched for an unrended shirt, so Rey didn’t feel guilty at all about ogling him, especially since his pectorals were so very close to her eyes. They demanded her to ogle, really.

Then the helmet was in his hands, his look almost guilty at having to subject her to it again. As if in apology, he leaned down and brushed his lips gently against hers before settling the helmet on her head.

Rey spun before him. Or, at least, she tried to spin, but ended up shuffling because she had no idea where she was turning.

“Do I look all right?” She twisted her head wildly until Ben grabbed her shoulders and oriented her so she faced him. He smiled down at her through the slits in the helmet.

“You might be a little short for a Stormtrooper, but I think you’ll make it out just fine.”

“Oh, good.”

Then it hit her like a ton of scrap metal.

“The plans!” Her hands went up to grab her head but smacked the helmet.

Ben looked pained. “I don’t think you can put any more plans into effect with me for at least the next several hours.”

“What? Oh, no. Not those plans. Different plans. Why I needed to be here in the first place.”

“Oh?”

She put on her most pleading expression before realizing that he couldn’t see it.

“I need plans to a First Order base so the Rebellion can overtake it.”

Ben took a deep breath and scrubbed a hand through his hair. Several locks of it stuck towards the ceiling afterwards.

“Just one base, Ben. Please.”

He went to a cabinet and pulled out a freshly pressed black tunic, and slipped it on his arms.

“I can’t, Rey.” He pinched his lips and ducked his head. Black curls tumbled over his face. “I know that they’re my people, that they’re your enemies, but they’re still _people_.” His fingers fumbled with the fasteners. “I can’t send them to their deaths any more than I can blow up one of your ships.”

Rey blinked underneath her armor.

Ben paused, eyes narrowed in thought.

“There is one base.” He glanced over at her as he finished with his shirt. “On Birnach. It’s been abandoned for years. You could hide out there for a while, if you wanted. No one would think to look for you, for...any of you.”

He came back to her and took one of her gloved hands in his, looking down at the way his large hand dwarfed the white plastic.

“It’s not a battle, but it’d be safe. It’d be something.” When he glanced up at her, his expression was as if he had just given her a present and was hoping that she liked it.

Rey was no fool. She knew well and good that one person could not change another person. That only happened in cheesy romance holos, not in reality. But perhaps, with assistance, someone could remove a little of the tarnish on their soul.

“It would help,” she said, thankful that her voice didn’t crack. She darted forward to give him a grateful kiss.

“Agh!” Ben shouted and staggered backwards, hands to his reddening forehead. “Why did you headbutt me?” he shouted, sounding betrayed. “I thought I was being nice!”

Rey grabbed at his head, clutching it as if apologizing with her hands. “I was trying to kiss you!” She couldn’t help her giggle. “I forgot about the helmet.”

His eyebrows shot up and then he gave her another one of those shoulder-shaking laughs. She could see all of his teeth and she longed to kiss the dimples from his cheeks. Why did he only laugh when her head was covered?

She needed to leave, before she jumped on him again, so she settled for squeezing his hand.

He opened the door for her and escorted her out…

Right into Hux.

_Fucking Hux._

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yaay, they said the L word!
> 
> **Fun fact! There’s something called ‘arousal nonconcordance,’ when one’s genitals and one’s arousal work apart from each other.  I read about it recently in this fantastic book about sex and the psychology of women’s sexuality (Come as You Are, check it out), and because I am the nerd that I am, just had to incorporate it into a story somehow. It’s fascinating stuff.
> 
> As an example, in this chapter, Ky-Ben-lo hears a sexy moan and his penis thinks, “Hey! That sounded like a sex noise! It’s time for meeee!” while his brain is thinking, “Man, this is a nice, sweet moment. I hope nothing ruins it.” Or, as another example, it could be a brain thinking, “Yes! Sexy-time! I want this!” and a vagina thinking, “You know, wetness is really overrated...” (And a brain wanting sex, but a penis thinking, “Meh,” or a vagina getting wet because it’s responding to something sexually relevant but the brain thinking “OMGWTFNO.”)
> 
> There’s a great article here if you want more info:
> 
> https://worldassociationofsexcoaches.org/big-disconnect-arousal-nonconcordance/
> 
> You probably didn’t think that you were going to *learn* something from *porn*, did you??


	5. In Which Plot Develops, Hux is a Bastard, Sex is Had, the Author Makes an Eddie Izzard Reference, and a Hamster is Mentioned (NOT That Kind of Hamster What is Wrong With You)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Ben piloted his ship towards the asteroid--no, their asteroid--he couldn’t help but think that all of their meetings had been a little bit too easy; it was almost as if their trysts were orchestrated by some all-powerful being who really, really wanted them to bang.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The oatmeal shirt part is dedicated to Lady B. (Sorry girl, but I didn’t include anything with gloves in this one. But I did include the toe thing. So it evens out, right?)

If there was one thing that Armitage Hux excelled at, it was patience. Well, sort of.

Maybe not all the time.

Maybe not at all, now that he thought about it. Perhaps ‘patience’ was the wrong word.

 _Tenacity_.

Yes, that was much better.  

Patience let someone stand on a bridge and calmly wait for their arrogant leader to return. Patience let someone sit for hours while the scores for what seemed like eight planetary systems worth of squabbling children’s show rabbits came in before his own scores were announced. Patience let someone hover by the Supreme Leader’s door for an hour (a fucking _hour_ ? Hux thought. How much longer could you _possibly_ need for _that_?) and wait for the door to open.

Tenacity, on the other hand, didn’t just let someone hover by a door, it _drove_ him to hover. It shoved spikes into the floor through his feet so that he planted by a door for an hour out of sheer determination that he _would_ be there when the door opened, no matter how many strange looks he received from passers-by and how many ridiculous sounds emanated from said door.

Shrieking, rhythmic creaking, grunting. Then shouting, moaning, crashing, and then more moaning...and was that Ren climaxing, or had someone let a bull bantha in the room with them?

About time. It was like a fucking marathon. Like a fucking _fucking_ marathon.

Hux disapproved mightily.

Especially since he had his suspicions that Ren’s partner was the one and only Jedi girl Rey who, Hux had to admit, might be composed of well-proportioned body parts and symmetrically-placed features--if you were into things like that--but she still stood squarely underneath the ‘enemy’ banner.

After a few more moments of silence, Hux brushed a speck of dust from his shoulder and straightened. He delved in his mind for his mightiest sneer and plastered it onto his face, then waited for the door to open.

And waited.

He craned his neck so his ear was closer to the door. A soft moan and a deep grunt threaded through the space around the frame, starting out faint and then increasing in volume and urgency.

_Oh, for the love of shit._

Hux’s shoulders sagged in defeat and his gloved hands dragged down his face. _Again_? Seriously? Had the asshole gone and gotten himself a mechanical prick? Was he ejaculating hydraulic fluid? Hux grimaced at the thought.

He leaned back against the wall and glared lasers at the ceiling. He would wait. Because Hux was nothing if not tenacious. And finally, _finally_ , there was silence once more. He paused, listened intently for several long minutes, and then let out a relieved sigh.

The door opened and a short-statured Stormtrooper almost bowled Hux over in her haste to leave. He frowned for a brief moment before returning to his sneer. So then _that_ was it. Ren had snatched a ‘trooper from the ranks to satisfy his needs. Had Hux only imagined the two sets of hands delving in his brain? Perhaps Ren had just done it twice.

Behind the ‘trooper, Ren was...he was…

_Smiling._

The effect was extremely off-putting, like seeing Snoke--may He forever live in memory--on the toilet; Hux knew it had to happen at least some time, but it was horrifying, borderline disgusting, and he was absolutely certain that he never wanted to witness such an atrocity again.

As soon as Ren saw him, the smile dropped, and was replaced by a glower that seemed intent on melting Hux through the floor.

“I was sent to check on you, Supreme Leader,” Hux said. The Stormtrooper was hovering right outside the doorway, as if waiting for something.

Hux swiveled to her. “Anyone visiting the Supreme Leader’s chambers requires appropriate identification.”

One corner of Ren’s lip curled in distaste. “I hardly think that’s necessary. I’ve already identified every inch of her.”

The Stormtrooper gave a little squeak under the helmet.

Hux sniffed and fought a disgusted nose wrinkle. “Protocols are protocols.” He peered at the ‘trooper’s helmet, still unable to shake the suspicion wriggling inside. “Identification, or you shall be arrested and escorted off the ship.”

The Stormtrooper seemed to flinch back. Her helmet jerked to look at Ren, and then back to Hux.

“Enough of this,” Ren growled. His black eyes bored into Hux. “Here’s her identification.”

It was as if Hux’s mind had gone calm and serene. Ah yes, RA-2910. Of course. She was one of the new recruits. He should have known.

“We’re done here,” Ren snapped at the ‘trooper. “Get out of my sight.” And then he gave her a harsh shove out of the doorway before closing himself back into his room.

The Stormtrooper scurried down the hallway, head hung low and feet scuffing the floor.

Hux sniffed again. Well then, if that wasn’t cut and dried. He almost felt a little sorry for her. Key word ‘almost.’ Amazing the poor thing could even walk, considering.

That couldn’t have been the Jedi girl. Jedi girls didn’t have identification numbers.

But...Stormtroopers couldn’t use the Force. And the more he thought about it, the more he realized that the two sets of hands had felt... _different._ He knew how Ren’s hands stabbed and sifted through his mind: as if he was viciously digging through piles of sand, wrenching handfuls up and spraying grains into the air. The second set felt gentler--like someone easing their fingers into the piles and worrying that they might destroy a sand ant colony if they moved too quickly.

With a last thoughtful look at Ren’s door, Hux returned to his post.

 

#

 

It was too good to last. Ben knew that, in the deepest, most honest way.

Everything wonderful he had ever experienced had been torn from him without even so much as an ‘Oops, this wasn’t really yours to begin with, I’ll be taking it back now.’ Caring, involved parents; a consistent home on a consistent planet to return to; and someone who believed that he was more than just his ‘raw, untamed power.’

What did Rey see in him? And why did he worry so much about it? She didn’t seem to want to use him to rule the universe, that much he was certain. But she didn’t seem to want to rule _alongside_ him, either. He’d think about that later. Those thoughts were much too involved for his orgasm-drained brain at the moment.

Ben leaned with his back against the door and sucked in a deep breath. If he focused enough, he could still smell her in the air.

As much as he wanted to throttle Hux literally all of the time, it was probably good that someone was at the door so that Ben couldn’t change his mind and drag Rey back inside. His body couldn’t hold up to much more, and he assumed the same was true for hers. Hux the Asshelmet actually had relatively decent timing for once.

Unless he had been waiting out there since he had barged in.

Ben shuddered in disgust.

Barging in was one thing. Barging in while the Supreme Leader jerked himself off was another. But... _listening_...hearing all of Rey’s little sounds that should have been meant for only Ben’s ears…

A growl rumbled up from his throat.

_Fucking Hux._

If it weren’t for him, Rey wouldn’t have had to endure the shove and the cruel words.

‘ _It’s not true,’_ he’d sent to her immediately after. _‘Not one word. I’d have you stay for--_ (Oh shit, he’d really almost said ‘forever’) _for as long as you’d put up with me._ ’

Although she knew he hadn’t meant the brushing off, and she had said so after he’d told her to look sad as she slunk down the hallway, a part of him hated himself for saying the words at all.

Rey was almost to the hangar now.

Oh, his brilliant little scavenger. He loved the quickness of her mind. After only one trip through the hallways, she already knew exactly how to return to her ship. It was undoubtedly do to her upbringing; who knows how many wrecks she had lost herself in at the beginning? Ben hated thinking about her youth--cold nights, hungry days, all long and hopeless and lonely. Yet despite those times, despite all of the horror, she could still care and laugh and smile.

She was in the hangar, walking between groups of First Order troops.

What if an officer caught her before she boarded and asked for her identification again? What if they threatened her and she had to defend herself? His stomach cramped.

He was a fool. An idiot. He should have accompanied her. Not only could he have protected her, but he could have been in her presence for another few minutes. He could have stolen a moment in the elevator to send her thoughts and images and words that explained exactly how she made his heart race, his skin sing, and his soul light and free. And he would have had the time to figure out a way to say those things in a way that didn’t make him cringe.

 _I’m here, I’m on the ship_.

Ben’s entire body sagged against the door the second she sent the words.

 _I’ll see you again soon,_ he told her, and blushed at the image she sent back. His cock gave a halfhearted, exhausted twitch.

“You and me both,” Ben said to it, “but you’ll never hear an apology from me.”

Rey had gotten an apology out of him, though. More than once. How could it be so easy to say that to her? Thinking back, Ben didn’t think he’d apologized to _anyone_ in his life and actually meant it. Sure, he’d said, ‘sorry’ when he’d been five and knocked his father’s favorite ewok-printed mug off of the table, but that had mostly been posturing, and mostly because he’d done it on purpose. That damned mug got more smiles than Ben had ever gotten.

His father’s face flashed before him. Shocked. Pained. Bathed in the red glow of a lightsaber.

It was easy to believe he didn’t feel sorry about seeing the man--who had been one half of the reason for his existence--fall. Ben had always known that Han and his mother wanted a nice, ordinary, _normal_ child. He knew it from the overheard conversations and the poorly hidden looks of disappointment, from the frantic whispers and the body language that shifted as soon as he walked in. But Ben still remembered the proud smiles when he had floated a book from the case down into his own hand, and the hearty pat on the back when his pet hamster had been found underneath the _Falcon_ ’s console, very much dead.

‘ _You’ll be okay, kid,_ ’ Han had said. ‘ _These things happen. Nothing lasts forever. That’s what made your time with him special._ ’

It was easy to _believe_ that Ben didn’t feel sorry about killing his father. That didn’t make it true.

He took a deep breath and closed his eyes, reaching down inside himself and plucking on that string of guilt that lay alongside his spine.

“I’m sorry...father,” he whispered to the room.

One eye cracked open. He wasn’t sure what he expected to happen. It didn’t feel _bad_. In fact, his chest felt lighter. There was a black void within him somewhere that had been tended and nursed by hatred and fear, but now, it seemed a little smaller. Perhaps it had receded from the encroaching hope and love. Or maybe had just been all of the sex.

As if some dam within him had burst, exhaustion flooded over Ben. He stumbled to his bed and collapsed into it, and breathing in the scents of Rey and sweat and their lovemaking, he fell into his first dreamless sleep in twenty years.

 

#

 

An entire week passed before he had more than a passing conversation with Rey. He completely understood, as the Resistance had to move their base and settle in the abandoned First Order base on Birnach while not only remaining vigilant, but also keeping up with training. It didn’t that mean Ben _liked_ it.

The Resistance, from what Rey sent to him, seemed to be content with their new station. The planet’s environment was a temperate one, at least where the base was located: calm in the day, cool at night. Perched on a mesa, it afforded excellent views of the surrounding shrubbed landscape. It was spring there. Rey sent him images of colorful birds as they swooped and crackled at each other, tiny voles as they scurried from hideout to hideout, and pink and orange sunsets that set the sky aflame.

Oh, how he wanted to be there with her. She talked of the sunshine and the light breezes with such joy in her voice that he could practically see the glow on her face.

It was early one morning on the _Supremacy_ when she her voice trickled through his awareness.

_Ben._

He was awake in an instant, wondering how the very sound of her could make his heart speed up.

_Yes? Everything all right?_

_Of course. It’s been so calm here that I think I can get away for a while again._

Ben tried to control his excitement. _Oh?_

_Meet at our asteroid in a couple of hours?_

A grin spit his face. ‘ _Our_ asteroid.’ What beautiful words. _A couple of hours? Why so long?_

_I have to take care of some things here first, so no one gets suspicious. Although I’m glad you can’t wait._

_I can never wait for you. I mean, I could wait, as long as it took, but...um…_

Her laugh rang out in his head and his hands clenched as if they wanted nothing more than to enclose her within them.

_You silly man. I’ll see you soon._

With that, her presence was gone.

‘ _I love you_ ,’ he wanted to say, but for some reason they hadn’t said it to each other since she had left his chambers. A tiny, angry part of himself, the one that lived within that black void and whispered foul things into his ears, suggested that it was because Rey hadn’t really meant it, and neither had he, and they just said it because it seemed like the thing to say to someone you were wildly fucking.

Ben had meant it, though. Which might have made it worse.

So he lay in his bed and stared at the ceiling, overthinking.

Sure, she had said some amazing and wonderful things when she said what she loved about him, but, again, they had been wildly fucking at the time. And in his extremely limited experience (which currently rested at three mind-blowing sexual encounters and more porn holos than you could shake a stick--or anything long and hard--at) wild fucking didn’t make someone say what lay in the depths of their heart. It made someone say things that they normally wouldn’t say that maybe they didn’t really mean, and would later feel extremely embarrassed about.

‘But what about when she called you “hers”?’ a peppy voice chirped. The angry part of himself punched it and buried it underneath the memory of his hamster.

Ben slid out of his bed and padded to the toilet to relieve his bladder. After, as he cleaned his hands, he stared at himself in the mirror. Rey had claimed that she wasn’t horrified by him. _Claimed._ What did she see? An angry man with angry, rippled scars; shaggy hair that always flopped into his face; an aquiline nose that was far too big for him; huge hands; terrible posture; brooding black eyes…

He could go on. And he hadn’t even gotten to the lack of self-esteem yet.

Ben stomped across the room until he stood before his clothes, and glared at them. Why did everything have to be black? Why did it all have to be absolutely spotless and crisp? One hand gripped a shirt as if he wanted to shatter it. When he let go, wrinkles fanned out across the fabric.

A glimpse of lightness caught his eye towards the back of the wardrobe. An undershirt, he saw as he pulled it out, long-sleeved, waffle-textured, and the color of oatmeal. He had no idea how long it had been there, or where it had come from. When he pulled it over his head, it brushed against his skin with a softness he knew he had been missing from every starched, black tunic. It was a little tight across the chest and shoulders--how old was this thing?--but he instantly felt more comfortable, even if the shirt was to be hidden under the First Order tunic.

Fully clothed, he left his chambers with a swirl of his cape. He still had some time, and he would be damned if he kept lying in his bed and feeling bad about himself.

As he walked, he passed by a holo that played at the entrance of one hallway. Pure propaganda, of course. Blocked letters and proud faces claiming the justness and rightness of the First Order.

Once, a long time ago, it would have made him inspired. For a good long while after that, he would have felt indifferent to it. Now, it made him angry, although he wasn’t entirely sure why.

An officer passed and Ben held out an arm to stop him. The officer stamped out a crisp salute.

“Supreme Leader Ren.”

Ben waved a hand. “At ease.”

The officer adjusted his sleeve and refused to lift his eyes to Ben’s. He looked to be in his mid 40’s, hair slightly graying and the beginnings of a paunch forming underneath his eyes.

Ben glanced down the nearby hallways. No one else was around.

“Why did you join the First Order, Officer...Motev?” He peered at the man’s tag.

Officer Motev saluted again and Ben tried to not roll his eyes.

“To make a better universe, sir!” was the response.

Ben twitched a lip. It was the slogan plastered on the holos all around the ship. “Why did you really join?”

Motev shifted and flicked a nervous look up to Ben. “It was my dream, sir.”

This time, Ben really did roll his eyes. “What kind of shit reason is that?” The officer’s eyes went wide at the curse, but he didn’t say anything. “Tell me the truth, Motev, or I will take it from you by force.”

The officer blanched. “I...my mother was an officer sir, in the Empire. I needed a job.”

There, Ben thought, now they were getting somewhere.

“And?” He gestured for Motev to continue.

Motev swallowed. “I thought it was what she would have wanted.”

“‘Would have’?”

“She died in the explosion over Endor, sir. My grandfather, too.”

“So you hate the Rebels.”

“Yes, sir.”

The answer was so quick that Ben could see he wasn’t telling the truth without even having to read his mind.

“You’re lying,” he said.

The officer flinched. There didn’t seem to be any blood left in the man’s face. Ben almost felt guilty.

When Motev spoke, it was with the fearful whisper one would expect from a dog who thought it was going to be kicked.

“I had...someone who defected. I knew his reasons. I couldn’t hate him for that.”

A sense pulled at Ben.

“You loved him,” he said to the officer.

For the first time, Motev lifted his head and looked at Ben. His face was pinched, as if he was holding back strong emotion.

“Yes,” he said.

There was a story here, but Ben didn’t think he had the courage to ask for it.

“So you don’t want to ‘make a better universe’?”

Motev shrugged. “Who doesn’t want that? I’m in it for the paycheck, sir. We eat a lot better than the Rebels.” His eyes jerked to Ben’s and widened at his implication. Panic blossomed across his features and his hand darted briefly to his neck before he forced it down with obvious difficulty.

More guilt panged in Ben’s chest.

“Do others feel this way?”

One of Motev’s eyelids fluttered in a terrified twitch. “I...I don’t know, sir.”

“Tell me.” He struggled between trying for a commanding voice and a sympathetic voice, and found himself awkwardly in between.

“Most everyone, sir.” Motev’s voice broke. “At least those I talk to.”

Well, that was interesting.

Ben pinned Motev’s eyes with his own and waved a glove in front of his face. “You’ll remember none of this conversation.”

The officer blinked and stepped back, then looked up at Ben and saluted.

“Supreme Leader Ren. Can I help you, sir?”

Ben hoped the troubled nature of his thoughts didn’t show on his face.

“No...thank you.” He turned and walked away.

The galaxy was a mess, Ben thought as his boots clomped across the floor, and at one point, he wanted to rule it. But that no longer seemed like such a grand idea. It had lost its pizzaz. Which was unfortunate.

The air tightened around him and the sound of his boots faded.

_Are you leaving yet?_

Ben stopped in the middle of the hallway. _What? You said a couple of hours._

_I, um, I got impatient._

He could practically feel her coy smile. Ben groaned. He wanted to feel that smile against his skin. It took less time than usual to get to the bridge, as he almost ran the entire way there.

“Hux,” he bellowed.

The horrible man straightened and skittered towards him.

“I’m going off to test more flight maneuvers.”

Anger flashed in Hux’s eyes. He probably lost another rabbit contest. Ben tried not to laugh.

“Of course...Supreme Leader.”

Was there a sneer buried in there somewhere? Whatever. Ben didn’t care. He had places to go and a beautiful woman to pleasure.

“Don’t let everything fall apart while I’m gone,” Ben said as he spun around and tried not to sprint to the docking bay.

“Wait, Supreme Leader,” Hux said and scurried up to him.

Ben stopped without turning around. “What?” he snapped.

An uncomfortable hand patted his back.

The _fuck_?

His look of derision could have melted any other person. Which mean that Hux couldn’t have been a person. Maybe he was a robot, created solely for the purpose of irritation. Like C-3PO, but eighteen thousand times worse.

“Good lu--” Hux managed before Ben hurled him across the floor. After a second’s pause to make sure he hadn’t accidentally spun him into any important electronics, Ben left the bridge.

 

#

 

It was worth it, Hux thought to himself around the agony in his shoulder, as he sat in the med bay.

Completely worth it.

A med droid applied another layer of pain relieving cream to the rapidly rising welts on his ribs and collarbone.

“Worth it,” Hux whimpered.

When Ren had last left the ship with a similar excuse, Hux had tried--and failed--to track and listen in on him using his ship. Hux should have known that wouldn’t work; the monster undoubtedly knew exactly where the override switches were for everything.

Which was why this time, Hux had attached a tracking and listening device to Ren’s cape. The moment he heard anything that sounded like ‘Rey’ or ‘Jedi,’ Hux could brand the man as a traitor. And then...oh, and then…

Public execution would be a good look for Ren.

The med droid’s metal hand slipped and bumped Hux’s clavicle, and he let out a shrill yelp.

_Worth it._

 

#

 

As Ben piloted his ship towards the asteroid--no, _their_ asteroid--he couldn’t help but think that all of their meetings had been a little bit too easy; it was almost as if their trysts were orchestrated by some all-powerful being who really, really wanted them to bang.

Her shuttle was already settled on the rock and he nearly tripped over his own feet in his haste to leap out of the seat as soon as he landed. The oxygen mask slipped over his head easily. He paused at the doorway, one hand on his cape. Should he leave it behind? The image of his black-clad self blowing into her shuttle with his black cape billowing behind him wasn’t as alluring as it once was.

No, he might need it. Rey wasn’t the only one who knew how to think up ‘plans.’ He tossed it over an arm.

When the inner door to her shuttle whisked open, she was nowhere to be seen. Ben dropped his mask to the floor and gripped the cape’s fabric more tightly. All of his insecurities, the ones that buzzed at the edges of his mind, started to creep in on him.

Where was she?

Had she finally come to her senses and realized who she had been fucking?

Was this a trap? Were there Resistance fighters lurking around the corner, waiting for him to come in?

No. She wouldn’t do that to him. He at least knew that much.

Ben swallowed roughly as he walked slowly into the shuttle, his pestering thoughts circling his head like rain clouds.

He turned the corner into the main room and his feet stilled. Soft, flickering light came from a few low lamps along the walls and several thick candles set on high counters. Ben had only seen candles a few times, but he decided that he liked them. Not so much because of how they looked, but because of what they were currently lighting.

Or, really, who.

Rey lay on a bed, sprawled across the blankets, her head propped up on a hand, naked except for her coquettish smile.

He wanted to tell her how beautiful she looked. How enticing the curves of her body were. How he could hardly breathe because somehow, the sight of her had sucked all of the air from the room. That he wanted to sink down into that bed beside her and never leave.

“Where’d you get the bed?” he said instead, a little breathlessly. Brilliant, he told himself. Absolutely fucking _brilliant._

“I stole it from one of the spare bedrooms on the base.” Rey looked as if she was holding back a laugh. “Why don’t you come over and try it out?” She patted the empty spot on the blanket beside her.

Ben dropped his cape to the floor. It was all he could do to not fling himself at the bed and onto her. It was amazing how just the sight of her could make his fears flee to the dark recesses of his mind. She was here. She wanted him. He was _wanted_.

He sat on the edge of the bed and took in the sight of her body: the puckish twist to her lips, the rosy nipples on her perfect breasts, the gentle swell of her hip, her loose hair falling over that lovely neck. Ben pulled off his gloves and threw them on top of his cape. The skin of her waist was unbelievably soft and warm under his palm. He wanted to bury himself in her, lose himself in her completely until he had nothing left.

His fingers tightened around her waist absentmindedly, and only when she drew in a light gasp did he lift his eyes to hers. Her lips were wet and parted, her breath came in shallow pants, and her nipples tightened to delicious little buds. Ben leaned down to taste one, pulling it into his mouth. Delicious.

Rey groaned and clutched his head to her chest. He kicked off his boots and climbed on top of her. The warmth of her body radiated even through his clothes. Ben trailed his mouth up her neck, tasted the pulse against her jaw, and looked down at her through the black mane of his own hair.

“You’re so clothed,” she breathed.

“I am,” Ben said, then dipped his head to take her mouth. She tasted of mint and sweetness and something that was delectably _Rey_. He angled his lips against hers and flicked his tongue past her teeth, devouring her moans. Oh, how he loved her sounds. They could be light, keening, and plaintive, or low, groaning, and unabashed. Every moment he wasn’t hearing them was a moment wasted.

Her small hands scrabbled at his tunic and he leaned back on his heels to unfasten his belt. She followed him up, grabbing at the neck of his shirt and was about to tear it off when he grabbed her wrists.

“What?” she said, still trying to grab at the fabric.

“You can’t tear this one off; I’m going to need something to wear back to the ship.”

“Oh,” she said, obviously disappointed.

Ben pulled the shirt over his head and tossed it to the floor. When he looked at Rey again, she was staring at him as if he had chocolate smeared across his chest and she wanted nothing more than to lick it off.

He frowned and looked down. Right, the undershirt. About to pull it off, Rey stopped him.

“It’s...you...it…”

The invisible chocolate seemed to be spread all over his torso.

“You’re looking at me like you want to devour me,” Ben said, a little concerned.

“Oh most definitely,” Rey said without pause. Her eyes continued to roam over him, then met his. “It’s not black.”

“Um, no,” he said.

It seemed difficult for Rey to swallow. “You look really good when you’re not wearing black.”

“Really?” Ben glanced back down at the shirt.

“But not good enough to keep wearing it.” And with that, she slipped her hands under the hem, and pulled it over his head to join the pile on the floor.

Oh, _fuck_ , her hot mouth was everywhere. Ben had never even thought that his nipples were something that needed attention, nor his pectorals, nor the dusky line of hair that trailed down from his belly button, but Rey soon showed him the error of those thoughts. His erection pushed at her through his clothes and she wriggled around it, nudging and pressing while she divested him of his pants.

Her hands fisted in the waistband of his underwear and started to pull them down, and he was 140% ready to push her legs apart and drive himself into her sweet body, but a voice called out through the Force:

_Control, control, you must learn control!_

Ben eased her hands off of his waistband.

Rey gave a little ‘mmph’ of frustration as he sat again on his heels.

“I want to try something,” he said. A skeptical look crossed her face. “Don’t worry,” he added, “I’ve seen the thoughts in your mind. You’ll enjoy it.”

She opened her mouth to speak, but Ben cut her off.

“You’re not the only one with plans,” he said with a smirk.

With a little laugh, Rey gave him one of her wide smiles, the ones that made his chest tighten and his cock throb.

“I trust you,” she said.

More beautiful words had never been spoken. Ben slid off the bed, pulled Rey towards him, and then flipped her to her stomach with an ‘Eep!’ so that her feet were on the floor. He had many plans, of course, but it turned out that this plan fit perfectly with the height of the ‘stolen’ bed.

He leaned over her, pressing his body flush against hers from chest to groin, then used one foot to ease her legs apart. She wriggled underneath him, grinding her ass against the cloth covering his erection.

“No you don’t,” he whispered into her ear as he held her still with a hand on her hip. His mouth fastened on her shoulder and she moaned.

 _We’re going to play a game, my dear little Rey_ , he thought into her. He wasn’t sure why, but it seemed far less embarrassing to think such things directly into her mind than say them out loud. He was still fairly new at this, after all. The shuttle was far too quiet to hear his own voice bouncing back at him and saying such ridiculous things like, “We’re going to play a game.”

“Oh?” she said, part question, part moan.

Ben stood up behind her, one hand still on her hip.

_I’m going to play with your pussy--_

“Mmh,” she groaned in approval and waggled her hips at him.

“I’m not...I’m not finished,” he said and stilled her again. “Work with me, please.”

“Oh, sorry.” She held back a smile as she looked back at him, one cheek pressed against the blankets.

 _I’m going to play with your pussy,_ he went on _, but you’re not allowed to help. If you do, if you grind yourself against me, or try to further yourself along, you’ll be punished. And only when you’re begging for it, pleading for my cock, I’ll fuck you._

A little laugh bubbled up from her throat.

“You’re not making this any easier,” Ben grumbled. “We can do something else if you--”

“No!” she interrupted. “No, I want to.” Her expression was sincere, and even excited. “Please Ben,” she said through a sultry pout and fluttered her eyelashes over her shoulder, “please play with my pussy.”

At those words, his cock strained through his underwear so viciously that he was surprised he didn’t hear the sound of ripping fabric. Maybe this was a little too advanced for him. Maybe he was in over his head with this.

No. Control. Control. He took a deep breath.

_Do you want to know how you’ll be punished?_

Rey nodded against the bedsheets.

He flattened his hand and swatted at her ass.

She let out a barking laugh. “Really? Is that it? You ‘punish’ like a maternity droid.”

Ben growled low in his throat, pulled his arm back, and brought his hand against the round curve of her ass with a loud smack.

“Ow! Fuck!” she shouted and sent him an indignant glare.

“Shit, sorry! Sorry!” He gently massaged her skin. “I was trying not to be a maternity droid.”

Rey laughed into the bed. “I couldn’t think of anything else.”

A pink imprint of his hand was blooming on her ass, the span covering nearly her entire cheek. A little guiltily, he realized that he liked the sight of her like this: marked and branded by him. She had claimed he was ‘hers,’ now he was doing the same, although with a red handprint instead of words.

Ben tried again on her other cheek, partway between the gentle swat and the hard smack, and she rewarded him with a throaty groan, muffled by the blankets.

“How was that?” he said.

She nodded rapidly.

Then Ben did what he promised he would do. He played.

His fingers ran lightly over her clit and her soft skin, exploring and roaming without purpose. He kept his touch light and teasing, never pushing into her, never giving her the pressure he knew that she needed. Her moans came faster and every time he passed a finger over her cunt, it came away with more of her wetness. She didn’t move her hips, yet her hands gripped the blankets by her head and her body trembled as she squeaked out cries of frustration and pleasure.

Ben stole a look into her mind. She was closing in on orgasm; he could feel the tingling throb beginning in her legs and creeping higher. Couldn’t have that, not yet. He dragged his fingers away from her core and stroked them down the insides of her thighs.

Rey’s shrill cry was one of pure irritation. One hand clutched the blanket more tightly as the other crept down low, keeping it close to her body in an attempt to sneakily masturbate.

Ben saw, of course, and pinned both of her wrists above her head with one of his hands. Gigantic paws were useful for that, at least.

“What did I tell you?” he rasped into her ear.

He couldn’t understand her answer, and then couldn’t hear the rest of it over the sound of his palm smacking her ass.

More unintelligible cries came from her. Ben could only pick out ‘fuck’ and ‘Ben.’ He traced a gentle line down her back.

“Did you like that?” He’d intended to sound aloof and a bit smug, as if he knew how she would respond, but because he couldn’t ever completely turn off his worries, and because he really wanted to hear the honest answer, it came out more anxious than he’d hoped.

“Ye-e-es.” The rapidly tangling blankets muffled Rey’s groan.

Oh, thank the stars.

So he kept teasing her: gently stroking, barely pinching, pressing harder for a split second before moving down to the backs of her thighs and the soft skin of her ass.

Rey’s body vibrated under his touch and her noises burst from her throat in broken gasps. When his fingers passed over her--ohfuckingfuck-- _dripping_ cunt, her hips jerked off of the bed and forced the tips of his fingers inside her. His hand twitched and the motion let him explore her slippery skin, just a little.

As much as he wanted to continue, Ben had made a plan, and he would be damned if he didn’t follow through with his plan. Even though her back arched and her wrists strained under his hand as he spanked her, and even though the lips of her pussy were sweetly pink and swollen, and even though he could so perfectly imagine how it would feel to slip the head of his cock within them and be surrounded by her silky wetness, and how the exquisite pressure and tightness would grip his shaft as he filled her with it, and--

Ben shuddered. Peeking into her mind, he wasn’t sure if Rey could endure much more of his teasing, and frankly, based on the near-painful throb of his cock, he wasn’t sure that he could either.

He was no longer touching her, he noticed, just staring at her pussy.

Rey wriggled on the blankets. “Get inside me,” she practically sobbed.

 _Thank the fucking stars_. “What do you say?”

“Please, Ben, please, please fuck me.” Her voice was tight and breathless.

Without releasing her wrists, he Forced his underwear into nonexistence. He heard a rip and felt them fly off somewhere, but he couldn’t care enough to see where. Ben positioned himself at her soaked entrance, covering himself with her slick heat, spreading it over the taut skin of his cock. He pushed into her with a moan of gratification. She was so warm, so wet, so, so tight. Ben wanted to live here, inside of her body, forever. (See, now t _hat_ was something one would say during a wild fucking that they would regret later.)

Rey moaned, but as he pushed deeper, he saw as she winced and gripped the blankets.

Fuck.

He should have prepared her more. Ben’s body was proportional to itself. His large hands matched his large feet, which matched his large frame, which matched...well, everything else. Before Rey, he had never thought much about the size of his dick (except for the First Order propaganda that sought to belittle him in every way once he joined, which of course resulted in that ridiculous cock ring fiasco when he and Rey first had sex). His penis size hadn’t seemed of much importance. He hadn’t used it with anyone else, after all. But Rey loved his size. He had seen it in her mind, that she relished the feeling of fullness, the stretching of her pussy to accommodate him, and for that reason, he had become thoroughly aware of his penis, in many ways.

Ben withdrew from her tight grip, even though everything in his body railed against the action.

She whimpered as he flipped her to her back and knelt between her legs. He had used the Force before to bring her to orgasm, but Ben had come to realize that he liked doing it the traditional way so much more.

“I want you to come for me,” he murmured against her soaked lips.

“All right,” she said in a strangled moan.

He licked and sucked at her, but he had barely started before she screamed, clenching him between her thighs and arching her back. As much as he knew he should gain joy from the rapidity of her climax brought about by all of his teasing, Ben knew that she would need more than that. Besides, he had barely started. _He_ needed more than that. He wanted to fucking _worship_ her cunt.

Ben kissed the inside of her hip as Rey came down from her orgasm. He circled a finger around her and she gripped his head, threading her fingers through his hair.

“I want you to come again for me,” Ben said into her skin. “Can you do that, love?”

“O-okay,” she said, as if he had just asked her to partake in an eight-course meal after weeks of eating pre-packaged rations.

He dipped his head, but paused when he heard her trying to speak.

“Can...can you…”

“Yes?”

“I want you to talk to me, Ben,” she said softly, “tell me what you want to do.”

Thank the stars for their bond.

As he laved her with his tongue and sucked on her clit, and pushed a finger into her, he sent the thoughts into her mind.

 _I want to fuck you until you can’t stand up and your legs are jelly_. He added another finger and the two worked together, curling inside her and stroking her front wall. _I want to rail you_ _so hard that you feel it for days._ She moaned and he felt her tighten around him. _I want to fall asleep inside you and when we wake up we’ll start all over again._ His tongue flickered over her clit and the muscles in her legs made that rapid flutter that told him he was doing something entirely right. Her trembling hands gripped his head. She was pulling at his hair without realizing, and the tension on his scalp made him groan into her. He pushed a third finger inside her and she bucked into his mouth, letting out a guttural cry and a string of ‘yes’es. _I want your pussy to be the last thing I eat before bed and the first thing I have in the morning. I want my cum all over your chest and in your mouth and on your ass._ The thoughts passed from his head to hers without so much as a pause. _I want to tie your hands to the ceiling and get on my knees in front of you and fuck your pussy with my tongue._ Through their bond, he felt the surging tide of her orgasm approach: the tingle in her toes, the spreading warmth through her limbs. _I want to take your foot and suck on your toes--_

“What?” The appalled tone in her voice made him halt his movements and his thoughts.

He looked up at her over the mound of her pussy and saw that she had pushed herself to her elbows, hair clinging to the sweat that coated her skin, face flushed and lips parted around breath that came in ragged gulps. Glassy eyes stared down at him in shock.

“You want to _what_ with my toes?”

Ben cleared his throat. “Um..I, uh, I’m sorry. I take it back. I just saw it in a holo, and--”

Rey shook her head. “No, it’s just…” She bit her lip and her eyes flitted to a corner of the shuttle. “Have you _seen_ my boots?”

He followed her gaze. The heavy, brown boots slumped on the floor. Thick, dirty, stifling things, that had seen more years than he could imagine.

Rey’s muffled laugh brought him back to her. She was covering her mouth with the back of her hand, but when she saw him start to smile, she threw her head back and let her laughter ring out through the shuttle. Ben couldn’t help but join in.

He stilled when Rey did. She was staring at him with an odd expression. He felt his face fall. Had something startled her about his laugh? It wasn’t the clear, bright one that she had. It was softer, lower, more of a huff, and he was positive that his wide grin was crooked, and twin creases sunk into his cheeks on either side of his mouth.

Before he could ask her if anything was wrong, Rey had thrown herself against him and was kissing him vigorously, like she had done when they first entered his chambers on the _Supremacy_.

When she finally pulled away, she gave him a shy smile.

“I’ve been wanting to kiss that laugh for weeks,” she said.

Oh, he was so fucked.

She stood at the edge of the bed then turned around and bent over it, looking over her shoulder with a wink.

“Come on, then,” she purred.

Ben didn’t have to be told twice.

She didn’t wince at all, this time. Her back arched underneath him, letting him in even deeper, and the glorious sound of skin slapping against skin filled the shuttle. He pushed her into the mattress so that her feet were no longer on the floor. Her hands clutched at the blankets and...was she...was she _biting_ the fabric?

Oh, stars above.

Ben reached around, shoving his hand in between her body and the bed, and rubbed her slippery clit with his fingers. The more he rubbed, the more her hips pinned his hand and prevented him from rubbing.

This wasn’t going to work.

He pulled out of her, despite her muffled protests.

“Get on top of me,” he said around deep lungfuls of air. As soon as he flopped onto the bed, she straddled him and guided his cock back inside.

They’d never done this position before, and Ben had an extremely difficult time seeing why they _hadn’t_ . He could see every inch of her, from her mussed hair, to her perfect expressions, to the gentle bounce of her perfect breasts, to the-- _fuck_ \--to the jaw-dropping sight of his thick cock sliding in and out of her perfect cunt. For several moments, Ben just lay back and watched, then he brought his thumb to her clit and rubbed her as she rode him, reveling in the escalation of her moans. There was something building inside him: something big, something frightening.

“Rey,” Ben gasped. She grinned-- _grinned_ \--down at him. He found himself in that former headspace of thinking a thought and having it go directly out of his mouth without any pause. The big, frightening thing inside him surged upwards and bubbled out of his mouth.

“I lied,” he blurted.

Rey stilled and frowned down at him. “About what?”

“About maybe being in love with you.”

Her mouth drifted open into a moue of shock and hurt, and _fuck_ , that hadn’t come out in the way he’d intended, but he had to say it, so he kept going.

“There’s no ‘maybe’ about it. I just... _am_. Completely. Utterly. Head over heels, and smitten, and infatuated, and whatever all of that means. I...I don’t know how else to describe it.” She was still staring down at him. Ben’s heart seized in his chest and he knew that even though he was still inside her, this was the moment that she laughed at him and he realized it had been one-sided. His charisma had always sucked, but it really, really sucked at this moment.

“Ben…” Rey breathed, her face soft and smiling and angelic (at least, if angels existed and could look angelic while naked and straddling a cock). She leaned forward and touched her forehead to his. “I feel it too.”

Ben felt the brush of her mind against his and then the overwhelming pleasure as it unfurled around him. He saw himself: laughing, striding forward, lying naked next to her own nakedness, infinite possibilities reflected in the dark brown of his eyes. His heart seemed too large for his chest and his stomach fluttered and leaped in excitement, and a joyous fullness and brightness and love radiated from the core of his being. They weren’t _his_ feelings, though, they were Rey’s. And that was how she felt whenever she was with him. Happy. Peaceful. _Whole_.

The peppy, optimistic part of Ben’s mind peeked out with a smug ‘I told you so.’

Rey pulled back and they stared at each other.

“I love you,” Ben said. It burst into the air around him and made his entire being feel as if it was alive with sparks.

Rey’s body went rigid above him and then she was crying out, arching and spasming, raking her nails across his chest, gripping and squeezing his cock with her pussy, and Ben was trying to come to terms with the fact that he might have just made a woman come by telling her that he loved her, when she collapsed on top of him, panting into his shoulder.

“Ben,” she got out around gulps of air. “Please…”

“I don’t know what to do,” he said honestly.

Rey gripped his hips. “Thrust. Up.”

Ben bent his legs and planted the soles of his feet on the bed. His first thrust may have been a little too enthusiastic, based on Rey’s startled squeak, but the second and third were just right. He gripped handfuls of her ass and shoved her down against his thrusts and she wailed his name into the stars. Ben snaked his hand through the hair at the nape of her neck and pulled her down in to a kiss. His lips moved against hers and her tongue tangled with his and he wondered how one person could possibly get closer to another person than this.

He drove in harder and harder, feeling his own climax swiftly approaching.

“Oh shit,” he grunted against her mouth, “I’m going to--”

“Wait!” Rey cried. “Not yet!”

It took every single ounce of his self control, but Ben stilled as she rose off of him.

“Why?” he panted, trying not to make it sound like a curse.

“I…” She blushed. “I want you to finish in my mouth.”

“Yes,” Ben said. “Yes, please.”

She pulled him to the edge of the bed--or, really, she tried to pull him with her body but had to resort to pulling him with the Force--and sunk to her knees, looking up at him as she took his cream-covered cock into her mouth and started to suck.

 _Fuck fuck fuck_.

Ben tried to think of engine parts, or history dates, or literally anything, but it was too much.

_I want you to...oh, I want…_

_Say it,_ Rey thought back at him. She raised her eyes to his and smiled around his cock.

“Oh fuck yes,” he gasped. “Take my cum, Rey. Take it all.” (And that was _definitely_ something he would later feel embarrassed about saying.)

As she groaned around his shaft, his orgasm rocketed through his body, from his toes to the end of his cock, and she sucked it out of him, swallowing it, then swirled her tongue around his head at the end, making him shudder and tremble like a...like some newborn animal. He could only think of ‘hamster,’ and he absolutely _knew_ that was incorrect, but when a wanton sex goddess has just wrung every drop of cum out of your dick and is still gently lapping at it like it’s the most delicious treat, just try and think of something better than that.

 

#

 

Hux had heard enough. Or, really, more than enough. He had reached ‘enough’ some time ago, but kept listening just to be certain. The recording device must have been muffled by some of the cape’s fabric, but thankfully, Hux wasn’t in the fucking dark ages and had such wonderful tools as ‘rewind’ and ‘enhance.’ The words were there; those spectacular words that showed very clearly that Ren was no longer the leader the First Order thought him to be. He was weak. He was cavorting with the enemy. And, most assuredly, he was a traitor.

Hux tore the headset off and spiked it onto the floor where it shattered and flew across the bridge. Several people stared. One cowered. One suppressed a chuckle. Hux would kill that one later.

Now, he had a Supreme Leader to usurp.

 

#

 

Ben collapsed backwards onto the bed. The shuttle air seemed far too thin, for his mind couldn’t function properly. He stared at the ceiling, not really seeing it, and tried to get his eyelids to work in sync again.

The sound of gargling drew his attention to Rey, who was swishing water around in her mouth at the far end of the bed. She swallowed, then took another swig from the flexible bladder and did it again.

“Did I taste that bad?”

Rey wiped her mouth with the back of a hand and smiled at him. “No, it’s not your fault. I’ve never done that before. I didn’t really know what to expect.”

“Oh.” Ben made a mental note to do some research on improving the palatability of one’s jizz. “Come here.” He held out an arm in the universal gesture for wanting a snuggle. She scooted over and burrowed into his torso as he wrapped his arms around her, and she let out a little hum of happiness. Her warmth flooded into him as they lay nestled against one another.

“What do we do now?” Rey said softly against his chest.

“We can keep lying here,” Ben said, “and in a little while I can eat you out and fuck you again.”

Rey giggled into him and he smiled against her hair. She stilled with a heavy sigh.

“No,” she said, “I meant...I love you, and you love me. What...Ben, what do we _do_?” She looked up at him, brown-green eyes wide and sad. “Where do we go from here?”

He tucked her back under his arm. “We don’t have to go anywhere, not yet.”

Her sharp breath told him that it wasn’t the direction she wanted the conversation to go, but she’d accept it for the moment.

“You never ask me to join you anymore.” The air from her words brushed against his neck, as light as a Porg feather.

“No,” he said. “I suppose...I don’t want you to.”

Rey lifted her head and narrowed her eyes at him. “What’s that supposed to--”

“Not...it’s not like that, I didn’t mean…” Ben heaved a deep sigh. It would be nice, someday, to be able to use language correctly. “I wanted you to join me in ruling the galaxy,” he continued. “But I don’t even know if _I_ want to rule the galaxy. Not anymore.” His confession came out as soft as a breath, almost like he couldn’t bear to hear the words said aloud.

“Oh?”

In another life, he would have hated how hopeful she sounded.

Ben frowned down at Rey, who had re-established herself in the crook of his arm. She smiled at him with barely restrained giddiness and bit her lip. The sight made tension pool in his groin. Apparently being celibate for three decades did wonders for one’s refractory period. He shoved the simmering lust away for the moment, instead brushing his large thumb over the muscles in Rey’s shoulder.

“I think the First Order is one step away from crumbling,” he said as if thinking aloud.

“What do you mean?”

Ben scoffed. “It seems that people don’t join the Order to ‘make a better universe’.”

An undignified snort came from the woman beside him. “Was that really the motto?”

Ben pursed his lips. “ _I_ didn’t make it up.” Her fingers traced alongside the bottom of his ribcage and he lost himself in the sensation until her hand came to rest on his stomach.

“Why do they join?” she asked.

“Evidently for the food.”

She perked up. “Is it that good?”

Ben shrugged. “The Penne all’Arrabbiata is decent, I suppose.”

“What’s...Pennay Arrab...Ariabata?”

“Pasta. They served it all the time on the Death Star.”

“How does it--”

“Rey,” Ben chided softly. “I think you’re missing the point.”

“That your Order is only a mass of people who want to live as best as they can, and if that means blowing up star systems, they’ll do it because at least it means another meal for them and their loved ones?”

“Er...That would be it, yes.”

“What will you do?”

Ben stared at the ceiling. “I have absolutely no idea.”

Rey shuffled on top of him so she stared down into his eyes.

“I think you could--”

But she wasn’t allowed to finish her thought.

The entire shuttle shuddered as if it had been seized on all sides, and before Ben could make a fully-formed thought about the asteroid having fell space-beasts on it after all, a horrifyingly familiar voice crackled through the ship’s audio.

“Kylo Ren,” it said, “you are under arrest for treason. This ship will be delivered to the _Supremacy,_ whereupon your delivery, you will be received and summarily executed.”

The shuttle lurched and began to rise from the asteroid as Ben and Rey scrambled to their feet and shoved their bodies into clothing. They were being pulled away by a tractor beam, which mean that a larger ship couldn’t be far at all. Ben’s mind whirled; his thoughts coming from every direction and pummeling him without pause. There wasn’t any way to escape the shuttle, but perhaps the larger ship wasn’t quite large enough, and they could punch the engine hard enough to break from the beam. He had leaped to the controls, Rey catching his thought and slamming into the seat beside him, when the shuttle rotated slightly and through the shuttle window, the vast width of the _Supremacy_ filled his vision.

“See you soon,” Hux said over the comm before it cut to silence.

 

Fucking.

Hux.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those of you who have kept up on reading this ridiculous pile of smut, thank you!! (!!!!!!!!!!!) Your comments and support keep the smut train chugging away. We're nearing the end of the tracks, but because the train is running low on fuel and keeps derailing to work on its job and its eight billion other hobbies, it's not going to go screaming around corners any time soon. (It's still thankful for all of you, though, even though it's just a really weird metaphor thought up by a sleep-deprived conductor.)
> 
> P.S. I call dibs on calling my yet-uncreated band The Smut Train.


	6. In Which A Battle Takes Place and Someone Dies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was then that Ben realized two very important things:  
> One, that he actually had no idea how the Force worked.  
> And two, Rey was strong as *shit*.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Smut Train stops for nothing!  
> ...Except for the large drifts of plot that have accumulated on the tracks, after an especially heavy plot front coming in from the Nor’east…  
> But then after that, the Smut Train stops for nothing!
> 
> So the beginning of this chapter depends on the continuity of Luke’s lightsaber still being broken, which I kind of glossed over in Chapter the First, because I honestly did not see this fic getting this far. Maybe I’ll get up the gumption to go back and add an in-story reason why the lightsaber is broken, or maybe I’ll just leave it as it is and wave the ‘Suspension of Disbelief’ flag. It’s like a flag of surrender, but less surrender-y.
> 
> Also, violence and gore abound in this short chapter. Reader discretion advised.

Most of the time, Ben knew how to keep his cool. 

_ Most _ of the time. 

Not all of the time--and he was absolutely aware of this--but for every furious breakdown where he decimated several thousand credits worth of electronics with his lightsaber, he had at least ten moments where he responded to stressful situations with a calm that would make even Luke Skywalker envious. 

This was not one of those moments.

As the  _ Supremacy’s  _ tractor beam pulled their shuttle closer to whatever inevitable fight awaited on board, Ben was about a minute from panicking. His palms prickled with sweat underneath his gloves, his heart pounded in his ears and in his temples and somehow in his tongue, and his throat felt like it was halfway shut. 

He didn’t have any idea  _ why _ , exactly, his body and his brain felt the need to react in such a way; Ben had been in worse situations than this more times than he could count, and those never pumped him so full of adrenaline that it felt as if his heart was about to gallop out of his chest and flee into the night. 

“Ben?”

He turned at the sound of her voice, and then it all made sense. 

It was because of Rey. Because he couldn’t stand the thought of something happening to her, especially right now, after they had finally admitted the depth of their feelings towards one another. 

But wasn’t that how irony worked? An officer a day from retirement gets blasted by an enemy on the one mission he decides to forgo armor, because it’s his last day, and what’s the worst that could happen? Parents send their child off to Jedi Day Camp because they think Uncle Luke will be adequate protection from evil, but Uncle Luke instead becomes the catalyst for the youngster’s flight to the Dark Side. Or, two people who should despise each other but somehow, magically, are now lovers, have come to understand what they mean to each other and discover that it’s actually fucking  _ love _ , (and how often does that happen in a galaxy with four trillion sentient beings?) but before anything can come of this realization, the lovers get sucked into a giant spaceship and murdered by backstabbing minions. 

Maybe the last example wasn’t exactly irony, but Ben was one step further into panicking, so he didn’t want to stop and analyze it. 

The shuttle gave a final shudder as it passed into the docking bay, and through the window Ben watched the cold metal of the  _ Supremacy _ replace the black glittering veil of space.

Rey’s hand closed around his gloved one. Her beautiful eyes stared up at him, wide yet determined. 

“Let’s do this, Ben.” 

He nodded wordlessly and let her lead him to the airlock doors. The shuttle slowed, and then stopped. Ben gripped his lightsaber as Rey tightened her hands on her blaster. She’d need a lightsaber of her own, someday. He would have loved to help her build it, and loved to see what color it would be. 

They stood together, light and dark, and waited. 

Then, without warning, he couldn’t feel the Force: couldn’t sense the people outside the shuttle, couldn’t feel Rey’s heartbeats or breath. Her presence in the Force, in the universe, in  _ him _ , had utterly winked out. Ben’s chest contracted involuntarily while his eyes scrunched shut. It felt as though he was being sucked out into space, into a soundless empty void bereft of all air and warmth.

But, no. He looked down at his boots still standing on the shuttle floor, at the vents still recycling air through the ship. 

He opened his mouth to ask what the  _ fuck _ had just happened, but the expression on Rey’s face told him that she had felt the same thing, and had no idea what it was either. 

When the outer door cracked open and a little sphere flew into the airlock, the ensuing explosion cut short any more thoughts.

All Ben knew was fire and light and heat. The thundering crack speared his brain, and the scorching pressure threw him onto his back. He sucked in smoke, fried electronics, and singed hair. His vision blurred and doubled. He could barely see the outline of Rey beside him. She coughed harshly and reached a hand out. 

Frantic, Ben was about to grab on to her when boots rattled the floor and rough hands grabbed his body, practically dragging him into the hangar. His aching lungs sucked in the sterile, filtered air. He swiveled his head to find Rey, and when he did, rage tore through him like wildfire. A Praetorian guard was dragging her down the ramp, partly by her arm and partly by her hair. She thrashed and cursed until the guard threw her to the shining floor. Her lip was bloody and she had a long gash on a cheek. 

Ben threw out a hand and twisted it as if he was snapping the guard’s neck.

Nothing happened. 

His knees barked in pain as the two guards holding him forced him to his knees, their fingers digging into the flesh on his shoulders, their weapons snapping and crackling by his ears.

He concentrated on his anger and pulled on the Light that was always inside Rey, combining the two to push backwards on the two guards pinning him to his knees.

Again, nothing. He couldn’t feel Rey. The lack of sensation was worse than any pain. Their bond through the Force had nestled into him, somewhere deep in his chest: warm, reassuring, constant. Its absence left him with a chill that rattled his bones. She was in front of him, glowering at the circle of guards surrounding them, breathing and living and strong, but he had no sense of her. 

Desperately, Ben tried to push the guard by Rey again.

“It looks rather funny, when you do it like that,” Hux said as he stepped around a guard and stood in front of Ben, arms across his chest, an insufferably smug look on his punchable face. “I just got these guards, and you’re trying to destroy them with hand gestures. Clownish, really.”

“What have you done?” Ben snarled. 

Hux jerked a finger over his shoulder. “Special stone thing,” he said. “Made from lizards. Or pumice. I don’t know.” He stared intently at the ceiling. “It takes away your…” he waggled his fingers at Ben and wrinkled his nose, “...space magic.” 

One of the guards behind Hux held an oblong, rough-looking stone in the crook of his arm. Ben had heard of lizards that exuded a bubble within which no one could use the Force, but he’d sequestered the knowledge in the part of his mind reserved for bedtime stories and terrible jokes. 

“I just received it today,” Hux said, a terrible glint in his red-rimmed eyes. “It’s fascinating, isn’t it?”

Ben bared his teeth, which made Hux scoff. 

“Down, boy.” Hux stepped in front of Ben and stared down at him. He didn’t stand too close, though, just barely out of reach. The idiot wasn’t  _ that _ much of an idiot, it seemed. At the moment, Ben felt like he could rip the man apart with his bare hands. 

“What’s wrong with you?” Hux said, appalled. 

“What’s wrong with  _ you _ ?” Ben bit back.

“ _ I’m _ asking the questions!” Hux shrieked and backhanded him. It was weak, yet Hux’s knuckle cracked against the bridge of Ben’s nose and his eyes watered. 

“You were the golden boy, the flawless leader! You could do no wrong in anyone’s eyes!” The veins in Hux’s neck pulsed with every word and spittle flew from his mouth. “You massacred your way to the top, and then once you were there--” He sucked in a shuddering breath, “--you betrayed  _ everyone _ . For... _ that _ .” Hux thrust a finger at Rey.

The look he gave her, as if she was a piece of discarded, moldy food, made Ben want to tear Hux’s face off. He struggled under the guard’s hands, straining to leap up and needing to  _ rend _ , but a third guard pressed him deeper into the floor. 

He felt so weak, so completely useless, as Hux approached Rey. She seethed at him and twisted against the guards that held her arms behind her back. 

“You should speak of betrayal,” Rey snapped. “You wormed your way up behind his back. You’re a pathetic waste of breath.”

Hux lashed out and grabbed her jaw, peering into her face. He glanced back at Ben.

“You’re going to be executed, you know,” he said calmly. “For treason. Because of her.” His lip curled. “I hope she was a good enough fuck to be worth it.” 

Before Ben could make a move, Rey twisted her head in Hux’s grasp and bit down on the flesh between his thumb and forefinger. Hard. 

Hux reared backwards with a scream as blood gushed from his hand. 

“You...you  _ bitch _ ...” His voice squeaked with disbelief.

Rey grinned at him with bloodstained teeth, and Ben had never felt more love for anyone as he did in that moment. Which he did admit wasn’t entirely rational, and probably far from ‘normal.’ 

With a cry of exertion, Hux struck out with a fist and punched Rey in the stomach. She doubled over, wheezing. Ben roared and surged to his feet--or, he tried to, before the guards shoved him back down. One put him in a chokehold, cutting off air long enough for bright flashes of light to appear in his vision. His body slumped when the guard released. That fucking lizard. He would shove it down Hux’s throat. 

Hux bit off a curse.

“You know,” he said, “the whole reason for not blowing you up on that damn asteroid was so that I could record your death.” He pulled himself upright, eyes furious and unhinged while he clutched his bleeding hand. Glistening droplets pooled on the black floor. “I should have done it. It would have saved us all a lot of trouble. But I want all of the First Order to see you die, Kylo Ren.  _ Ben Solo _ .” He said the last words with palpable disgust. “I want the entire galaxy to see your head roll from your shoulders.” Hux’s body started to shake as the venomous words spilled from him. “I want to see your corpses float off into the nothingness of space. I want to watch as your heads rot, and then  _ feed _ them to that laughable excuse of a resistance.” A deranged laugh burst from him. “I want you to die by your own blade, Kylo Ren.”

A guard brought Ben’s lightsaber over to Hux, who gripped it with glee. “I would broadcast it live over all of the systems, but your god-awful ship seems to need repairs on the proper tech for that.” He ignited the blade, though he jumped a little when it buzzed to life. Ben wanted to laugh at Hux, at the pitiful reaction to his own weapon. 

One of the Praetorian guards behind Ben yanked his head back using a handful of his hair. Pain seared his scalp and brought the room into sharper focus. Hux held the blade out, inches from Ben’s throat. 

“Shall I do it slowly?” Hux murmured to himself. “It must cauterize as it goes. Maybe you won’t bleed out before I get to your spine.”

Ben’s eyes flicked to Rey. She was straining, screaming, her tears running down her face. He wanted to tell her not to cry, wanted to tell her, ‘I love you,’ but the thoughts bounced off the inside of his skull, caged and silenced. Could she see it in his expression? Could she remember how the words sounded?

The heat of the lightsaber tickled the skin of his neck and its spitting crackle seemed to laugh in his ear. 

_ What did you think would happen? _ a voice whispered into his mind. Why didn’t he think of the consequences when it mattered? Why didn't he have an iota of self-control? He would do it all over again, though, if given the choice. There was no denying that. It wasn’t just that they could read each other’s thoughts. It wasn’t that they’d saved each other’s lives. It wasn’t just because they happened to be phenomenally compatible in bed. It wasn’t just that he loved her from the freckles on her forehead down to the tips of her old-boot-scented toes. 

He wanted a to have a life with her with every fibre of his being, so he had ignored the reasons why they shouldn’t be together and instead focused on that one hope. 

And how he couldn’t tell her…

No. He didn’t  _ have _ to tell her. 

She knew.

She would always know.

Rey let out a bellowing shout and when he looked over, she had freed her hands and was hurling one of the guards over shoulder. The Praetorian guard crashed to the floor with a groan and she swiped his double-bladed halberd, using it to gut the guard behind her. 

Shock blanched Hux’s pasty skin until it almost glowed. 

A more excellent distraction could never have presented itself. 

Ben wrenched his arm backwards and elbowed the guard behind him in the crotch. His elbow zinged as it crunched the plate, but before the guard even fell, Ben’s fist had darted forward to connect with Hux’s unprotected groin. The man groaned and collapsed to his knees, eyes bulging. 

A crackling blade scythed down at Ben’s shoulder. He rolled away from it just as it skimmed his jacket and he kicked out at another guard’s kneecap. When that guard fell with a strangled cry, Ben snatched the guard’s sword-length blade and swung it down into the exposed neck. 

There were originally ten guards; now they were down to six. Rey had been a whirlwind when she had fought with her simple staff, and with her current electric weapon, she was a hurricane. 

Movement caught Ben’s eye and he raised his blade just in time to block the downward swing of a guard’s buzzing chain. The chain hissed and sparked as it wrapped around Ben’s short sword. He tried to yank it out of the chain’s grip, but the guard’s weapon held fast. Satisfaction bloomed across the guard’s mind. Hand over red-gloved hand, he pulled the chain closer, pulling Ben right along, until electricity danced inches from his body. Ben relaxed for a split second. The guard, thrown off balance by the sudden change, stumbled backwards. Before could gain his feet, Ben dove towards the guard and thrust his sizzling sword through the guard’s helmet. 

Hux had been an idiot, after all. He had believed that the Force was the only weapon of Rey and himself; their only strength. He had thought that they hid behind the all-directing powers of their ‘space magic,’ and without it, would be easily conquered. He hadn’t considered the former scavenger who needed to defend herself with a glorified stick while pulling herself up Star Destroyers using only her hands and a rope, or the student-turned-apprentice-turned-leader who trained for hours every day and could snap a Praetorian guard’s neck with one twist of his arms. 

Rookie mistake. 

Four guards left, then three. 

Ben hurled the third guard to the ground with a smoking hole in his red torso. 

“Ren!”

The cry made him spin around, right as Hux thrust Ben’s lightsaber deep into his stomach. 

He thought it would hurt more, really. 

The spitting saber singed the fabric on his tunic and it shriveled away from the blade. The light made his exposed skin glow a flickering red, and the thought crossed Ben’s mind that maybe his skin wasn’t reflecting the light, but it was instead glowing from the inside, like cloth stretched over a lamp. He had become a lamp. 

Ben Solo, to Kylo Ren, to just Ben, to Lamp. 

It wasn’t a flattering development. 

Rey screamed somewhere to his right and it brought him back to the fact that he’d just been fatally wounded. 

Hux was grinning, inches away, chunks of no longer slicked-back hair spearing across a face lit by quavering red. He whipped the saber out of Ben’s body and, oh, right there,  _ there _ was the pain. 

It hit him all at once--scouring his veins and thrashing across his nerves, blinding in its intensity. Ben’s body bowed forward as his stomach howled in agony, but then he realized that he probably didn’t  _ have _ much of a stomach anymore. Or a pancreas. He crashed onto his knees. Despair oozed through him, toxic and sludgy. He despised looking up at Hux. There wasn’t any other option at the moment, though. The edges of his vision were growing black.

“You fought for nothing, Ren,” Hux panted. Past his hip, Ben watched as Rey cut down another Praetorian guard, practically bisecting the red figure. The last guard, the one holding the petrified lizard, flung his electro chain whip at her. She dodged the first throw, but didn’t see the second one coming. It glanced off her hip and she fell, skidding across the slick floor. 

Hux nodded in her direction. “If he doesn’t get her, I’m sure a blaster will.” His free, injured hand twitched towards the holster Ben knew would be inside his jacket. The only redeeming quality about Hux was that he was an excellent shot. Once Ben was dead, Rey would be next. No matter how fast she was, she couldn’t dodge a blaster. And without the Force, he couldn’t stop the bolt.

“Where’s your backup?” Ben managed to get out. His voice sounded weaker than he wanted it to. “Where are the legions of Stormtroopers that will come to finish it?”

Hux laughed, high and tight. “They’re waiting. I don’t need them yet. What kind of propaganda would this be if it took legions to take you down? It’s much more effective if a handful of my guards crush you. Much more…” He paused, thinking of the word. “More  _ fulfilling _ , if I do it myself.”

Ben’s hand tightened on the blade still in his hand. Its edge gleamed and sparked against the floor.

Hux looked down his nose at Ben. 

“Dying on your knees. You’re half the person I am, Ren,” Hux said, thoughtful, and he brought his arm back to swing the lightsaber at Ben’s neck. 

“You’ve got it backwards,” Ben said, grunting as he swung the blade up into Hux’s groin, then kept pushing it up, up, forcing himself to his feet, yelling with the effort and the agony, dragging the blade higher until it burst through that gelled mess of carrot-colored hair. The body of Armitage Hux split along its charred seam and collapsed onto the hangar floor. The one blue eye Ben could see was wide, the severed mouth agape in shock. 

“You’re half the...half… _ I _ am,” Ben mumbled to no one in particular. It was a great joke. It would make more sense, he thought, when he told Rey about it later. 

The hangar ceiling rotated overhead until he was staring up at it. It was beautiful, if he focused. The bonding of metal and wire, welds and circuits; things that had been destroyed had been molded and made anew. 

Rey’s face bobbed into his vision. Bruises and scrapes covered her lovely skin, and the terrible gash that shone on her cheek was the same color as his saber. Her warm tears fell onto his forehead and she wiped them away. 

“No,” she sobbed. Her hands hovered over his stomach and she concentrated, her brow furrowed, her expression strained.

“The...stone…” Ben whispered. She was trying to Force heal him. But even if she had the ability to try it, she had never done anything like it before. 

Her head whipped around to the last Praetorian guard. He held the stone in one hand and was spinning his chain in the other, primed and ready to end both of them. 

“No!” Rey screamed. Ben could feel her in that scream, every ounce of fear, rage, sorrow, and joy, and it lengthened; each shard of her emotions pierced the air around him and within him. Yet she couldn’t do what she was trying to do. There was a limit to power. There were limits. That was how the Force worked. 

Rey pushed out with a hand and clenched it around the air and with a sickening crack, the Praetorian guard crumpled in on himself as if he were nothing more than paper. The stone in his hand shattered into powder.

It was then that Ben realized two very important things:

One, that he actually had no idea how the Force worked.

And two, Rey was strong as  _ shit _ . 

The second that blasted stone disappeared into the recycled hangar air, it was as if a light turned back on inside Ben. 

Not a lightsaber lamp light, but the light of his being: the knowledge of the universe, the sensations of the motes of bacterium floating in the ship that in turn floated in the infinite cosmos. Their bond exploded back into being and he felt her every thought and feeling as if it was his own. His hip stung where her flesh was crisped by the blaster bolt and she doubled over, curling around her stomach as if she was the one who had been stabbed. 

At least they had their time, he thought. Things were fininte. That’s why they were special. Wasn’t that roughly what Han had told him? He couldn’t remember the entire quote. It hurt to breathe, and he wondered if he should just stop doing it.

Was this how his father felt, before he’d fallen into the void?

Tears pricked in the corners of Ben’s eyes.  _ I’m sorry, father, _ he sent out to the universe, not caring if the universe answered back. 

Rey’s hands settled over his stomach, all of her concentration on him. He could feel little pieces of himself knitting together, trying to merge with each other. The tissues of his organs fluttered about like lost birds before falling silent. 

She was trying, but it wasn’t going to be enough. 

Warmth spread through his stomach under Rey’s hands.

It wasn’t going to be enough.

_ I made a joke _ , Ben thought to her, before all went dark.  _ You would have liked it. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was slightly tempted to tag this fic with ‘Fucking Hux’ because of how many times it’s brought up, but then people might get the wrong idea and think that it’s actually about fucking Hux, and--no offense to the adorable human being that is Domhnall Gleeson--no one fucking wants to fuck Fucking Hux.   
> (This brief moment of levity brought to you by my own guilt at filling a smut piece with so much angst.)


	7. In Which Things are Concluded and the Smut Train Reaches its Destination

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (This chapter contains a potentially triggering conversation about infertility.)

_ She was trying, but it wasn’t going to be enough.  _

_ Warmth spread through his stomach under Rey’s hands. _

_ It wasn’t going to be enough. _

 

It had been enough. 

Well, barely. 

 

**One Ferrian-month later**

 

Rey lay with her face to the sky, her head pillowed on a crumpled jacket. Rain had fallen a few days ago; she could still smell the moisture in the dirt when her back shifted against it. Sunlight warmed her skin and in the bright light, Rey felt like a basking lizard. A brightly-colored butterfly as long as her am flitted over her head and made undulating ripples though the light breeze; as it flew, it looked like a piece of ribbon that twined through the air. 

She turned a page of the Jedi text in her hands. At the soft rustle of old parchment, a heavy weight moved on her stomach. Rey briefly peeked over the top of the book then returned to her page, smiling. 

Ben’s eyes were closed, his face relaxed, his hair lifting gently in the breeze. One of his hands lay across his chest and the other cupped her ankle, lazily stroking the bare skin between her pant cuff and her sock. She carefully pushed his head off of her diaphragm. The man had an enormous head, and it wasn’t insubstantial.

She’d felt him, in their last moment on the  _ Supremacy _ ; he thought that her wild attempt to harness the Force was too unpracticed and grasping to be of any use. And it  _ had  _ been unpracticed and grasping, but it had also been just enough to keep him from the edge of death, and she so she had grappled with him on the precipice and wrapped her will around him until she wasn’t the only one pulling. 

Rey gripped the book tighter as she remembered the events on the  _ Supremacy _ that day. She had been blinded by panic when she Force-lifted Ben onto the nearest ship--a clunky, transport freighter that she only guessed would have a hyperdrive--while strung tight with fear that swarms of Stormtroopers would flood into the hangar. There would be no fighting them with their combined injuries. After slapping as many bacta patches as could fit onto Ben’s wound, she had screamed out of the hangar as fast as the engine could manage.

She’d punched codes into the radio as soon as she found a working channel. Desperate and exhausted, Rey had reached out to the one person she thought could help. 

First, Leia was confused. Then alarmed. Then confused again. 

_ ‘I need to go somewhere to have a lightsaber injury healed.’ _

_ ‘Rey, what happened?’ She could hear the concern in Leia’s voice even through the crackling of the speaker. _

_ Rey looked behind her at the prone figure of Ben currently taking up most of the floor space in the cockpit.  _

_ ‘I’m fine. I’ll explain everything later. I promise.’ _

She would never forget that flight for as long as she lived--nauseous with worry and fear, reaching into their bond back every few seconds to make sure he was still breathing. When she’d plugged in Leia’s coordinates, she had jumped to hyperspace with her heart in her throat and her mind flayed by the expectation that  _ that _ would be what did him in: not the lightsaber-sized hole through his body, but the jump to a speed with which she tried to save his life. 

Rey peeked over her book once more. 

His eyes were still closed, lids twitching in the bright light, though the corner of his mouth lifted and hinted at the dimple on his cheek. She wondered what he was thinking about. It wouldn’t be a chore to find out--they had been in each other’s minds almost constantly during the past several weeks and she could drift into his thoughts with less effort than it took to open her mouth and say the words--yet she had come to cherish her own private thoughts, and so let him have his. 

Leia’s coordinates had led to a planet of healers who worked with the land and the air, with potions and poultices, lasers and buzzing rays of energy. If Rey had been told about all of it when she wasn’t screaming through space, the dying man she loved in tow, she would have scoffed and rolled her eyes at the notion that someone could heal with land. The healers of the planet Ferria reminded her a little of Ahch-To’s fishwives, although though they had a narrower head and a prehensile trunk in the place of the fishwives’ toad-like snouts. Where the fishwives worked from small stone huts, the healers lived in a sprawling labyrinth of dry caves. They weren’t gloomy caves, though; all of the rooms had tapestries on the walls, solar lights drilled into the ceilings, and plush feather beds.

The healing hadn’t been easy, despite the Ferrian’s power. The lightsaber had not only torn through Ben’s body, but had also burned and cauterized flesh, bone, and organs, and every charred scrap had to be removed before anything could begin to regrow. Night after night, Rey had lain beside Ben with her hands wrapped around one of his as he let loose wall-shaking bellows and soft, trembling sobs; her own body shuddering with his pain.

Rey had never thought that one week could feel so long. She had only left his side to relieve herself and nibble on the dusty crackers the healers practically shoved into her mouth. And that one time, when she needed to talk to someone, to ask the healers if…

_ No, _ she thought as bitterness crept up her throat. She didn’t want to think about that conversation right now. Ben would find out, eventually, but she couldn’t bear to have him hear about it from her own thoughts. 

After so many sleepless nights, Ben’s healing had seemed to plateau. One morning Rey had blinked awake to see Ben leaning against the headboard and slowly unwrapping the linen that had bound his torso. She had helped him with it, since he couldn’t hold himself upright yet. The skin of his stomach was mottled with colorful bruises, all surrounding an ugly puckered weal that was almost the size of her fist. 

Ben had sucked in a sharp breath and his gaze had darted to Rey as if terrified to see her reaction. 

_ ‘What’s one more scar? _ ’ She had said, and kissed his frown. His elation at their contact had burned through her, and she immersed herself in it until he had tried to pull her into his arms and had let out a grunt of pain. 

Over the next few weeks they had slept (actually  _ slept _ , as one could only feel so amorous around judgemental elephantine beings while one’s insides knit back together), talked, dreamed, joked, gone on lingering walks in the fading light of day, and healed. The outside world could wait. 

Rey had contacted the Resistance briefly, only long enough to get across that she was alive, well, and far from the First Order. Guilt had wriggled into her chest during the conversations with Leia and Finn, as she forced herself to realize that the outside world didn’t stop and wait just because she was relaxing. Yet her friends were safe. The Resistance’s position remained a secret, and they had managed to recruit more ships and allies to their side. Rey had said nothing about who was with her on Ferria, and she wasn’t planning on doing so until she figured out how to explain everything. Preferably without mentioning all of the sex. (Rey had decided that the best way to say, ‘I’ve been banging your formerly evil son/ex-boss’ was to not say it at all.) 

Leia had seemed to suspect something, though. Rey could have practically heard the satisfied purse of the general’s lips as she had fibbed something about finding herself captured and taken to the  _ Supremacy _ , then the events leading to Hux’s death. 

_ ‘I hope you’ll tell me everything, one day, Rey.’ _

_ ‘But I did tell you--’ _

_ ‘No, you didn’t. We all have our secrets, but some are much better if they don’t stay that way. Tell him ‘hi’ for me, please.’ _

It was only after she disconnected the comm that Rey had realized Leia hadn’t said, ‘them,’ in reference to the healers, but ‘him.’ She had decided to worry about that later.

On one of their walks, she and Ben had discovered the meadow in which they now lounged. It lay on the side of a hill some ways above the healers’ caves. Scores of yellow and orange flowers bobbed in the fragrant air, and clusters of wispy grasses rustled as they brushed one another. Rey looked out past the meadow, through the thick stands of purple-leaved trees, to the faint mountains in the distance. She called them ‘mountains’--the healers undoubtedly had some other, more accurate way to describe them. The peaks looked like the broken pieces of a series of arches, and made her think of the ribcage of a fallen giant. 

Rey turned her attention back to the book in her hands.

Several nights ago, she had complained to Ben about her lack of a lightsaber and the very next morning, she woke to the strange feeling of an ethereal hand on her shoulder and the sight of one of the Jedi texts at the foot of the bed. She almost swore that she had seen the pale blue outline of a bearded, giddy man winking at her as he backed through the rocky wall. 

It was the book on lightsabers. 

At first she had been overwhelmed with joy, but after a moment, the thought crossed her mind that if Luke could overhear that one conversation, what had he  _ seen _ ?

It didn’t bear thinking about, so she didn’t.

Rey turned another page and studied a diagram. It didn’t make much sense to her, but Ben would understand it. She would ask him, in a bit.

She peeked over her book a third time. 

His thick eyelashes lay flush against his cheeks and his breathing was deep and slow, though that little smile still played on his lips. They had spent every afternoon in this meadow for almost an entire week, and all of the sunshine had practically changed Ben into a different person. Gone was the pale, waxen, brooding beast of times past; his skin held a healthy glow and a few more freckles than before, and the small moles on his face and neck no longer looked like raisins on a snowbank. She’d told him as such yesterday, and his glower had been fierce until she had burst into laughter. 

He’d even grown some facial hair, due more to the lack of personal grooming equipment than any desire to experiment with a new look. For whatever reason, Rey had imagined him with a large, bushy beard, and was pleasantly surprised by the soft, dark hair on only his chin and upper lip. 

As she stared at him, his smile spread and his dimples deepened. 

“I thought you were supposed to be reading.” The low rumble of his voice sent vibrations through her stomach.

“I am.”

Ben cracked open an eye and raised a suspicious brow. “Reading my face?”

“Yes.” She narrowed her eyes in mock concentration. “I see your lonely, sad past, filled with black clothing and rage-smashing, and--”

Ben’s scoff interrupted her. “Please. Where do you read that?”

She trailed a finger over the creases on his forehead. “Right there.” 

“What else?” Smirking at her, he turned his face towards her so his ear rested on her belly.

Rey made a show of deep thought. “This,” she pointed to a mole on his cheek, by his nose, “is your love of black clothing.”

“You already mentioned black clothing.”

“You love it so much, I had to mention it twice.”

Ben scowled. His current clothes were lightweight, linen pieces in a faded brown. Rey loved how casual they made him appear, but she could tell he would have preferred something darker and thicker. 

She traced the bridge of his long nose. “This is your strength, and the enormous size of your--”

“All right, now you’re reaching.” He reached one arm around and pinched the back of her thigh. Gently, but it still brought forth a giggling shriek. 

“I was going to say ‘the size of your heart’.” 

“I see right through you.” His voice was low and his eyes drifted down, beneath the book, to her own linen-covered chest. 

Rey swallowed as her nipples tightened involuntarily. She set the book down across her breasts. Not that she didn’t want him, but her worry that Ben would hurt himself outweighed her rising arousal. Or, it just barely outweighed it. 

Her finger drifted along the raised scar on his face, from above his brow down to where it disappeared into the soft collar of his shirt. “This is your stubbornness.” 

“ _ My _ stubbornness?” He huffed a laugh, though his eyes closed at her light touch. “You gave it to me. What does that say about you?”

“We’re not talking about me at the moment,” she said primly.

Ben let out an amused snort. “Fine then, go on.”

She thumbed the crinkles at the side of one of his eyes. “This is your humor, and your lightness. They’re still new, but I see great promise in them.” 

Ben’s hand brushed against hers and their fingers twined together. She expected him to laugh, but his expression became earnest. “You gave me those as well,” he said. “I think I might like them more than the scar.”

If she let those words get to her, she’d burst into a thousand glimmering pieces and float into the turquoise sky. 

“Now these,” she said as her fingers drifted over his twin dimples. “These are from when you met the most perfect woman of all time, who you fell in love with even though she soundly beat your ass more than once and--EEK!”

Rey shrieked as Ben’s wickedly dexterous fingers found the one spot on her ribs that sent her into convulsions. 

“It was only the one time!” Ben laughed as Rey wheezed and then grew still, her spasming stomach continuing to gently bounce his head. 

The hand that had left her ankle to attack her ribcage returned to her calf and stroked her skin through the fabric. 

“Fine, just the one time,” Rey said and hefted the book back into her hands. 

“Which makes us even,” Ben said.

“What makes us even?” Rey said through the book. Her breath hitched as Ben’s fingers trailed up, past her calf, to the hollow behind her knee. 

“You beat my ass once,” he rumbled, his fingers continuing their journey, “And I beat  _ your _ ass once.”

Rey’s skin flushed as she remembered the second adventure on the shuttle: his fingers playing with her, his palm coming into sharp contact with her rear. Her flush deepened as Ben moved his hand to the inside of her thigh, and she realized that she had read the same sentence eight times.

“I hardly think that counts as beating,” she said, and placed the book back onto her chest. 

“Spanking, then. You spanked me, I spanked you?” He was staring up at her, his lips parted, his eyes dark. The sunshine glinted off of the flecks of amber and blue in his irises, brought out by brighter light than what had lit his face in any of their previous encounters. Ben’s fingers brushed her cunt through her pants and a moaning gasp escaped her. 

“You’re playing with semantics,” she breathed. 

Ben shrugged off her accusation and then simply said, “I want you.” 

The words, no matter how small and monosyllabic they were, managed to heat her blood in a way that made her head spin with the intensity. Desire, white-hot and liquid, bloomed between her thighs. 

_ Would you like to? _ he asked inside her head.

Of course she would. Every molecule in her body screamed with it. Yet, she still had to ask, “How are you feeling?” Her voice was high and breathy. 

His lips pulled into an impish grin as he opened his mind and showed her exactly how he was feeling. 

The pain was still there, low and constant, yet it paled in comparison to his lust, his want, his  _ need _ for her. It had been nearly a month since they had last been together: his body roared with the drive to bury himself deep within her, to coax out her sounds of pleasure and bring her to that ecstatic peak; he wanted to claim her and join with her and be so close to her that nothing could come between them, be it clothing, air, or worries. 

Rey’s breathing quickened. The air felt thick and hot in her lungs. Yet a tiny knot of dread, the one that had lived next to her spine since her private talks with the healers, began to wriggle. 

“Would you like to?” Ben asked again, out loud. 

Rey paused. 

“Oh, shit.” Ben winced, before she could answer. “Your tea. I forgot, you don’t have it with you.” His hand drifted back down her leg. 

“I don’t need it.” The words popped out of her mouth like excitable sandhoppers before she could contain them. The knot against her spine churned, taking her stomach with it. 

Ben’s brows creased in confusion. “Did they give you something else?”

“No.” She sucked in a shallow breath and stared at the wrinkled leather cover of the Jedi text. “I...don’t need anything.”

Stars, she could see the hope flash across his face like lightning, and it made this, all of this, so much more painful. “Are...are you--” he started.

“No,” she interrupted, unable to bear hearing the word said out loud. She closed the book and clutched it across her chest like a shield. “I can’t.”

Ben sat up on an elbow and looked down at her, concern flooding his expression. He opened his mouth to say something, but Rey barreled on.

“In that first week here, I thought I might have been, because I was...late.” She gestured at her stomach. “So I went to them, and...I can’t. They’re not sure why.” The Ferrians hadn’t been exactly sure what had done it, although a heavy dose of blame had been placed on her frequent proximity to radioactive elements in all of the wrecked starships on Jakku. 

She kept staring at the book in her hands, unable to look at Ben. She couldn’t bear to see his disappointment. Family and the continuation of genetics had been so important to him and his relatives (Ben had been the direct or indirect cause of two of their deaths, yet she wasn’t going to trouble herself with more semantics). They had all prided themselves on their lineage in one way or another; if one was going with family tree analogies, the Skywalker family was the unbreakable length of bindweed that burst through foundations and stretched its roots impossibly deep into the soil--and Rey would be the shears that clipped it into an infertile nub. 

“Did you want children?” Ben asked, his voice soft.

“No,” Rey whispered. It was mostly true. All of her life, she had never been grounded, wealthy, or even healthy enough to even consider growing a body inside her body, and then caring for that body once it emerged. Besides, if her own parents had tossed her to the side for one more drink, who could say if she wouldn’t somehow do the same? And she didn’t want to give that gift to anyone else. 

And yet…

As she had lain on the carved rock slab with the healer’s tufted paws hovering over her torso, there had been a moment, maybe even one full minute, that she had entertained the thought. The image of a child had hurtled into her imagination: tall and gangly, brown-eyed and shaggy-haired, with a dirty face and dirtier hands. She heard the cry of ‘Mama!’ and scooped the small body into her arms with a laugh and a kiss.

The healer had returned his arms to his sides and with only a few words, the image dissolved like a desert mirage. 

“Why are you crying?” 

It was only when Ben said it that she realized that a warm droplet tracked down her cheek. She wiped it away with the back of a hand. 

“I’m fine,” she muttered. 

“Rey…” The way he said it, coaxing and kind, unraveled all of the barriers she had hastily slapped together.

“I can’t give you what you want,” she said in a voice barely louder than the hush of the grass. 

“What?” Disbelief and confusion laced his voice.

His large hand cupped her cheek and she finally lifted her gaze to meet his. She could see no disappointment in his face, nor pity; instead, she saw acceptance, understanding, and love. 

“I want  _ you _ ,” he said, his thumb brushing her skin. It looked as if he wanted to say more but couldn’t figure out how to say it, so he leaned forward and kissed her. Every nerve in her body leapt awake and sang in joy. She breathed in the scent of his sun-warmed skin and the rich spice that was just Ben. 

His lips moved over hers, softly, gently, almost as if he were worried she would break. But Rey had never felt more whole. They would face the future, whatever it held, together, just as they were. 

She unceremoniously dumped the sacred, ancient Jedi text into the dirt and wrapped her arms around Ben’s neck, one hand sifting through the soft waves of his hair. His lips parted and when she snaked her tongue into his mouth, he let out a deep, rumbling moan. 

_ I want you too, _ she thought to him, and in the brief contact of their minds, she could glimpse his surprised delight that one of his early fantasies was about to come true. He had thought of being with her in a meadow, on a bed of grass, under a crystal sky, long before it had even seemed in the realm of possibility. 

Ben shifted to move on top of her and then hissed in pain, one hand bracing himself on the ground and the other flying to his torso, his face twisting in apology. 

“Lie on your back.” 

Not usually one to follow directions, he obeyed instantly. Rey moved over him and straddled his hips, relishing the feel of his strong thighs between hers. His dark mane tumbled over his forehead and spread about his head in a black halo. The hair of his goatee was soft under her fingertips as she feathered them across his lips, and he grasped her hand pressed a kiss to her skin. 

She started to drag his linen shirt up his torso, but he brushed her hands away and removed her shirt instead. His hungry gaze roamed over her naked body, heating and prickling it wherever he looked. Again, she lifted his shirt, and again, he pulled it back down, this time with a noticeable grimace.

“What’s wrong?” she said with a frown. 

Ben’s lips pressed together, and she felt shame prickle out of his mind. It came to her, then, along with the memory of his worry when she had helped unwrap his bandage in the caves. 

Rey stood quickly and removed her trousers and underpants, tossed them onto the grasses, then returned to her seat astride the rapidly hardening bulge in Ben’s pants, wriggling around a bit just to see him shudder underneath her. 

“I told you earlier, it’s just another scar,” she said. His large hands rested on her waist and she became intensely aware of his warm touch and the feather-light brush of his thumbs on her skin. Until this moment, she had never thought that one’s sides could be considered an erogenous zone. 

Ben didn’t say anything, as he was staring intently at her breasts. His hands reached out to cup them. She smacked his wrists.  “Listen to me.”

“I am.”

“Then eyes up.”

He made eye contact with her, albeit reluctantly, and his hands returned to her waist. “I just really like them.”

“And they like you, but I need you to focus for a moment.” 

As though they thoroughly enjoyed the attention, her nipples began to pebble. Ben’s eyes lowered briefly before snapping back up, and the thick length of his cock twitched against her. 

“It’s been far too long since I’ve seen you without clothing, Ben,” she said. “I want you naked when I take you.”

Another twitch, stronger than before. 

“What are you so embarrassed about?” 

The ludicrously broad-shouldered man between her legs, who had defeated the leader of an entire Order, wrapped himself in enough power to destroy entire star systems, and could make her melt with only a few low words, looked away and pursed his lips like a petulant child. 

“My skin is far from perfect.” She pointed at the new scar on her hip, pink and puckered, then at the healing gash on her cheek that mirrored his longer one. 

“It’s not the same,” he muttered. 

“Is it?” she said. “Let’s see.” She ripped his shirt up the middle with the Force and dragged it off of him. 

He stared at her with a scandalized expression that would have been more fitting on a nun who had just witnessed public fornication. 

“You ripped my shirt!” he shouted. “That wasn’t even mine!”

Rey flapped a hand at his pitiful argument. “They have extras.” Besides, she’d been wanting to do that ever since she’d him do it in his chambers back on the  _ Supremacy _ . The wide scar on his stomach had faded somewhat, but he still flinched as she brushed her fingers over the knobby knot of healed flesh. 

Ben’s closed mouth worked as he processed his thoughts. With a sigh, the fight seemed to drain from him. 

“I don’t like it because it reminds me how close I came to death.” He turned his head to the side so his cheek lay on the grass. “To failure.”

His eyes flicked to hers when Rey leaned forward to brush his cheek.

“Have you ever thought that that’s why I like it?” she said. “Because even though you came so close, you still returned to me?”

“Oh,” he said, facing her once more. “Ah.” 

She braced herself on her palms on either side of his head, and stared down at him. His eyes darted down to her breasts before resting on her lips. Rey slowly, teasingly, drew her lower lip into her mouth and gripped it between her teeth. Ben’s breath hitched, his jaw slackened, and she could all but feel his pulse surging through his body. He twitched beneath her a third time. 

The effect she had on him was intoxicating. It emboldened her limbs and strummed the nerves deep within her and brought forth the wetness that was soaking through the front of his pants. She didn’t much worry about that, though. There were extra pants in the caves, as well as extra shirts.  

He reached up then, one hand behind her neck, the other on her back, and pulled her against him, his lips claiming hers with a fierceness that sent a thrill along her spine. 

_ Rey _ . 

The word echoed in her mind. It was his curse, his prayer, his mantra. Her hair fell around his face like a curtain and he brushed it aside as his tongue danced with hers. Wherever his hands traveled, heat followed. Her fingers twined in his thick hair and she captured his moan, breathing it in, ingesting it as nourishment. 

Those long and lovely digits of his traced her ribcage and up each knob of her vertebrae, coming to rest on her breasts. They cupped and stroked, pinched and rolled, until her hips bucked against him and her breath came in little pants against his mouth, and then he lifted her body up so he could capture one nipple between his lips. 

Rey’s cries rang out into the clear sky, but none of the foliage seemed to mind. 

Together, they reached down to where she straddled him; Rey to Ben’s waistband, and Ben to Rey’s cunt. Their hands tangled around one another and after very little time, Rey gave up on his drawstring and instead gripped his broad shoulders to steady herself against the barrage of sensation. She lifted slightly onto her knees to give him better access, and shuddered as he languidly stroked the swells and ridges of her sex while his other hand gripped her hip, pinning her in place.

One finger rubbed then dipped into her, and her head fell back with a moan. She adored the feel of him inside her, even if it was just one finger. Oh, but after an entire month of nothing but stares and kisses and winks and the light brushing of hands against bodies, she wanted so much more. Realizing she must have been holding her mind open to him, she watched as he withdrew his finger, brought it to his mouth, and sucked it, then gave a low, satisfied groan. His eyes drifted shut as he tasted her. 

Rey’s mouth went dry. Deep inside, she felt the walls of her vagina shudder. Yeah, it  _ shuddered _ . After all of the attention Ben had given it in the past, Rey knew well enough that the feeling wasn’t just ‘heat unfurling in her core,’ or a ‘delicate fluttering in her belly.’ Not anymore. It was the low, pulsing feeling of her body preparing itself for the delicious slide of his cock into her. 

Ben sucked a second finger into his mouth and then rubbed both of them, cool and slippery with saliva, against her cunt and pushed them inside. 

Pleasure rocketed through her with every heavy drag of his fingers and she found herself bucking into him, trying to take him deeper, wanting even more. She lifted her hips and sank back down onto his hand, up and down, fucking him even while his cock strained through his pants and prodded at her with a jealous intensity. 

Panic burst through her mind from his. She paused for just a second before realizing that after so long, the gentle brush of her ass against his cockhead through the linen was bringing Ben dangerously close to that final peak. If Rey had anything to say about it, he wasn’t getting there  _ outside _ of her. With a wave of her hand, his pants and undergarments shuffled down his legs and pooled at his feet. 

Ben let out a strangled groan as his eyes scrunched shut. Shit, maybe that had been the wrong move.

“How can I help?” Rey said, stilling her body above his.

“GIve me...a moment,” he said through gritted teeth. She took the moment to ogle his naked torso. Somehow, despite his injury, it remained delectably muscled. Rey hadn’t really thought much of male musculature before, as it hadn’t been a part of her life pre-Ben, yet she couldn’t help but gawk at him: his thick body shone with sweat, veins popping on his biceps and forearms...it was beautiful.  _ He _ was beautiful. She had a beautiful, sculpted man underneath her, and it felt absolutely glorious. Constellations of tiny moles speckled his wide pectorals down to the hollow beneath his sternum and the dip of his hip bones. Rey brushed the pad of a finger over his flat nipple and he jumped. 

“Nngh!”

“Sorry,” she said, not meaning it. 

He opened his eyes then and smiled at her, that lovely crooked smile that dimpled his cheeks and crinkled his eyes. 

“Of course you’re not sorry.” His smile turned into a smirk as he thrust his fingers deep into her as his other hand gripped her hip and shoved her down against his palm. 

“Please, Ben,” she whimpered. “I...I need…”

The words crumbled around her as he withdrew his fingers and smeared her wetness over the head of his cock and down the sides. She felt the velvety tip of it nudge against her swollen lips and then it breached her, sending little explosions throughout her veins. Inch by inch, she impaled herself on him. Her body stretched around his length, slowly adjusting to the now-unused-to invasion, until her hips were flush against his. They were both breathing heavily, and Rey knew that Ben--his eyes wide, pupils blown to an inky black, a flush quickly spreading across his chest and up his neck--was her own reflection. 

“You feel…fucking...amazing.” He ended on a groan. His fingers dug into her hips as he seemed to fight for breath. 

Rey smiled down at him. “As do you.” She lifted up and then eased back onto him, gingerly at first, as she still had a little adjusting to do, and then faster and faster, each motion drawing moans and cries from both of them and soft wet sounds from where they were joined. His thumb brushed her clit and rubbed it. Liquid pleasure scalded her as it surged across her body, roiling and churning with every glide of his thumb. 

“I love you,” Ben said suddenly.

“I-- _ fuck, _ Ben, your...your fucking  _ cock _ \--I...love you, too,” she somehow managed to get out. 

When she glanced down, the glorious man she was riding had the gall to look a little disappointed. 

“What?” she said around gasps. 

“It’s just...last time I said that, it made you come.” He frowned.

Rey almost laughed. “Each time is different, Ben.” On the shuttle, his words had been wonderful and beautiful, but her orgasm had mostly been due to the way she had been fiercely rubbing her clit against his pubic bone, and it had just happened to occur right as he had spoken. She wasn’t about to ruin that for him, though. 

His thumb increased its tempo as his other hand cupped her breast and rolled her nipple between two fingers. 

When his eyes darted down, and widened, she peeked into his head, wanting to see what he saw. 

The sight nearly undid her right then: she watched as his rigid length disappeared into her, then emerged, glistening with her own wetness. Slightly unfair, for him to be the one to see all this, but after all, wasn’t this what the Force was for? She watched it all again. Yes. Decidedly, yes. This was  _ exactly _ what the Force was for.

“Come for me,” he said.

Shit. That low, rumbling voice wrapping around such a spectacular phrase was all she needed. Her back arched and her thighs gripped him, trembling with the force of her orgasm as it ripped through her body and left nothing but floating scraps of thought that twirled about aimlessly in her mind. 

Ben thrust his hips up against her, but winced with the motion and growled a curse. She could feel his frustration through the fading fog of her climax. He wanted to be closer. He wanted to feel  _ everything. _ Using his arms, he tried to push himself upright and when he grunted in pain, Rey leaned back, her hands grabbing his shoulders, and pulled him up until his chest was smashed against her breasts. 

Rey felt the shift in the air when Ben manipulated the Force behind him. He relaxed hesitantly as he tested the improvised support, and then leaned back against solidified air. Someday, she hoped he would teach her how to do that. Maybe if she said the words out loud, Force-ghost Luke would hear, bring the pertaining book, and...would undoubtedly burst into the clearing as soon as they were about to come. The man had the worst timing. She wouldn’t put it past him. Rey snatched the thought back to her and buried it. 

Ben’s hot mouth dragged up her throat. His soft facial hair tickled and caressed her skin in a way she had never imagined. Once they returned to the lands of hair removal implements, she wasn’t going to let him shave it. 

The way his hands roamed across her skin like they were worshiping her, and the way his mouth caressed hers, and the tender way he would look at her as if she was just...fucking... _ perfect _ , and the soft sounds he made as she moved on top of him, all combined into somewhat of an epiphany for Rey. She had fucked before (and been fucked in return), but she had never ‘made love.’ It had always sounded like a sappy, laughable sort of concept, at least when she heard it mentioned in holos. 

But they were definitely making love, and neither of them seemed remotely interested in laughing at the moment. 

Bed games had their own level of fun. Rey couldn’t deny that the teasing and the tying and the spanking had been delicious (and she was certainly looking forward to the next time she could rip off Ben’s shirt, and possibly tie him up with it), yet this...this was different.

She really liked it.

Ben pulled back slightly. The hand whose fingers had been inside her hovered, nervously, by her mouth, and Rey could feel the question budding in Ben’s mind. 

She took his hand in hers and sucked those two fingers into her mouth, her own taste a heady concoction of salt and sweat and desire. Her tongue laved him as her pussy gripped him, and between his fingers and his cock, she felt completely and utterly filled, and another orgasm tingled its approach in the tips of her toes.

“Fff--fu--fuck…” Ben stuttered as if he couldn’t believe what was currently happening. Apparently his endless stream of holos still left room for a few surprises. 

_ Keep...with your thumb...more _ , Rey managed to send to him, her mind already fading in the onslaught of the looming ecstasy. 

His touch was jerky and inconsistent, but it was just the right amount to send her off again, and she screamed around his fingers and seized around his cock, harsh tingling warmth flashing through her arms and legs and neck and pussy and exploding in her head. Ben reclaimed his hands and gripped her hips as he slammed her down onto him. His yell burst through the air and the trees and she felt the searing pleasure of his own orgasm as it tore through her mind and the warmth of his cum as it spilled into her body. 

Yet Ben could never keep a solid hold on the Force when he was so distracted. The makeshift backrest dissolved into the air and together, they crashed onto the grass, breathing heavily, not caring about the soft tickle of grass blades and flower petals.

When they finally moved some time later, Ben’s chest had a pink mark from where Rey’s cheek had pressed against it and her back prickled with sweat from the heating air. They dressed--Ben managed as much as he could, though Rey still had a difficult time feeling guilty for his torn shirt--and shuffled into the shade where they lay side-by-side and stared at the sky through the quivering purple leaves. Vibrant blue-green birds swooped and chirped over their heads before landing on a far tree.

“I want to run an idea by you,” Ben said.

Rey squeezed his hand. “What kind of idea?”

“It’s...well…”

Looking over at him, he was concentrating on the trees.

“Yes?” She elbowed him softly.

He turned to her. “I’ve been talking with the First Order,” he said cautiously, as if expecting her to scold him for it. It didn’t surprise her as much as he anticipated, though. More than once, she had passed the stolen shuttle and overheard him speaking with someone through the radio; she’d heard the name ‘Motev’ a few times, and Ben had returned to their bed seeming more relaxed. Besides, who else was out there for him to talk to?

Rey trusted this man with her life, yet she still felt the scratch of worry. What if he was figuring out his new rules as Supreme Leader? Technically, that was still his title. The First Order was his to command. 

“Oh?” she said, hoping her worry wasn’t obvious.

Ben’s gaze returned to the tree canopies. A purple leaf swayed down onto Ben’s forehead and he brushed it away. 

“I was doing some research, before Hux…”

“Betrayed you?” Rey offered.

Ben frowned. “Yeah.”

“What were you researching?” Rey asked before he could follow those memories too far.

“History, mostly. Politics. How one would form a senate.” His glanced at her out of the corner of his eye. 

Rey tried not to get too excited yet. 

Ben brought an arm behind his head. “Having one supreme ruler for an entire galaxy is an extremely inefficient system of government. It’s been proved so many times, I’m honestly not sure why people keep trying to make it happen.” He flipped to his side to face Rey. His eyes were bright with suppressed excitement and his mouth did that little press that she knew was a sign he was trying to figure out how to say something. Rey had the powerful urge to kiss him and wrap her body around his, but she let him continue. 

“I want to gather ambassadors from the worlds. Maybe not on Chandrila; I think an entire planet is much too large. But what do you think of a space station? In neutral territory. It would be a trading outpost, and a...a hub of diplomacy.” He was smiling now, broad and joyful. Rey couldn’t help but return it.

“I think it’s a wonderful idea,” she said. “What does the First Order think?”

“They like it. At least all of those I’ve spoken with. It’ll be difficult at first, to gain trust. But...maybe with your help, and…” He swallowed, “with the Resistance…” 

Rey knew he was thinking of his mother, how she would react to such a sudden shift in the galaxy.

“I’m sure she’ll be proud of you,” Rey said. “I know it.”

He closed the distance between them and kissed her, then lay with their foreheads touching. 

“What ship will you use?” Rey asked.

His breath was warm on her face when he answered. “I was thinking about the  _ Supremacy. _ Maybe. Once it’s repaired. And renamed.”

“You’ll need a good name.”

“I know.” He rumbled out an ‘hmm.’ 

“Hit me with some ideas, I’ll judge them for you.”

“I’m not good with thinking on the spot.”

“Try it anyway.”

“ _ Star Peace. _ ”

Rey let out a shrieking cackle. 

“You wanted ideas!” Ben made to roll away, but she caught him.

“Sorry, sorry. Keep going.” 

“The  _ Diplomacy _ .” 

He frowned at her chuckle and grumbled. 

“It’s better than  _ Star Peace _ ,” she said honestly, and pressed her lips to his.

No matter the name, the idea was a lovely one: A diplomatic spaceship, floating in neutral territory, filled with ambassadors from different worlds all working together for peace. Rey thought it sounded like the plot of a really great holo. 

She couldn’t wait.

They lay together until the sky darkened into black and all light had fled. Yet however long the night lasted, however clouded or cold, dawn was never far away. Darkness rose, and then light, to meet it. 

In this, at least, the wild universe would always remain constant. 

 

#

 

_ “I’m want to build something new, something better. Will you join me?” _

_ “ _ **_Yes_ ** _.” _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Anyone get my Babylon 5 reference at the very end there? An-anyone? No? Sigh.)
> 
> That’s all, folks! If you’re reading this end-note, that means you’ve stuck with this rattling, rocking smut-train all the way through, and for that, I am extraordinarily grateful and humbled. Thank you all for the comments: they made me giggle, grin, squeak out high-pitched noises that scared the cats, and grin more.   
> I’ve promised to write a bafflingly niche Star Wars fic for a friend, but after that I’ll be back to these two wacky kids, since I’ve already planned out the first chapter for the next Reylo smut-train. (A western AU, so technically it’ll be a coal-powered and slow-moving smut-train. I’m very excited. Rey will be an outlaw. Ben will be the sheriff who is after her. Did I mention how excited I am for this?!?)  
> If you like my writing, please leave comments and subscribe to this channel. (I might have watched way too many Youtube videos recently. Is it ‘channel’ on AO3? Is it ‘user’? Is ‘subscribe’ even the right word? Unimportant.)
> 
> Smut completed: 1  
> Feels granted: All  
> Levels gained: ?


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